Please don't lock my thread. I really need help from you.

[lily17]

Last night I was laying on my side watching ASMR to relax and I was randomly sexual aroused and I had a thought to strongly close my eyes thinking of my grandma, like an urge and I did it with bad intention I wanted to feel aroused thinking of her but I'm not attracted to her which doesn't make sense. Can anyone help me out? I would really appreciate it, PLEASE 

Edited April 5, 2018 by lily17

[Wonderer]

Lily, seriously? What more do u want people to say, this post is just identical to all ur other posts? I know it’s hard but there’s nothing new for us to add to this, u need to grit ur teeth and accept the OCD.x

[lily17]

5 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

Lily, seriously? What more do u want people to say, this post is just identical to all ur other posts? I know it’s hard but there’s nothing new for us to add to this, u need to grit ur teeth and accept the OCD.x

There is no OCD here, how could it make me wanna do something and then I do it and like it... 

[taurean]

Because that is how it works Lily. The forum history is full of posts like this from other sufferers. 

It's time for you to believe all the advice you have been given. From people who understand OCD. When you get an intrusion and a compulsive urge stop,  see it for what we say it is, and don't enter into your compulsions of ruminating, checking  testing. 

By ruling out gradually these compulsions, and stopping giving belief to the thoughts, you will start the process everyone uses in order to get better. 

Be strong and determine to do this. 

Edited April 5, 2018 by taurean

[lily17]

10 minutes ago, taurean said:

Because that is how it works Lily. The forum history is full of posts like this from other sufferers. 

It's time for you to believe all the advice you have been given. From people who understand OCD. When you get an intrusion and a compulsive urge stop,  see it for what we say it is, and don't enter into your compulsions of ruminating, checking  testing. 

By ruling out gradually these compulsions, and stopping giving belief to the thoughts, you will start the process everyone uses in order to get better. 

Be strong and determine to do this. 

Thank you so much!!! ???

[Isthisreality]

31 minutes ago, lily17 said:

Thank you so much!!! ???

Yes thanks... you got relieve. Which is really bad. I am pretty sure this thread is 100% reassuranceseeking and no it doesnt matter how you put the question or even say it is not. 

Have limits on yourself or you will go long distances to get that reassurance2

 

Edited April 5, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Wonderer]

But if u took a step back and realised that u literally ran to the forum to spill out another compulsive post then u would see the OCD, but u have already been told a million times ur posts are compulsions, you’ve been told to stop the compulsions yet here u are doing it all over again...x

[Isthisreality]

I agree that is not what the forum should be about. It is a OCD-forum but that doesn't mean it should be used in the same fawlty way as our OCD tells us. 

AND it is really bad when one tells oneself things to get that reassurance, i did it, everybody do it. The bad thing is that by making it seems like it is not OCD to get that relieve do you ingrain it even more.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Isthisreality

[St Mike]

Come on Lily, you can do better.

Compulsive posting for reassurance isn't the answer.

[kaheath80]

I always wonder (and it’s maybe a rhetorical question as I’ve asked for reassurance here in the past!) why you (in general, not you specifically) would post these things in an OCD forum if you’re sure it’s not OCD?

Is it because deep down we know it is OCD?

[Isthisreality]

1 hour ago, kaheath80 said:

I always wonder (and it’s maybe a rhetorical question as I’ve asked for reassurance here in the past!) why you (in general, not you specifically) would post these things in an OCD forum if you’re sure it’s not OCD?

Is it because deep down we know it is OCD?

That is Aly Greymond's approach. And she knows what you need to know to recover. 

HOWEVER i would slightly disagree because one with OCD will just twist that truth. But yes it is true

 

But i really reaaaaaally dislike when we twist the questions and even say that we promise it is not OCD. We need to stop ourself from manipulating others to get the reassurance. It is hard but we need to have that respect to ourself and others.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Caramoole]

I think Lily is screaming out in fear and anxiety because she's in the grip of intrusive thoughts.  She says it's not OCD like thousands before her have done and will continue to do, she's not Unusual in that.

However Lily, you aren't using any of the advice to help yourself.  Everytime you get a new thought you're capitulating and running to the forum to write it down and get reassurance, thus won't help you.  

Every thread is taken on it's own merit but if they are just a continuation of harmful practises we will close them

[kaheath80]

I totally agree and I didn’t think it was unusual, I just wonder why many (including me!) insist things aren’t OCD but then post about them on an OCD forum. It’s just something I’m curious about.

But I don’t mean to hijack a thread, so i’ll stop now. I guess I’m just thinking if we post here as deep down we know it IS OCD, then maybe we can try and believe in that small part of us deep down.

Edited April 5, 2018 by kaheath80

[Caramoole]

What they're really saying is  they haven't got the certainty they crave, it feels so real, it must be real......even though they've been told it's OCD (hence they're here) they doubt it so much and fear that they must be a monster.  It's lack of having certainty and a need for reassurance.

