FantasyNerd98 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, PolarBear said: You can forgive yourself of anything if you choose to do so. Your number one problem, like so many others, is that you ruminate cinstantly over this. It's always top of mind, where it bothers you and makes you feel guilty. That is something you can learn to change, if you choose to do so. If you raped somebody you could forgive yourself... but it would be a bad thing to do beacuse rape is Horrible.... I can forgive myself... but do i deserve to forgive myself ? I know i havent raped anybody but you know what i mean.. Edited April 12, 2018 by FantasyNerd98 Link to comment
FantasyNerd98 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 No... i wont steal this thread... im sorry... im gonna go away now... The only thing im doing right now is looking for reasurrance Link to comment
PolarBear Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, FantasyNerd98 said: If you raped somebody you could forgive yourself... but it would be a bad thing to do beacuse rape is Horrible.... I can forgive myself... but do i deserve to forgive myself ? Only you can decide that but it is a choice. I've seen murderers forgive themselves. Right now you think what you did was the worst possible thing in the world you could do. You are wrong. Your thinking is skewed because your disorder has latched onto that event and blown its importance all out of proportion. You make it worse by doing compulsions. Edited April 12, 2018 by PolarBear Link to comment
FantasyNerd98 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 1 minute ago, PolarBear said: Only you can decide that but it is a choice. I've seen murderers forgive themselves. Right now you think what you did was the worst possible thing in the world you could do. You are wrong. Your thinking is skewed because your disorder has latched onto that event and blown its importance all out of proportion. You make it worse by doing compulsions. I tried resisting compulsions but that ended up with cutting myself pretty bad and almost attempting suicide by jumping... How am i supposed to resist..... Link to comment
FantasyNerd98 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Im not a pedo for ***** sakes...... I love Tall heavy women...... i never think about children..... I should never have watched that news report... ... Link to comment
PolarBear Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Stopping compulsions is one part of what you learn in CBT. You've lost your perspective. You need to talk to someone, a therapist, to regain some balance. Link to comment
ThreeTimesGuy Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 (edited) We are human beings with fetishes, attractions, distractions, all kinds of sexuality and power play is just one of them. You're not a monster and you know that. Your moral code is perfectly intact and if it wasn't then you wouldn't give a jot and certainly wouldn't be posting on this or any other forum with concerns that hurt you. It's your OCD that is dictating this self-loathing. Not your sexual preferences which are normal, human and certainly not wicked. Know that it is OCD and know that you have a disorder that can be treated successfully if you engage with people who can help you and start to live a happy existence which you and me and everyone on here deserves. Stu. Edited April 12, 2018 by ThreeTimesGuy Sp. Mistake Link to comment
FantasyNerd98 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 6 minutes ago, ThreeTimesGuy said: We are human beings with fetishes, attractions, distractions, all kinds of sexuality and power play is just one of them. You're not a monster and you know that. Your moral code is perfectly intact and if it wasn't then you wouldn't give a jot and certainly wouldn't be posting on this or any other forum with concerns that hurt you. It's your OCD that is dictating this self-loathing. Not your sexual preferences which are normal, human and certainly not wicked. Know that it is OCD and know that you have a disorder that can be treated successfully if you engage with people who can help you and start to live a happy existence which you and me and everyone on here deserves. Stu. But i did acted on that... if i was normal then i would not masturbate to a woman attacking a KID.... Link to comment
ThreeTimesGuy Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Who gives a ****? Only you and why? Because you have an illness called OCD. The past is a foreign country and all that malarkey is the truth. Telling you to forget things is unhelpful and ridiculous reassurance TBH. Seek help and live your happy life and use those good looks and good personality to your benefit and be happy. You need help Fantasy Nerd, not self-hatred or reassurance. Seek it out. I recently joined MIND in Rushden and like yourself, I'm pessimistic about my OCD and getting treatment, but I walked out of my induction and breathed a sigh of relief that had been trapped inside for many years. There are some lovely, dedicated and qualified people who can help you understand that you are not this or that ugly character that you believe yourself to be. Polar Bear has told the one truth.....this is all unhelpful rumination. You need help, not penance or punishment, Please venture towards it. I wish you and me and everyone all the very best success in destroying this bloody illness. Stu. Link to comment
Ashley Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 12 hours ago, FantasyNerd98 said: Im posting here because i think that what i did was perverted and sicks but my friend just laugh and say its ok...... and i dont know who to trust and im conflicted... And i almost killed myself some weeks ago.... i dont know if i deserve it.... i know that i do and i know that i dont... cant explain it... 12 hours ago, FantasyNerd98 said: The only thing im doing right now is looking for reassurance I think that's right you are looking for reassurance, and I will give you that if that is what you want, but you need to be seeking more, you need to be seeking compassion for yourself and seeking pathways to access good quality OCD treatment (CBT) to help you move forward with your life. Link to comment
Ashley Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 12 hours ago, Running Lover said: Hi. I sent you s pm. Did you want to ask me something ? It’s so hard because it’s a theme that utterly repulses me ? I am not sure taking this discussion into PM is healthy. I am sure it was with the best of intentions, but the forum can't help if the discussion's gone into PM. The forum is here to try and help and we can only help when the discussion is visible. Link to comment
helen10937 Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) . Edited April 13, 2018 by helen10937 Link to comment
Zazoo Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) You have to realize your not the only one who regrets doing certain things like you did. You obviously have no inclination towards what you think you are and admitted as much. You need to sigh, realize that it was simply a bad decision and get on with your life. I was in a similar bad spot last year but I'm still alive so. Self-forgiveness is a hard to start but once you do, you will feel better. Cheers mate. p.S: Not sure if this falls under reassurance, if it does, my pardons. MOD NOTE (AF): Please do not try and bypass the swear filter or we will have to start deleting entire posts. Edited April 14, 2018 by Ashley Edited for trying to bypass swear filter Link to comment
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