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False Memory OCD and Urges, Advice Please


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A couple of years ago I was sitting in my living room when a pressure at the front of my head took place, it felt like I was trying to remember something and then the thought came that I touched a child I went through the names of all the children I know and then one seemed to ring true. I couldn't remember where or when and thought I must of blacked the memory out. Lots of stuff has gone through my mind about this then and more recently different places different ways of touching her and some seem more familiar then others and I remember or think I remember having the urge to touch her at one point and in my head it's says if I had the urge I would of done it... but again at the same time I can't remember having the thought or urge clearly, when or where this would of happened, any help with this? 

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I have had false memory and it is the pits.  The key is to not buy into that original "what if...?" thought.  Compulsions keep it alive, and the more compulsions you carry out, the more convincing the whole scenario seems.  Your brain receives the message "I am spending a lot of time on this, therefore it must be important."

Your post above demonstrates several compulsions - ruminating, scanning your memory, going through the names of children you know, considering it from as many different angles as possible.  These compulsions have kept the worry alive, which otherwise would have been a fleeting thought which would have disappeared as quickly as it came.

I know it is very difficult indeed to resist the urge to "solve" this, to sort it out and pin it down once and for all.  But the cruel irony of rumination is, the more you do it, the less sure you will be.

The only answer here is to gently tug your brain away from the urge to ruminate on this, each and every time you feel like you want to.  Your brain will scream otherwise, but you are in charge here - you can choose to ignore your brain, although it is not easy.  Is there anything you can do to perhaps divert your attention for a bit? A good book, TV program, or whatever?

Also, do you have any self-help books on OCD? "False memory" by Dave Preston (Polarbear on the forum) really helped me with this theme.

Take care x

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I also went through a spell of false memories and like GBG said, Polar Bears book really helped to pull me through it. 

It really helped me to stop seeing them as “false memories” and to see them for what they were : intrusive thoughts trying to trick you! After realising this/not focusing on it anymore and reading Polar Bear’s book it completely lifted and I could see clearly how my worries were so irrational and there was nothing to fear. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel.  X

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