Meet a toxic doctor.

[Isthisreality]

9 minutes ago, hedvig said:

More compulsions. What advice would you give me? 

I did a test with short videoclips (faces and situations) and i scored more closely to people with ASP than with neurotypicals. I feel like i have lived a lie my whole life, if i have autism do i feel like everything have changed. I am not what i thought i was. And the doctor said that i don't have OCD so why bother?

 

No but seriously i feel confused, conceded and hoplessness. And now did i start to cry.  

"conceded".. i have never used that word before but now will i start to obsess about all the feelings you can feel and name them. I don't want to stick out.. 

Edited April 21, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Lynz]

I don't think you can say that you have autism just by one test you did online. Only after an in-depth assessment by a doctor can you be diagnosed. Even then, diagnosing autism in adults is trickier than in children so I wouldn't take what the psychiatrist said seriously unless he did a thorough assessment of you.

Having said that though I agree with others that you mustn't let this develop into a new obsession. Stop taking online tests as they are meaningless and are no substitute for a proper assessment by a doctor. For example my friend is on the autism spectrum and he did some of those tests once for a laugh and all of them said he was highly neurotypical, which of course is not true at all.

[Isthisreality]

22 hours ago, Lynz said:

I don't think you can say that you have autism just by one test you did online. Only after an in-depth assessment by a doctor can you be diagnosed. Even then, diagnosing autism in adults is trickier than in children so I wouldn't take what the psychiatrist said seriously unless he did a thorough assessment of you.

Having said that though I agree with others that you mustn't let this develop into a new obsession. Stop taking online tests as they are meaningless and are no substitute for a proper assessment by a doctor. For example my friend is on the autism spectrum and he did some of those tests once for a laugh and all of them said he was highly neurotypical, which of course is not true at all.

Thanks. Next time i go to the psychologist will i sit straight as an arrow, take him in the hand with force and not doing tics. I am always moving on the chair and that can be autistic (a sign). I get massive anxiety so i started to even do more tics and i got clumpsy. 

I know that a serious doctor will do a deep investigation. It is just that i am so uncertain now, what exactly am i supposed to be if i am autistic? Should i judge based on my obsession, my interests, how i perceive others and their emotions, how i am functioning in life, how i look in the mirror? Like what exactly makes me autistic?

I don't know... When i am doing those tests where you answer yourself do i always get low results. 

When i do this test do i get results which says that i am neurotypical, to the left and upwards. Very very little on the right side and medium at the bottom. 

NOW, this test doesn't matter right? Because the foundation in autism is that you can't recognize feelings in other people, so what i am saying is that a test is not really important (where you selfreport)

Edited April 22, 2018 by snowbear
removed link

[Wonderer]

Hey, the foundation of autism is not “that you can’t recognise feelings in other people” that’s just not true because autism is a spectrum, my son is more sensitive and empathetic towards others and their feelings than anyone I know. As you know it is a spectrum disorder and some people may struggle with feelings etc but that’s not always the case, keep that in mind because those online tests are not accurate, and ur doing compulsions by doing those tests, just try and put it to one side as a bad doctors appointment and go and get a second opinion. Obsessing over wether or not ur autistic is just another thing OCD has latched on to!

[Isthisreality]

Thanks for all the replays, i guess this is my new theme. A new theme is BORNED! Omg, lol. 

I have been dizzy and unsteady since yesterday, i am more clumpsy than normally, anxiety often do that to me. But i see it as another sign of autism. Woooohoo. No, i will try to fend it off. Because now do i think about it the whole time, and i can't give it power to grow.

[Orwell1984]

Hi isthisreality, I'm so sorry on your behalf that this doctor has started a new OCD theme for you. I think you need to treat this as OCD and stop doing research and stop googling and stop taking online questionnaires because those will never alleviate the doubt and you can score high or low in similar questionnaires and be even more confused. At the moment, this will worsen your OCD and nothing is worth that. Do research however for a different consultant psych and different psychologist in case you discover this psychologist is not up to scratch too. You will have directions to turn in case they don't take you seriously. But most importantly stop googling, stop taking photos and comparing because this is just bad for the OCD.

 

If you have difficulties in understanding body language and this causes you distress, if you find it hard to keep and maintain friends, if lots of bright lights and lots of noise in an environment upset you and make you feel panicky or emotionally drained or if you get migraines a lot and just generally need to be on your own away from people to recover, then do see about getting an ASD assessment from specialists who deal solely with the ASD spectrum e.g. Autistic foundation.

If you don't, then even more reason to quit googling etc

Edited April 22, 2018 by Orwell1984

[Wonderer]

10 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

Thanks for all the replays, i guess this is my new theme. A new theme is BORNED! Omg, lol. 

I have been dizzy and unsteady since yesterday, i am more clumpsy than normally, anxiety often do that to me. But i see it as another sign of autism. Woooohoo. No, i will try to fend it off. Because now do i think about it the whole time, and i can't give it power to grow.

