Triggered

[don't know]

Hi everyone, hope everyone is doing well. 

Well, I'm back again. I just saw something on TV a couple of hours ago and I'm terrified. As you know I think I deal with sexual intrusive thoughts and this has triggered me. I feel like I'm trying to see if I'm like this person or not. I tried not to think of it and continued on with watching a film. However, all throughout the film I kept thinking about it and feeling uncomfortable about it. I think this triggered thoughts (what is a voluntary thought again?) I've spent an hour on OCD forums trying to see if it is only OCD. But, whilst trying to calm myself down I came across a post in which an OCD fear came true for that person. (Im sorry if I panicked anyone) I'm  concerned as I've been dealing with this for years and I have no anxiety so there would be no OCD there. i just hate this so much! Like you know I'm terrified I've been in denial about these being intrusive thoughts and that I'm using OCD as an excuse. I wish I didn't have to deal with this! 

Again, sorry for the ramble, I just needed someone to talk to.

[paradoxer]

With OCD life is a trigger. If it's not one thing it'll only be another. Use that insight into helping you remember that OCD is just a silly bully. Let the triggers come and go. They're not the problem.