[orange]

Can you try to sit with what is bothering you and see how your anxiety levels come down? They will but at first that's hard to believe but they will. And then post as you are starting to feel better if you want. Maybe you can talk about how your fear is a tiny bit less? Good luck!

[Orwell1984]

20 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

Yes thanks... you got relieve. Which is really bad. I am pretty sure this thread is 100% reassuranceseeking and no it doesnt matter how you put the question or even say it is not. 

Have limits on yourself or you will go long distances to get that reassurance2

 

Sorry to interject, but you (isthisreality) are a troll. Your input just serves to annoy people whether they have OCD or not and personally I think you are quite harmful to the people on this forum. 

[gingerbreadgirl]

3 minutes ago, Orwell1984 said:

Sorry to interject, but you (isthisreality) are a troll. Your input just serves to annoy people whether they have OCD or not and personally I think you are quite harmful to the people on this forum. 

I think isthisreality is trying to help, albeit in sometimes an abrasive manner - I don't honestly think he/she is trying to troll anyone. 

[Isthisreality]

3 hours ago, Orwell1984 said:

Sorry to interject, but you (isthisreality) are a troll. Your input just serves to annoy people whether they have OCD or not and personally I think you are quite harmful to the people on this forum. 

How am i harmful?

My intention is to help people by being honest and direct. It is good that you find what i say disturbing. It is your OCD resisting. I won't sugarcoat things. That is what i suspect is going on. You may get a luttle bit distressed by the methods i am suggesting.

But i need to hear how i am harmful. Because it is pretty rude. And it goes against my intent, it is my only intent - to make people recover.

I am going to donate this summer. I am pretty much broke now so wont happen now. Dead broke

I would HIGHLY appreciate if you could point out if my tips could hurt someones recovery. I prefer being direct everyday in the week before being nice to the ocd's tyranny. 

But i take some offence in what you are saying when you say i am harmful. I dont care if you think i come across as blunt or rough against OCD. That is a good thing. And i try to be rough against myself and my own OCD. 

 

Edited April 6, 2018 by Isthisreality

[gingerbreadgirl]

48 minutes ago, Isthisreality said:

 It is good that you find what i say disturbing. It is your OCD resisting.

 

I think maybe this sort of thing is the kind of thing people find grating.  This is an OCD forum, yes, but not everything everyone says is down to OCD and to suggest it is strips people of their agency - you often imply that the only reason someone could have for disagreeing with you is mental illness. People can ask questions or disagree with somebody else and it isn't necessarily "OCD speaking" (although sometimes it is).  When you refuse to acknowledge there is a person as well as OCD - even if that person is wrong - I think it can make people resistant to your advice (even if it is correct, which often it is). There are ways and means of saying things.  I am not against bluntness and I can be blunt myself. I've also benefited many times from other people being blunt with me.

I'm sure you will respond by saying I am arguing with OCD etc. etc.

Edited April 6, 2018 by gingerbreadgirl

[Isthisreality]

27 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I think maybe this sort of thing is the kind of thing people find grating.  This is an OCD forum, yes, but not everything everyone says is down to OCD and to suggest it is strips people of their agency - you often imply that the only reason someone could have for disagreeing with you is mental illness. People can ask questions or disagree with somebody else and it isn't necessarily 0"OCD speaking" (although sometimes it is).  When you refuse to acknowledge there is a person as well as OCD - even if that person is wrong - I think it can make people resistant to your advice (even if it is correct, which often it is). There are ways and means of saying things.  I am not against bluntness and I can be blunt myself.

I'm sure you will respond by saying I am arguing with OCD etc. etc.

That was clearly put. 

There are two levels here. As i see it

1. 

I usually think people are to stuck up in this notion about separating OCD and themselves. OCD is a part of the brain. It is true that there are people behind the OCD, i don't like to put it this way really, because OCD are our brains. What one is saying really is that we are more than our OCD. Yes we are. And YES we will be pretty changed tomorrow if we do the work. We we will be our old selves. BUT there is only the now - and now do we engage in OCD so we are OCD to some extent.

 

2. (I hate to do this) but i think you are coloured by your own feelings in this matter. 

 

My priority is to make people recover. And i am currently in a stage of some power against the OCD so i have wrote pretty bluntly the last days. But i always try to adjust the message  if it is a new person do i write in a more explanatory way. But if it is a person who is writing the same thing for the tenth time* do i just give advice of what to do.

I had to type this out on the phone because i got triggered, so sorry if it is unclear.

Edited April 6, 2018 by Isthisreality

[gingerbreadgirl]

26 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I'm sure you will respond by saying I am arguing with OCD etc. etc.

