Jump to content

Do some people never recover?


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 170
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

4 minutes ago, Franklin12 said:

I feel like I have an issue with how I feel about things, rather than the things themselves.

Of course you do Franklin its not the thoughts it's how we react to them. 

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Feelings follow thoughts and action. If you think the thoughts are uninmportant and you behave in such a way to show the thoughts are uninmportant, then in time you will feel that way too. 

Exactly - another way of putting the same thing I was saying, but with more clarity - thank you Bear. 

Link to comment

I think this is the missing piece for me in this puzzle. I think I feel like thoughts follow feelings rather than the other way round - so x situation made me feel bad once, x is a bad thing to happen, x must never happen. 

Link to comment

Like I have complete intolerance to bad feelings and must avoid them. I’ve tried to make friends with bad feelings and accept them as part of life blah blah, but I’m still pretty rubbish at it.

It goes: this thing doesn’t objectively matter, I know this - but it will make me feel bad - therefore it does matter.

Edited by Franklin12
Link to comment
7 hours ago, Franklin12 said:

I sometimes wonder on the same line, do we ever truly come to believe what we are retraining our brains to believe? I really know what I’m supposed to think about things and I can tell myself those things, but I don’t FEEL like I really believe what I’m telling myself. If I’m honest with myself those things still FEEL important. I don’t want to believe those things, and objectively they don’t matter to me, and if my fears happened to someone else I would say all the right things and truly believe what I was saying to them. But it just doesn’t feel true when applied to me. If that makes any sense. 

I *think* - and I don't know this for sure - but if you continue to apply new mindsets to things, and you build evidence for those new ways of thinking, eventually the feelings will follow.  I do know what you mean though.  There can be a real disconnect between what you rationally think and what you really feel about things. 

Link to comment

I went through a period of about 14 months where I would've "recovered". I had intrusive thoughts quite a lot but I managed them well, just ignored them and continued with my day. I remember several occasions where I thought to myself, "remember that time two years ago when I had constant terrible thoughts and needed therapy? God that was a dark time... what's for dinner?" I even quit antidepressants cos I felt so good.

 

Rumination is the biggest problem for me. When I don't ruminate I feel pretty good. For me, it was the frequency of the intrusive thoughts/images which affected me more so than the content. I would often think "it's not normal to have these thoughts all the time." Having maybe one a day is manageable. What my issue is, is ruminating on the thoughts and the past and that's a real kicker.

 

I've been going through a relapse since last November and the past week has been especially difficult. What keeps me going is the knowledge that I've had good times in the past and that maybe they can return in the future.

Link to comment

Hi Kirby

This sounds very similar to the experience I've had in recent months.  I was doing OK before that and then it hit me. 

4 hours ago, kirby42 said:

When I don't ruminate I feel pretty good.

I am exactly like this, and I always think "if I know this is true, why do I constantly do it?" and there is no good answer to this, other than it is soooo hard to stop.  I think rumination in particular is hard to get on top of, because it feels semi-automatic (unlike, say, checking the door is locked or googling for reassurance or whatever).  And you have to be on the lookout for it all the time which can be exhausting.  I have found though (as I'm sure you have in the past) that once you have managed to get a foothold in it for a day, or two or three, then it becomes easier after that.  It is that first chunk of time when you're constantly forcing your brain onto something else which is the most difficult.

4 hours ago, kirby42 said:

What keeps me going is the knowledge that I've had good times in the past and that maybe they can return in the future.

:yes:

this is exactly the mindset we should have.  Relapses happen and they suck but they don't have to always happen, and you CAN get back to the good times from before.  You're stronger than OCD x

Link to comment

Relapse help should be a part of CBT, but may often not be because of restrictions on number of sessions allowed /financeable. 

I suggest - as does Break Free From OCD - we keep a log of what happens when we relapse and what methods or tools prove helpful to us when we do. 

We can then codify that into a relapse recovery blueprint, so we are never at a loss if we feel ourselves slipping. 

What works once may or may not work again as I discovered, so having various things written down we know can work is really useful. 

I have such a blueprint, just in case of need. In time there is no need to refer to it, because our mind applies its new learned behaviours. 

Link to comment

That's really good advice Roy :)

I think that looking at your general beliefs about yourself and the world and how they lead to you getting OCD is important for resilience to relapse and there isn't a great deal said about this.

I think some of these beliefs will be hard to uncover and very difficult to challenge too which is why people relapse. A lot of how we are/act/think will be built on these beliefs making them seem incredibly difficult to challenge.

