Going crazy

[ocdsufferer85]

I'm just going crazy about it all.

I feel like because I was so sure I WOULDNT act on a thought... I relaxed...I didn't run away from it, I was proving to OCD it cannot win...it cannot make me 'speak'

I feel like I was then sucked in...here's your fear...imagine doing it...you could just say it now...pause...I felt like at the point I was paused...I could do it or not do it...its my choice...

But it makes no sense...its not what I want.

The doubt started building up until eventually I was unsure if I had acted or not.

I went from feeling sure, to getting more questions...thinking I could handle it and show ocd I was boss...then boom it attacks.

Why did I start to move my mouth to see how anyone would speak under a breath? Why did I feel ok to do that? I didn't want to screw up so why did this happen? I'd like to know. Its what kills me.

 

[ocdsufferer85]

I know I keep posting. 

I'm going mental and failing to see any innocence.

I need to know this. . 

*Can OCD draw you close to your fear?

*Can you feel like you could just do it?

*Does anyone relate to feeling like they got close to acting in the moment, but they didn't want to?

*Can it feel like you're a different person for a moment?

*Can you zone out and pause and imagine just acting on your fear?

*Can OCD make it feel like you in a split second were numb...or that you wouldn't care if you did it?

*Can OCD convince you that you tried to do something bad?

*Can it feel like a strong impulse pulling you to the edge of acting?

 

[Isthisreality]

1 hour ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

ne relate to feeling like they got close to acting in the moment, but they didn't want to?

*Can it feel like you're a different person for a moment?

*Can you zone

The only thing i can tell you is that you will never recover with this mindset. You are being dominated by fear and if you want to recover do you need to show OCD power. OCD will always pulverize your arguments. It is a never ending story. Stop arguing with it, it wins every time.

 

I hope you don't avoid the therapy this week! I really do. GL!

Edited March 13, 2018 by Isthisreality

[PolarBear]

No answers to your questions. Enough already. You keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. 

You've been told what to start doing but you keep reverting back to old behavior. Stuck you will stay until you change your tune.