 

1 minute ago, Isthisreality said:

 i think you are coloured by your own feelings in this matter. 

Honestly I get what you're saying but *I* can still think for myself despite having OCD.  The way you sometimes speak to me and others is very minimising. Honestly I think you have a very simpistic view of OCD and mental health in general.  That is just my opinion and you have yours.  But I think there is a lot of knowledge on this forum which you are very dismissive of. 

[Isthisreality]

I think the recovery in OCD NEEDS to be simplistic. 

I have argued with OCD 20 years didn't got me anywhere. 

As i see it is the amygdala getting involved when we engage in the thoughts. By not engaging do we break that connection. And we end up being recovered.

OCD is a gift to have if you "need to have a mental disorder" because it is pretty straightforward. 

 

 

I WOULD ALSO like to say that i did a concious decision when i started engaging here to take a theraphist wiev and not arguing ao much of how and why. Which i did above. One can argue til he/she die about the reasons behind and why and such things. And yes it is really intresting to do so BUT when one is in a place of hammerig from the OCD are all things unimportant!!

Edited April 6, 2018 by Isthisreality

[gingerbreadgirl]

12 minutes ago, Isthisreality said:

I think the recovery in OCD NEEDS to be simplistic.

Your view is that it is a matter of doing ERP and disengaging, which I agree is really important.  But you don't seem to think there is a "C" in CBT at all. 

I am happy for people to be blunt with me and to be called out when I am engaging in compulsions or just wallowing.  But nobody knows it all, even experts are still learning.  I am certainly still learning.  And I do think you have an overly simplistic view of recovery and you come across as if you know better than anyone else, and if they disagree it's just their OCD talking  - that attitude is inflammatory whether or not you want it to be.  I know you have read the likes of Ali Greymond and think she has all the answers, but she doesn't. 

Anyway I don't want to get into further debate with you, I appreciate your intentions are good but I just wanted to explain my take on why Orwell may or may not have said what she said. 

Edited April 6, 2018 by gingerbreadgirl

[Isthisreality]

 

17 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Your view is that it is a matter of doing ERP and disengaging, which I agree is really important.  But you don't seem to think there is a "C" in CBT at all. 

I am happy for people to be blunt with me and to be called out when I am engaging in compulsions or just wallowing.  But nobody knows it all, even experts are still learning.  I am certainly still learning.  And I do think you have an overly simplistic view of recovery and you come across as if you know better than anyone else, and if they disagree it's just their OCD talking- - that attitude is inflammatory whether or not you want it to be.  I know you have read the likes of Ali Greymond and think she has all the answers, but she doesn't. 

Anyway I don't want to get into further debate with you, I appreciate your intentions are good but I just wanted to explain my take on why Orwell may or may not have said what she said. 

I understand that. And appreciate that you explained your take on it.

I shouldn't have wrote that way about Ali Greymond. It come across as not so serious. But the fact is that she is my only idol in life, because she is the first person i came across which described false memories to me (and also after that do i find that nobody really explains OCD as clearly as she does). And i highly admire her for what she do. 

I do accept CBT. I think the thing is that i take other things beside ERP, (the C, CBT) as so obvious so i may come across as dimissive to CBT. But i also see this theme (and it is common) that people with OCD takes CBT as cover to keep on engaging in OCD. 

But when it comes to OCD is the important thing to cut out compulsions and ERP seems to do that in a magical way if one DO THE WORK. BUT (and this is very important) sometimes do someone need to take babystep, when someone is in a state of total panic do that person not need to cut out all compulsions, because that is unrealistic,  that person needs to cut back on the compulsions.

This is how i see CBT and ERP. https://img.tutpad.com/tut/0/131/december-14.jpg (ignore the square, lol)

Edited April 6, 2018 by Isthisreality

[gingerbreadgirl]

4 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

 

I understand that. And appreciate that you explained your take on it.

I shouldn't have wrote that way about Ali Greymond. It come across as not so serious. But the fact is that she is my only idol in life, because she is the first person i came across which described false memories to me (and also after that do i find that nobody really explains OCD as clearly as she does). And i highly admire her for what she do. 

I do accept CBT. I think the thing is that i take other things beside ERP, (the C, CBT) as so obvious so i may come across as dimissive to CBT. But i also see this theme (and it is common) that people with OCD takes CBT as cover to keep on engaging in OCD. 

But when it comes to OCD is the important thing to cut out compulsions and ERP seems to do that in a magical way if one DO THE WORK. BUT (and this is very important) sometimes do someone need to take babystep, when someone is in a state of total panic do that person not need to cut out all compulsions, because that is unrealistic,  that person needs to cut back on the compulsions.

This is how i see CBT and ERP. https://img.tutpad.com/tut/0/131/december-14.jpg (ignore the square, lol)

Fair enough, I see what you're saying