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A day full of exposure yesterday and panic today


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I am staying in a holiday apartment, 300 miles from home, for a special occasion tomorrow.

I find travelling and staying in places where other people have stayed incredibly triggering for my contamination OCD and difficult for all aspects of it. My Psychologist recommended using the next few days as an exposure experiment (particularly for my contamination OCD) and I've actually been massively better at facing loads of challenges with far fewer compulsions. However I'm sleep deprived (I've had less than 5 hours each night for three nights) and stressed out. These are the problems I'm facing with my OCD at the moment, any help/advice/support would be great:

1. Contamination OCD: I had to collect a parcel in the town here for Mother's day tomorrow and didn't expect to be asked for a signature (which I would never normally do). I signed for it with my index finger (on a screen), only to notice my finger was bleeding. Is this anything to worry about? I think this should be ok so my anxiety level is gradually reducing over time with this one.

2. Responsibilty/harm: I just took my dog for a walk on the beach (I have OCD about harm coming to my dog) and not only were there tons of pieces of glass on the sand (she sometimes eats inedible items) but I let her off-lead for once to play with another young dog and she almost ran into a main road! She then flopped onto the sand right next to a clear tube/straw that seemed to have white powder in it. I'm not sure if she ate anything on the sand but I'm scared in case she got some sort of drugs-related thing especially as we will have to leave her for a long time tomorrow so might not notice if she becomes unwell. 

3. Emetophobia/Contamination: One of the guests, who is due to attend the event tomorrow, has a young baby who has just recently been hospitalised for dehydration following a nasty virus (most likely a stomach bug that causes diarrhoea and/or vomiting). I'm severely emetophobic (vomit phobic) and viruses like that are highly contagious (so that if the baby's mother attends without the baby, which might happen, then she could spread the infection through hand shakes, hugs to her family members and the buffet). In any other situation where I had heard that a guest had a sickness bug at home I would definitely not go (in fact I tend to avoid people for at least a month after they've had a stomach bug) but my family members would be really hurt if I didn't attend this and I want to go- I just wish said guest wasn't going to be there.  

I'm concerned that I'm not going to be able to keep things together until I leave on Wednesday but I really want to get on top of my OCD this year and to keep going with the ERP on this trip.

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Hi Belanna,

All these worries are based in 'what ifs', not 'what is'.

Perhaps it would help you to think, 'I'll deal with that worry if and when it happens, not before.'

None of the things you're worrying about are preventable, so dealing with the fallout IF something was to come of it is all you can do anyway. Therefore taking a practical approach might help you. :) 

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Hi, I think you're doing a great job challenging your OCD. Of course, the worries are there, which is a pain but you're not giving in to them. 

I know it's not easy when you're worried but you need to prioritize getting some good quality sleep. Problems are always more manageable after some decent kip.

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Thanks so much snowbear, legal and polarbear. I'm actually on a time out (in the car) from the party at the moment but it's my social anxiety that i'm struggling with more than the OCD at the moment. I feel painfully shy and can't think of things to ask or say in response to people. OCD and the isolation it has caused have really stolen my ability to talk and be normal :-( . 

I'm wondering if things will ever get better xx

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