BelAnna Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Hello, As the title really- when you imagine your future how does it look? Will your OCD get better/worse/stay the same? Will you be free to pursue your goals or stay stuck with mental health issues? Link to comment
snowbear Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 40 minutes ago, BelAnna said: Will you be free to pursue your goals or stay stuck with mental health issues? Must these options be mutually exclusive? Link to comment
taurean Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I think joining this community can be the start of learning to overcome one's OCD difficulties, in which case the future will not be affected adversely by them. I and various others of us, and of course the charity workers themselves, spend time here seeking to guide people along that path. Link to comment
daja Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I would like to own my own house... and get to a Southern Europe a bit more often... Link to comment
kirby42 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Ohhh I have lots of plans. I don't think I'm going to be suffering from this forever. I'm going to go back to uni, find a nice paying job, get married, have kids, live in a nice apartment, continue doing sports and learning languages, watch football with my friends on Saturdays. Those are all my plans for now! Link to comment
taurean Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 That's good Kirby, excellent stuff. For me, finding this place is a massive boost for people wanting to overcome their OCD troubles and build a new life Here we don't just talk the talk, we encourage people to go walk the walk Link to comment
daja Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Good you sound so positive Kirby. Link to comment
taurean Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 What sort of home will you be buying daja? Link to comment
daja Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 8 minutes ago, taurean said: What sort of home will you be buying daja? Hopefully a two bedroom terrace. Link to comment
BelAnna Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 (edited) Yes, that's great Taurean, the forum can be a fantastic resource. Sorry Snowbear, I wasn't at all clear about what I meant; I didn't mean that the only way for us each to have a fulfilling life is if we fully recover from our mental health issues. It's just that this is something I am working on in therapy because when I imagine my future I do tend to imagine myself AS constrained (so 'stuck') by my mental health issues as I am at the moment AND my Psychologist has asked me to imagine an alternative, positive future. I keep imaging that in the future I could end up living with my parents or in supported housing (if they pass away young) well into my 30s or 40s, morbidly obese, single, with no degree, no job and severe depression. In my positive future vision I'm living in a flat/house with a partner/husband, one or two children, a career, hobbies, friends and a happy outlook on life! Kirby- that sounds good, what are you going back to study? Daja, the house plan sounds good too! Edited March 24, 2018 by BelAnna Link to comment
Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 I have a similarly pessimistic view of the future. In fact, minus the morbidly obese part, your imagined future could be mine! Link to comment
robbiec87 Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Think I'd bring the mood down if I was honest about how I view my future. Well done to those who are optimistic though. Link to comment
BelAnna Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 11 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said: I have a similarly pessimistic view of the future. In fact, minus the morbidly obese part, your imagined future could be mine! 8 hours ago, robbiec87 said: Think I'd bring the mood down if I was honest about how I view my future. Well done to those who are optimistic though. Hi Lost and Robbie, that's exactly the point really- envisaging a positive future can help us to feel motivated to overcome our current problems so that's why my Counselling Psychologist has suggested taking a more positive approach! Link to comment
snowbear Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 29 minutes ago, BelAnna said: envisaging a positive future can help us to feel motivated to overcome our current problems so that's why my Counselling Psychologist has suggested taking a more positive approach! Actually it does more than just motivate you, picturing yourself living in a positive future helps to switch your brain from looking inwards (which encourages rumination) to looking outwards (which lifts mood, boosts confidence and aids rational thinking.) On 24/03/2018 at 01:55, BelAnna said: my Psychologist has asked me to imagine an alternative, positive future. Another good exercise is to break this into time segments. Imagine a positive today, a positive next week, next year, next five years and then picture your long term aspirations and dreams. This makes it seem real and achievable instead of envisaging years more misery before some happy but distant 'final goal'. Link to comment