What makes you think autistic people get dizzy and unsteady? Lol they aren’t ill, autistic people just think a little differently from “neurotypical” people. 

The doctor didn’t start this new OCD theme, you started it by performing compulsions in response to something he said, you have the power to stop it as well so I’m glad u can recognise that you need to take the power away from it. X

[Isthisreality]

I really appreciate all the input in the matter. 

51 minutes ago, Orwell1984 said:

Hi isthisreality, I'm so sorry on your behalf that this doctor has started a new OCD theme for you. I think you need to treat this as OCD and stop doing research and stop googling and stop taking online questionnaires because those will never alleviate the doubt and you can score high or low in similar questionnaires and be even more confused. At the moment, this will worsen your OCD and nothing is worth that. Do research however for a different consultant psych and different psychologist in case you discover this psychologist is not up to scratch too. You will have directions to turn in case they don't take you seriously. But most importantly stop googling, stop taking photos and comparing because this is just bad for the OCD.

 

If you have difficulties in understanding body language and this causes you distress, if you find it hard to keep and maintain friends, if lots of bright lights and lots of noise in an environment upset you and make you feel panicky or emotionally drained or if you get migraines a lot and just generally need to be on your own away from people to recover, then do see about getting an ASD assessment from specialists who deal solely with the ASD spectrum e.g. Autistic foundation.

If you don't, then even more reason to quit googling etc

It really have started a new theme, that is the only thing i am certain off. I feel like my whole life have been a lie. how do other people really see me. Do i come across as the rainman (sorry if judgemental), everything is up and down. I have no stable ground anymore. 

You are right in everything you said. 

I don't think i have problem in my understanding with bodylanguage and other ways people express themself. I enjoy to watch movies and i  often prefer movies where the characters have intricate relationships. I don't know what this proves beside me not being a savant (extreme autist). 

I am introverted. I don't get migraines and i don't get exhausted, the doctor said "you can't go on like this" - he asked me if i had fulfilled things, i haven't because i have had crazy anxiety. So then did he say that "because you are getting exhausted". Well that is not true! I am getting exhausted when i am depressed, when i am happy do i want to do everything. 

When it comes to sound have i been afraid of loud sounds since i was 7. Before that did i use fuminating powder with friends, but then some day did i get scared of loud sounds because you can get deaf and get tinnitus. I actually got tinnitus. 

I am not afraid of lights normally, BUT i am worrying that i can hurt my retina, so i avoid UV, but it is because i am worried i will destroy my vision not because i dislike lights automatically. Well i don't like to be outside in the middle of the day in summer without sunglasses, but i am never using sunglasses, but i am ruminating about that i should. 

 

29 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

What makes you think autistic people get dizzy and unsteady? Lol they aren’t ill, autistic people just think a little differently from “neurotypical” people. 

The doctor didn’t start this new OCD theme, you started it by performing compulsions in response to something he said, you have the power to stop it as well so I’m glad u can recognise that you need to take the power away from it. X

I have been unsteady friday, yesterday and today (so far). It is like the ground is wobbling, my head is telling me: "look this is your autism". Because i judge how hard i apply pressure on things and how delicate i am, so because i am wobbling in my body do i judge myself when i put down a cup or something alike, too hard, a more extreme example is if i hit the door with my arm - that is a huge sign. Because i have read that people on the spectrum have some problems with motor activity. 

My head feels dull and i reevalute my whole life - it has all been a lie!

 

And once again thanks to everyone in the thread!

Edited April 22, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Isthisreality]

ENOUGH of this. I will stop. Now do i start to get back old obsessions, that indicates that i have been obsessing WAY TOO MUCH. 

Have a nice day everybody i am going out in the nice weather. 

Edited April 22, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Orwell1984]

1 hour ago, Isthisreality said:

ENOUGH of this. I will stop. Now do i start to get back old obsessions, that indicates that i have been obsessing WAY TOO MUCH. 

Have a nice day everybody i am going out in the nice weather. 

Good stuff. Anxiety over new obsession is just making you more body focused (somatic obsessions) and anxiety can make people clumsy (because they're distracted by thoughts and sensations). Your OCD is making you think clumsy=symptom of autism. Anxiety can make you believe anything.

 

Have a a good day. Weather is brill ?

Edited April 22, 2018 by Orwell1984

[Isthisreality]

I am sorry everyone! 

 

From the initial feeling of irritation and actually rage and a feeling of the world being turned up side down do i start to calm down. BUT there are some major thoughts i have. 

1. My whole life have been a lie, every compulsions i have had haven't been a compulsion and i haven't had any obsession (?). In any case do it turn out that evverything i labeled as OCD wasn't. I am devastated. 

2. How do people perceive me? Do i look like the rainman? Seriously... I have been taking like 300 photos of myself this holiday, need to see how people sees me.  