I think some people stay recovered because they have other 'abilities' that lend themselves to challenging these long held beliefs. That could be anything from a loving caring support network (which makes it 'safe' to try things differently) to a shift in circumstances (when in recovery) that takes priority and alters how we see things.

Link to comment

Thank you Roy and Gemma for yet more great advice.  I am realising more and more how important the cognitive aspect is, and how I have been a bit dismissive of it in the past and have focused solely on breaking the obsession/compulsion cycle, which of course makes relapse a strong possibility because the foundations which made it possible in the first place are still there. 

Link to comment

A therapist can be good but we need to transform into our own therapists. Beacuse of the fact that we are the ones who live with our brains 24 7.

I still have this feeling that this is your obsessions. I am afraid. Could you be more specific on how you think you need more CBT before you can fully recover?

Link to comment

Hi isthisreality,

I'm not having CBT and I'm not in therapy.  I do think the cognitive side is important to address (based on great advice I've received here) in order to prevent relapse. 

Edit: my interest in recovery is not an OCD obsession.  I'm not sure why it's coming across that way (although obviously it is).  

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
Link to comment

Hi gbg, another good thread up for discussion :yes:

These threads are very useful especially if you are seeing something as just black or white and nothing in between :( I like to learn from the new things other forum users think or act? I was seeing things just as black and white unfortunately :( but thanks to Roy, polar ,Gemma and yourself, i can now see there are other ways we can work through things and still reach the same outcome, but without the confrontation of every thought :yes:

Thank you all :yes:

Link to comment
1 hour ago, lostinme said:

Hi gbg, another good thread up for discussion :yes:

These threads are very useful especially if you are seeing something as just black or white and nothing in between :( I like to learn from the new things other forum users think or act? I was seeing things just as black and white unfortunately :( but thanks to Roy, polar ,Gemma and yourself, i can now see there are other ways we can work through things and still reach the same outcome, but without the confrontation of every thought :yes:

Thank you all :yes:

You're right this is a great thread, so much great input :):)

Link to comment

No the initial trigger was an intrusive thought caused by the Harvey Weinstein story.   My old fear of having committed a crime really reared its ugly head. I was consumed by this for a while and this then caused numerous other themes to emerge, as you know, some of which were linked to or at least affected by real life events.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
Link to comment

(slightly anxious about you asking that question if I'm honest!) :unsure: - because I have this fear that I don't have OCD at all, and really all my fears are based in reality, and that I was only diagnosed by the doctor because I led him down that path.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
Link to comment
8 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

(slightly anxious about you asking that question if I'm honest!) :unsure:

It's a trigger. You can't avoid triggers, it will only do that OCD creeps all over the place, it just grows and grows and grows, and you will end up not even using the internet. When i see the newsfeed and i read "rape" even if it is for a very short time. Only if i read the words "ra" do i get triggered. Massively triggered
It is really funny because i don't even see myself as an easily offended person, nowdays i can't even read the news.

 

this post will probably trigger you i am sorry in some sense. Because it will make you anxious but avoiding it will make you more anxious in the long run.. Well i hope ... i don't know...

Sorry

Edited by Isthisreality
Link to comment

Hi thisisreality, no you haven't triggered me don't worry.

Slightly in a tailspin now. :( - i do worry that some of the fears I've got can't be slotted into the typical OCD categories that you read in books.  So the fear that I committed a crime years ago I can see is like typical OCD.  But when you consider I already have all these serious fears about how I measure up as a person or how moral I am, it makes it seem less far-fetched, like maybe I have done awful things because TBh I wouldn't remember from that time in my life anyway.

Edit: so I have this worry that I have latched onto OCD all this time and this forum because it i a way of explaining potentially bad things which absolves me of blame.  So say if I have committed a crime in the past, and then I join a forum which gives OCD as an explanation, then maybe I've jumped on that wagon because it's a way of me not facing up to things that I should face up  to and instead hide behind this OCD label.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
Link to comment

It's hard when up is down and down is up. It is really bizarre.... But we need to fight. I am not really sure i ever understood the concept "bravery" but i think i do it now when i understand what one need to do to overcome this nightmare. 

All those OCD-thoughts comes with fear, you need to resolve the fear. A normal person will also get triggered by news about murder, rape and such. It's all bad things. But if the thought suddenly hits "i am a murderer" will that person just shake it off. Not sure if this is captain obvious or an actual advice.

Don't let it slip any longer. Recovery will be filled with compulsions, but as long as you do more right than bad. 

Edited by Isthisreality
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...