taurean Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 (edited) In my 20s I shared a big old house with friends. It didn't cost much to live there, I was single and didn't earn much but enjoyed my work and had a reasonable social life. OCD played up only occasionally - I think being busy workwise and socially helped - partly proved by it tending to hit me when I took a holiday. I lived each day at a time. I expected there would come a time when that lifestyle needed to change and I needed to settle down, look to buy a property. But I was content to wait till that time came. It came when I was 28. I knew I had occasional anxiety problems and some obsessive thinking, but I just accepted that and did not let it hold me back from building confidence to date girls until Miss Right announced herself. Whatever difficulties we have encountered on our journey - she with medical phobias me with OCD - we have stayed anchored in the present planning for the future but not concerned about it. We have been together 37 years and are now in our fourth owned home, our retirement home in an area we like. Putting pressure on ourselves never seems like a good idea. Finding help with our mental health is ; believing what we are told in therapy and putting the necessary behavioural changes into practice is achievable. Stopping worrying about the future and looking to make changes to achieve sensible achievable goals is also good. Edited March 28, 2018 by taurean amendment Link to comment
Angst Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Hi BelAnna. Having plans involves implementation - a step by step progression to achieve a goal. This is a common strategy in therapy no matter the type of psychotherapy. I agree with Snowbear having positive goals which can be subdivided into sub - targets can motivate behaviour and energise. It is like doing CBT, or becoming qualified to do a job or building a deposit for a mortgage. Even with mental health difficulties you can achieve targets. The secret is doing the things which can achieve the target. The action in itself will reduce the time for negative introspection. Link to comment
taurean Posted April 1, 2018 Share Posted April 1, 2018 (edited) My wife and I attended the Paralympics games London 2012. We spent a Friday evening in the incredible architecture of the Aquatics centre, watching finals. And on Sunday we went to what is known otherwise than the Olympics as the 02, the former Millennium Dome, watching women's wheelchair basketball. There were people swimming with all sorts of categorised disabilities - the classification seeks to pit people of similar capability together. Some had no arms, some no legs. Yet these people were proud Olympians, representing their countries, living their dream. We can wallow in our difficulties, consider we are handicapped mentally and not overcome our OCD. Or, looking at those athletes, we can ignore any perception of boundaries and - in the self-same arena as the able-bodied athletes - we can fulfill our dreams. It's all about belief, and attitude. Those Paralympians are amazing - they ignore obstacles, they simply walk through them. We who take on board acceptance that we have an illness called OCD, learn how it works and how to challenge and beat it, then put that into practice have no need to think failure. We can think triumph over adversity; and we can make bright plans for the future. Edited April 1, 2018 by taurean corrections Link to comment
bruces Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 Makes me feel even more guilty when I see people with worse disabilities Link to comment
snowbear Posted April 2, 2018 Share Posted April 2, 2018 3 hours ago, bruces said: Makes me feel even more guilty when I see people with worse disabilities Bruce, if you don't start to fight this habit of interpreting everything you come across as a reason to feel guilty your future is going to be bleak. Allow yourself to be inspired now and then. Acknowledge that there is good in the world. Shift that habit of negative thinking! Link to comment
BelAnna Posted April 3, 2018 Author Share Posted April 3, 2018 17 hours ago, bruces said: Makes me feel even more guilty when I see people with worse disabilities Are they worse disabilities or just different? Perhaps those people were taught how to be resilient and positive as young children or inspired by other people to be so- it's not your fault that you might not quite have mastered your disability in the way that some amputee paralympians have mastered theirs! We are all the result of experiences and situations, some of which are outside of our control. You do however have the ability to change your outlook today- to see other people's triumphs as inspiring rather than comparing yourself and feeling inadequate (I say this having done the same thing myself and with a similar tendency towards pessimism!). On 01/04/2018 at 20:26, taurean said: My wife and I attended the Paralympics games London 2012. We spent a Friday evening in the incredible architecture of the Aquatics centre, watching finals. And on Sunday we went to what is known otherwise than the Olympics as the 02, the former Millennium Dome, watching women's wheelchair basketball. There were people swimming with all sorts of categorised disabilities - the classification seeks to pit people of similar capability together. Some had no arms, some no legs. Yet these people were proud Olympians, representing their countries, living their dream. We can wallow in our difficulties, consider we are handicapped mentally and not overcome our OCD. Or, looking at those athletes, we can ignore any perception of boundaries and - in the self-same arena as the able-bodied athletes - we can fulfill our dreams. It's all about belief, and attitude. Those Paralympians are amazing - they ignore obstacles, they simply walk through them. We who take on board acceptance that we have an illness called OCD, learn how it works and how to challenge and beat it, then put that into practice have no need to think failure. We can think triumph over adversity; and we can make bright plans for the future. Thanks Taurean, that's really inspiring. Link to comment
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