How to cope day to day?

[Guest eliza]

Can anyone give me advice on how to keep moral up on a daily basis for my son, hes suffering badly at the moment and its hard to keep him going, hes just started uni 4 weeks in and starting to struggle with the routine. He is in therapy but we,er not happy with the way its going (as mentioned in a previous post) and are waiting for an appointment for a new one

any words of advice or wisdom would be greatly accepted

many thanks

Eliza

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi Eliza

I have read your other post about the therapy your son was/is getting and I am glad he is seeing the GP for another opinion. It does seem that he was mostly getting counselling rather than CBT, which is the recommended treatment for OCD. I do hope his new appointment comes through soon.

It is hard to keep up morale during the tough times, especially as he's already going through a major change in routine with starting Uni. Perhaps setting small targets each day, which he is able to achieve. I am not sure what his OCD focuses on... but any small step in the right direction (delaying time before washing hands, leaving it longer before checking something etc.) which he is able to 'mark down' as an achievement, might give him some hope that he can get on top of this. If he's not in a position to tackle his OCD, perhaps encourage him to do something he enjoys every day... whether that's going for a walk, reading, watching a film, eating chocolate, taking a nap, anything that for him is 'down time' and enjoyable, might help him get through each day. Give him something to look forward to.

I am sure you are already encouraging him in so many ways. I am not sure whether this is what everyone does, but we told our son that we believed he could and would get better. He was only 10 at the time, and it wasn't that we wanted to add any pressure... but for him, he needed and wanted us to be strong for him, when he felt unable to be strong himself. So being positive for your son, however hard it feels at times, keeping a smile on your face and so on... all that might help him get through each day.

Make sure you take time for yourself too. OCD affects family members too...

Take care and let us know how he gets on. It's great he's at university, I am sure things will start to settle into a routine for him soon.

[Guest eliza]

Hi WorriedMum

thanks you so much for your reply, it helps sometimes by just having a reply to read, to hear about other parents experiences and how they cope.

My son is a wonderful boy so clever and has a lovely nature. He suffers with intrusive thoughts and has had problems with all the meds hes been on. We have a 6 week wait now for a new appointment but its with OCD specialists so hopefully the correct form of CBT will be the next step and not the counselling masquerading as CBT that hes been faithfully attending for the last 5 months which has been all about his past, I actually sat in on the last session as I was concerned about his lack of CBT (as Id researched) reasoning and skills and I'm so glad I did now.

I don't care what it takes or what I have to do to help him but he will beat this or learn to cope with it to the best of his ability so he can reach his full potential. He wants to be a teacher and I think he would make a good teacher if he can find a balance.

How old is your boy now and how is he doing?

thanks again

Eliza

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi again!

My son is now 15. He was diagnosed at 10. He was vey unwell at the time, suffering intrusive thoughts in so many areas. He didn't want to wake up in the mornings as his thoughts were so awful. As soon as we read about OCD we knew he had it as he was textbook! Thankfully he was diagnosed quite quickly and responded well to CBT. He improved within months and discharged a couple of years later. He hardly suffers with OCD anymore, and when it does bite, he is usually able to deal with it. He actually did a short video for OCD awareness week, which you can see a link for on the main website. His name is Josh.

I think it's great that your son has such a supportive family and I'm sure once he starts receiving CBT he will start to improve. It is great that he desires to be a teacher, I'm sure he'll make it. It can be hard to keep positive but there is hope. I look forward to hearing how he gets on. Do take care.

[Guest eliza]

Hi Worriedmum

Ive watched Josh's video ,what a wonderful positive outcome that is, i'm heartened by it!, what a beautiful and inspirational boy he is, you must be bursting with pride! I hope i can hear a speech similar to that coming from my son one day.

Josh's recovery says alot about your parenting skills and your determination as a family to get him better. well done to you and well done to Josh!

Eliza