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Trying to figure it out (narcissists/psychopaths)


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Soooo i have been feeling good lately but the last two days have i searched on the internet about narcissism and psychopathy, i have been obsessed, it also makes me paranoid, i can't stop analyzing if people around me are narcissists.

So i waked up today with panic, i have no idea why but i did, it is about a old friend of mine which i am not sure if he gave me trauma but he also had another person in his life which he was in conflict with, now i actually think that person could be a narcissist but it could also be my old friend was a narcissist and what if i was fooled. And then do i analyze if i am a narcissist. WELL it doesn't matter i won't write out all the thoughts i have because that would be confessing and it actually hurts to much to do so. 

I waked up with high anxiety and i didn't expect it and i feel like i am UNUSED to it the last week so it just took me by surprise. So i just went over and took a small dose of benzo. The fact that it is surprising and not so common with this high anxiety makes me take it more serious. I don't know if this makes sense.

I guess it is all because i have been doing the wrong thing those two days and i am obessing, but i don't feel like it is an obsession, i just get paranoid. Input would be appreciated! Btw i feel like i am paranoid about it and it makes me afraid i am sick (psychosis) and so on. 

Edited by Isthisreality
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No thoughts on this? 

I feel like i am getting paranoid of all my reasearching about the narcissism and psychopathy, i mean they are out there however today i got triggered about my past memories with this twist. By figuring out that relationship do i get more clearity in my own past relationship and also figure it out.

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You’ve lost sight of the wood for the trees. You have probably been friends with narcissists in the past. There are plenty of them. If you valued their friendship then you have nothing to worry about. If they treated you badly then presumably you have dropped them by now. 

One of my good friends is almost certainly a ‘narcissist’ - but she’s also good fun so I approach our friendship with that awareness and don’t rely on her to tend to my emotional needs. Trying to work out whether someone should be given a label of narcissist by you is pointless and I’m sure you’re aware is compulsive behaviour. 

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22 minutes ago, Franklin12 said:

You’ve lost sight of the wood for the trees. You have probably been friends with narcissists in the past. There are plenty of them. If you valued their friendship then you have nothing to worry about. If they treated you badly then presumably you have dropped them by now. 

One of my good friends is almost certainly a ‘narcissist’ - but she’s also good fun so I approach our friendship with that awareness and don’t rely on her to tend to my emotional needs. Trying to work out whether someone should be given a label of narcissist by you is pointless and I’m sure you’re aware is compulsive behaviour. 

Yes but you see there are some past memories i have which i am not certain of. AND if the person is a narcissist well then he had no empathy and the memories could be real. That is how i am thinking

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6 minutes ago, Franklin12 said:

What’s your actual fear?

My fear is that my memories are what they tell me they are. 

And i am also afraid of psychopaths and narcissists but this morning did i get this specific thought of him having diagnosis. It makes it more likely that my memories are real

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3 minutes ago, Franklin12 said:

Well I think you know what you have to do - is there a reason that you think it’s important to try to work this out that’s stopping you treating this as OCD?

My main fear is that i have traumas. And if you have trauma would you treat the trauma instead of the OCD. And with trauma comes being damaged, not to offend anyone but if you have trauma are you changed and it scares me. I don't want to be destroyed and such. 

 

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I don't know. This is pretty hardwired even if i only have had it a short period of time. I can't stop searching. WOW

And i get those memories now again, some are with guilt and some are with anger towards other. 

IT is just that those persons are so evil and there are even books out there that warns you about those people, you need to be aware of them. It is a real problem. So if i let my gard down... 

WELL. Thanks to you guys anyway

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5 minutes ago, Isthisreality said:

IT is just that those persons are so evil

I don't think psychopaths and narcissists are evil, they can't help being who they are.  I think they are people whose brains are wired in a certain way, or whose prior experiences have influenced their adult behaviour.  They behave in a way that makes sense according to them - their experiences and neural pathways and many other influences that make everyone way more complicated than just being "good" or "bad". I think you are adopting a black-and-white approach to this subject, and I think ruminating on it is doing you absolutely no favours.

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3 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I don't think psychopaths and narcissists are evil, they can't help being who they are.  I think they are people whose brains are wired in a certain way, or whose prior experiences have influenced their adult behaviour.  They behave in a way that makes sense according to them - their experiences and neural pathways and many other influences that make everyone way more complicated than just being "good" or "bad". I think you are adopting a black-and-white approach to this subject, and I think ruminating on it is doing you absolutely no favours.

Funny thing is that i agree with you 100%. They are their brains and they can't help it. However would you really not call a murderer evil? 

I am ruminating i can buy that. I am getting increasingly sad over the whole situation so i guess that is a sign i am ruminating. 

 

I am also analyzing myself ad if i have a diagnosis, here do it get really funny because i don't mind if i am one but i do mind. But if other people are do i mind less. It is a mess

Edited by Isthisreality
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I think actions can be evil.  But I think people are way too complicated and their actions are driven by so many factors, many of which are beyond their control, to be labelled in such a strong way. That is just my view though.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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No i won't write a wall of text... I need to get out and i  hope i can stop myself from analyzing people around me. I am even analyzing people who are driving by in their cars. But not today! fsfsdfdf 

 Could be psychosis too, i mean this is paranoia.

Edited by Isthisreality
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