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I’m a terrible person :(


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Hi if you’ve read my other posts I’m sure you’ll know I have worries about actions I’ve all ready done etc I was in the shop the other month and my friends kid was in his buggy and his hand was sticking out of the pram and I had the thought if I stayed bent over because I was bending over looking at flowers that what if his hand brushed across my bum, and I stayed bent over for a few seconds and I’ve been wondering like crazy wether I’ve done this on purpose. Now today a kid was walking past me and I had this sort of impulse to jut my hip out, and now I’m wondering if all the other actions I did were because of similar impulses and if so I’m a terrible person etc is this OCD to think, do an action then ruminate am I making sense? Please help!! 

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Normal, every day OCD. No one else would have thought about it. If your butt is sticking out, so what? 

The difference is you got an intrusive thought right at that time. No matter what you did your mind was going to say you did wrong. You didn't move fast enough.

Get a handle on your ruminating. You are sitting there going over this in your head. It's a compulsion and needs to stop.

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Thanks for responding, it’s just sometimes I get the thoughts before the actual action but it’s never big things just little things. I don’t know if the OCD is coming up with the thought after and making me think it’s before or what. Just a new turn for me in OCD I’ve done so well with it and it feels like a set back and that this is all there is. Thank you. 

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I picked my friends child up and her legs were apart and her nappy rubbed on my leg and I was convinced I done it purposely honestly OCD makes us think we are bad people and it is so convincing 

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That worrying about being bad is typical OCD - my response - 'everyone is bad' - and that's not so bad - it's just being human. Needing to be 'good' will just get you into more trouble. Don't tarry with it. 

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I’m a terrible person :(

We have to start to stop speaking about ourselves in this way and change it to "I have OCD and have just had a thought that has troubled me"

The internal dialogue, the language we use and the things we say to ourselves do have an impact on how we continue to feel.  This sort of self-loathing statement is a form of compulsion as in "As long as I hate myself, as long as I appreciate I'm a terrible person, it makes me aware that I am and therefore a bit safer" (or similar)  Try not to use these sort of statements against yourself :) 

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