Overly Aware of my Actions and OCD targeting things that I love!!

[InOverMyHead]

Hi All 

Over the last few months at times when I'm around children I've been overly aware of my actions, such as  when I was around my friends kid once I had the thought what if his hand brushed against my bum as I was currently bending over at the time looking at something and then I paused before I got up and I wondered why I paused if I did it on purpose. Now when I'm around children and even my dog because I've started having thoughts and awareness around her now which sucks because I love her so much and I used to love working with kids I was going to be a child care worker before all this started it always targets the things I love! But now as well as the thoughts when I'm around kids I pause even if I'm far away from them or my body will sway one way closer to them even though I've tried to give them a wide berth and I'm obsessing over why I do that and why I'm pausing or swaying towards them, at times it's like I don't know where to go or sometimes how to get out and it's the same round my dog, I've tried not to pause or move away from my dog. There's been times where I've had the thoughts around the child what if my arms brushed acrossed my breasts and then I've done something and it's happened and I'm left wondering why and what if I did on purpose and then like I'm pretty sure it was a purposeful act and then like no it wasn't etc sometimes the thoughts go by so fast before the action of aren't coherent and I'm like what was I thinking... does anyone else get this? Should I just treat it like OCD? 

[Binxy]

Just now, InOverMyHead said:

I've tried to give them a wide berth and I'm obsessing over why I do that

This is probably a compulsion- avoidance will keep the OCD thought alive.

Sounds like classic OCD to me- I don't have any kids or a dog, but when I was very ill a few years ago I had a cat. I was constantly on guard and worrying that I done something inappropriate to the cat. Was horrible.

Treat it like any other OCD worry/obsession.

[Running Lover]

Yes I’ve had this with children and my cat. It’s horrible. 

[InOverMyHead]

7 hours ago, Binxy said:

This is probably a compulsion- avoidance will keep the OCD thought alive.

Sounds like classic OCD to me- I don't have any kids or a dog, but when I was very ill a few years ago I had a cat. I was constantly on guard and worrying that I done something inappropriate to the cat. Was horrible.

Treat it like any other OCD worry/obsession.

Thanks Binxy it's like I've been trying not to move away or avoid my dog, I think I've been doing ok but at times it will be like well you didn't avoid it so you must have done something wrong if that makes sense? Like just now I was stroking her head and the thought came if I stroke her head it might push it down towards my private area and then I continued stroking her head maybe a little more vigorously I think I was trying not to avoid it and knew it wouldn't matter even if something did happen but my anxiety is now raised and I'm like what if... and it's like I'm terrified waiting for the moment I'll do something on purpose and it won't be OCD! I know I'm probably doing stuff I would normally do anyway but I'm just more aware because of the thoughts it's so difficult just to accept and move on though! 

[ocdsufferer85]

Ok. I have been worried about my reaction to thoughts years ago..questioning why I did certain things,  was it me being bad etc etc.

I paused when i felt in danger, I feel I reacted wrong. 

I've been replaying it over and over and over :(:(

Could we talk please? @InOverMyHead

[InOverMyHead]

Of course we can @ocdsufferer85

[Chels]

I can totally relate, I'm the same if a child sits on my knee or something also if I'm scrolling through pictures on social media I am wary of where about I touch on the screen or I think I'm doing something wrong it's awful and gives me really bad anxiety x

[Running Lover]

I do that with the computer screen as well. Say I’m on my iPad I think did I just touch that child on the image. As for having child on knee. When mine was little if on my knee I would get horrible groinal response and worry about it that much that I would try and let it happen again to check it was okay and I had not done anything wrong. 

[Atlantis]

Hi, @InOverMyHead  and @Chels - I get this problem and by far it's been the worst, most long suffering OCD theme I've ever had. I have good and bad spells, currently having a bad spell which is why I've logged back into the forum.