3. You guys say that you should search therapy and a doctors advice, i did that... and it turned out i don't have OCD. You guys often say that advices on the internet are inferior to real advices. This point is not meant to be manipulative. Something to throw out there to get a reaction. 

 

I really really struggle to see how i can let this issue rest before i atleast sees the psychologist in 1-2 months. And even then will i keep obsessing, what if he right out says "you are the most severe case of autism i have ever seen"? Or even if he says that i need an investigation to figure out if i have autism. I do realize i will keep on obsessing even after that point. I don't see how i ever could do an investigation. I don't want to know about my intelligence and i don't want to involve my parents. BY THE WAY, i am having doubts about if i should ask my parents how i was as a child. Would that be a compulsion? I have been looking at photos of myself as i child, i have compared my look to other people. 

Edited April 23, 2018 by Isthisreality

[gingerbreadgirl]

I think it is clear to every single person here that your doctor was a misinformed idiot.  You clearly have OCD.  Don't let this become another obsession x

[GreyCat]

I also think that you clearly have OCD. And I can understand that you're upset since we always think that doctors should be perfect. But well they are not, they are human beings as we are, which means they are also making mistakes, they have their egos, they can be misinformed.

[Angst]

A diagnosis is a tool which is supposed to helpful in that it should trigger the right therapeutic intervention. So it is understandable that you are concerned by the psychologists comments. But I don’t think that being put into a diagnostic category should constitute a person’s identity. So I would not say things like my whole life has been a  lie.

I know nothing about the Danish mental health system so I cannot comment on how you should react in the Danish context. But in the UK context I would ask for a second opinion either through the socialised NHS or the private sector. Apart from anything else the reliability of a mental health diagnosis is not that great. The same person being assessed by different mental health practitioners can be given different diagnoses. The best way to have an accurate diagnosis is to complete a very detailed validated questionnaire and have an in depth clinical interview.

Incidentally, it is not just mental health diagnoses which have reliability issues, for example I had to get a second opinion about an ear problem and the best form for intervention. 

Good luck and try to brood and try to nip the compulsions in the bud

[Isthisreality]

I am thankful for every comment in the thread, even if i went back to obsessing about it many times after you guys gave me advices, did i take consideration of every comment. 

This forum is really helpful when it comes to OCD.

Edited April 25, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Isthisreality]

I went to the gym today, i was happy. Actually 95% happy and pretty content. THEN FROM NOWHERE did i get a thought on the toilet and i tested myself and then did i had sadness and anxiety. 

I have left the thoughts of autism, could this be because i have been obsessing and my mind tries to fill the gap?! 

Edited April 25, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Orwell1984]

6 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

I have left the thoughts of autism, could this be because i have been obsessing and my mind tries to fill the gap?! 

And that's exactly the nature of OCD. Keep busy. Physically active and focused on the external world as much as possible 

[Wonderer]

20 minutes ago, Orwell1984 said:

And that's exactly the nature of OCD. Keep busy. Physically active and focused on the external world as much as possible 

This!!! Focusing outward instead of inward is the best way to keep ur mind from ruminating or noticing the thoughts!xx

[Isthisreality]

Thanks! I was very sad, almost cried, so i went outside, trained pretty hard, so it couldn't get any room. 

I need to shape up, i don't have nearly the same anxiety as in the beginning but i am sliping, getting comfortable, maybe i need to challenge it again (more). Thanks

Edited April 25, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Wonderer]

21 hours ago, Isthisreality said:

Thanks! I was very sad, almost cried, so i went outside, trained pretty hard, so it couldn't get any room. 

I need to shape up, i don't have nearly the same anxiety as in the beginning but i am sliping, getting comfortable, maybe i need to challenge it again (more). Thanks

It’s a great thing that you have noticed your symptoms creeping back in again so it’s a really good time to start challenging again, you can do it ?? xxx

[Isthisreality]

I am getting better i think. Started training more (bow when it is hotter) and it really helps me.

Faced 3 triggers today. First i was thinking about what the farmers spread out. Then did i see a shoe on the way which i wanted to move when i had passed it, because i don't want to be responsible if someone dies.. But i didn't went back.

 Then did i see a bright light which i think was a laser because they were making the ground to a house.and you use them to see if it is even.

I will try to not start googling and read the news.

And it is soon time to get a member now when the money comes this month. I think it is important to increase the awareness about this condition.

I hope everybody are ok and keep going at it.

 

Edited April 28, 2018 by Isthisreality

[Isthisreality]

Things are going good or a lot better. If i compare with the month i tried something new (started to refuse to play the game) is it a huuuuge difference. But the thoughts are there in the background. 
Today do i see that the are using glyphosate outside of where i live, the gardener. IT is a trigger for sure. Cancer, harm. 
 I saw what taureen wrote today and he talked about core-values, what the OCD tells you. My OCD always tells me that i am DESTROYED. I need to adress that, challenge it.