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In what way have real life events affected your OCD and mental health?

 

When I was a kid i always had "quirks", like arranging everything evenly, making sure that I always looked in a mirror when I passed one etc. None of these ever caused me any anxiety or problems.

 

When I was 21 I accidentally landed myself in a bad situation. I got out as soon as I realised what was going on. This experience was very traumatic for me and I had to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. It was the trigger for my intrusive thoughts and depression which I still have now. I feel extreme guilt about it, even though family, friends and doctors tell me that I'm being silly and overreacting. They told me that i never set out to do anything bad and that I got out when I realised what was happening. Nonetheless, I think about that day a lot, almost everyday. I feel awful about it.

 

I don't live in a very good area. Last summer I saw a man get stabbed and I've seen three dead bodies on the street in the last two years. There are people who I used to know but haven't spoken to in years in jail for some very serious crimes. But none of this bothers me. I feel desensitized.

 

I want more than anything to be normal and free of these thoughts. I have so much I want to do in life.

Edited by kirby42
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It's an interesting question.  In terms of OCD, I am not sure unless each of us are in that position we don't know how it would impact on us.  Equally, I am not totally sure such events should be a barrier to moving forward which sort of brings me to this that you wrote.

10 hours ago, kirby42 said:

I want more than anything to be normal and free of these thoughts. I have so much I want to do in life.

That's a positive having a goals in life, things to aim for, that in itself can be helpful to start challenging OCD if we have something to aim for. But you mentioned you want to be free of the thoughts, what can you/we all do to start achieving that?

(technically OCD recovery is not so much getting rid of the thoughts, but how we deal/respond to those thoughts, get that right and we can have the thoughts now and then but full freedom).

 

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I have been through some pretty tough real life events. 

One of my OCD themes was a fear of medical situations, due to risk of contamination. It was so severe I could not step foot in a doctor's never mind even consider going near a hospital.

I was suicidal and did not want to live. My OCD was extreme and I was very depressed.

A few years ago I had serious organ failure which landed me in intensive care. I was given 4 weeks to live. I almost died at one point and had to be resusitated. I had to face dying. By some miracle I survived. I learnt that life is precious and when faced with it I did not want to die. I also learnt life was too short to worry about what ifs. I put everything into therapy, I wanted to live life as I had been given a second chance, not just about survive.

Last year I got cancer. My worst OCD fear came true. I found a lump due to obsessive checking, which I was working on. I caught it early, so it saved my life. I went through two major surgeries, which I could not of done without facing my hospital fears. I learnt that if something is going to happen it will, which has helped with my therapy.

In a weird way, the above has helped me become a stronger person. 

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20 minutes ago, Ashley said:

technically OCD recovery is not so much getting rid of the thoughts, but how we deal/respond to those thoughts, get that right and we can have the thoughts now and then but full freedom.

This is key to dealing with real life events too.

It's not (just) the event itself that causes problems, but the meaning we gave it at the time and how we continue to think about it - the meaning we give it in the present. 

The meaning can be changed using cognitive therapy, and when this happens the feelings, fears, and reactions to thinking about it (remembering) change too.

An event which once seemed destructive and destined to always set off OCD symptoms (maladaptive coping) can become life-changing in a positive way (adaptive coping.)

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I have many life events than i have memories around it . i need to figure out what really happened but then do i have real events, and i have this thinking that i am destroyed because of the events. 

I have in some bad periods been ready to give up everything to live my life again to avoid every bad memory. It is really obsessive and i can ruminate for weeks. It is impossible to start over so i started to think about therapy and than especially psychodynamic therapy. I thought that i needed as many years as i have lived to analyse all my years. But then when i am down with x+x will i need to analyze the time i analyzed. and it just goes on and on.

It is tricky kirby42 but we have to remember that OCD will latch on to everything!

 

 

10 minutes ago, snowbear said:

t. 

The meaning can be changed using cognitive therapy, and when this happens the feelings, fears, and reactions to thinking about it (remembering) change too.

An event which once seemed destructive and destined to always set off OCD symptoms (maladaptive coping) can become life-changing in a positive way (

 

Edited by Isthisreality
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Hi it's Michele. I feel so very sorry for you as I feel in Much same situation. Can't stop arranging organising n cleaning. Constantly in my mind n don't know what to do? I'm on waiting list on s.w dept for support. A waiting game.! On waiting list for CBT. Another waiting game.! Do u feel like that too? I have a 'very unsupportive partner.n often feel suicidal too because of my illness n him not helping me?! With him It's all him him him.! What he wants and needs? I often think I don't exist.! Have u had any help yet with u r OCD - has it helped? I wish u all the very best for your recovery. As this I'm sure u would agree is a nightmare.! Take care  Michele.

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8 minutes ago, Isthisreality said:

i need to figure out what really happened

Actually, no, you don't. :no: You only need to look at how you currently view it and what impact this viewpoint is having on your life today. Change the way you classify/think about the event in the present and you don't need to do any psychological work on the actual event from the past.

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i have this thinking that i am destroyed because of the events. 

This has become a bigger problem for you than the original events. This attitude/belief is where you should focus your cognitive therapy. 

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 It is impossible to start over

Do you mean it's impossible to turn the clock back? Yes, it is. But it's not impossible to start over. That option remains open to you with every new day that dawns until the day you die. 

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so i started to think about therapy and than especially psychodynamic therapy. 

Wrong direction. :no: Go for cognitive behavioural therapy. Sort the way you think about these events and how you respond to them behaviourally. This will move you forward in a functional, practical way that allows you to live freely. Psychodynamic therapy will give you great insight into why you are as you are, but after it ends then you have to begin the CBT work.

Save yourself a lot of wasted time and do the CBT work from the outset. You'll gain the same insights just by going through the CBT process. Faster route to the same end result. :) 

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Hi Kirby, sorry to hear you are struggling with this at the moment :( 

We had the very same discussion in chat last night regarding true life events and how to deal with them. 

I think both Ashley and snow are spot on with their advice that we can’t stop the thoughts but we can change the way we react and respond to them. 

I personally have had some traumatic events in my life which have inadvertently affected my OCD and my behaviours towards it too. 

I think I need to deal with these too, to help me on my road to recovery:yes: 

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1 minute ago, snowbear said:

Actually, no, you don't. :no: You only need to look at how you currently view it and what impact this viewpoint is having on your life today. Change the way you classify/think about the event in the present and you don't need to do any psychological work on the actual event from the past.

This has become a bigger problem for you than the original events. This attitude/belief is where you should focus your cognitive therapy. 

Do you mean it's impossible to turn the clock back? Yes, it is. But it's not impossible to start over. That option remains open to you with every new day that dawns until the day you die. 

Wrong direction. :no: Go for cognitive behavioural therapy. Sort the way you think about these events and how you respond to them behaviourally. This will move you forward in a functional, practical way that allows you to live freely. Psychodynamic therapy will give you great insight into why you are as you are, but after it ends then you have to begin the CBT work.

Save yourself a lot of wasted time and do the CBT work from the outset. You'll gain the same insights just by going through the CBT process. Faster route to the same end result. :) 

I know or i kinda know because i am still not  yets o cocky against my OCD that i just can laugh at it. 

I am advocating CBT and ERP, i actually started to dislike Freud very much for what he has done to psychology, which is not healthy and it is probably my OCD. 

I just wanted to share my thoughts so maybe someone can relate because i really thinks there is not enought talked about past OCD. I see false memory and such as rumination about the past, and other themes are more about the future. 
But thanks!

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Hi Kirby. Interesting comment about feeling desensitised to violence on the street. I posted a few weeks ago about being in proximity to a knife fight on public transport and for a period I was checking my fellow passengers. A few years back my checking behaviours were not helped by a series of burglaries on the street. Two of them quite violent.

I think that it is undeniable that a high level of violence can cause a variety of forms of mental ill health. It certainly appears to be the case in war torn communities. And in certain areas and at certain times you need to be aware of crime risks. It is a matter of not allowing it to preoccupy you.

But your distress relates to a past event which others have dismissed as unimportant.  And I think that as mentioned cognitive therapy might help especially as compassion based therapy has been incorporated into CBT for OCD. I wish I had it when I had therapy!

Edited by Angst
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