Shocked

[Guest Bushbaby]

Hello

Due to major concerns about my 18 year old daughter's mental health and what I can do to support her, I paid a visit to my GP today. The GP told me that my daughter is no longer any concern of mine. I have no say or influence. I cannot help her any more medically. I was told that if she no longer wants to take her medication and chooses to commit suicide then she is entitled to do so because she is an independent adult. I was told in no uncertain terms to back off and let her do what she wants.

Surely there must be something parents can do for young adults who are clearly mentally ill and vulnerable? I am livid with this attitude, but I have to accept that I can no longer support my daughter. What kind of parent am I now expected to be? Bet they will blame me if she does take her own life though!

Bewildered!

[Guest eden1616]

Ok take a few deep breaths. You do not have to stop supporting her you can help her and give her your love the doctor just means that you cant force her to do anything legally. That does not mean she has the right to kill herself or that the system is leaving her to die it just means like you have a say on your medical treatment so does she. Parents can only do so much and all you need to do is be there for her when she needs you.

[Guest CED]

Hi

You can either go with your daughter to appointments as long as she is in agreement or she can sign a letter giving you consent to be her advocate and agree to you being privvy to medical appointments or information.

I do this with my son who is 21. He wants me to attend appointments as he finds it difficult to convey his feelings. Please do not give up hope OCD sufferers need a lot of support as do their carers.It is a real emotional roller coaster.

In my experience, as a parent, a lot of doctors do not understand how awful this condition is so I do sympathise with you.

[Guest Sally44]

If that is the case - which legally it is - then I would suggest that if she has mental health issues, that you contact MIND for advice.

You could consider contacting Adult Services due to her being vulnerable, due to mental health problems. But I would get advice from MIND first.

It is worrying for any parent who has a child that has disabilities or mental health problems. How will our children be supported as adults? Especially if they refuse to cooperate, and have the right to refuse to cooperate.

I would also suggest seeking advice from a solicitor about things like Power of Attorney. There are different types, and it would have to be agreed with your daughter. But you might be able to set up some other siblings or family members as having joint Power of Attorney so that IF that is needed you already have that legal document set up. It would then give those with POT power to help make decisions that affect your daughter if she were unable to make those decisions herself. And if she were to deteriorate it would mean you still had a say in what happened, instead of that power being taken over by adult services completely.

Does your daughter live with you?

Is she entitled to any benefits ie. DLA, or PIP? Are you her Carer and do you claim for that.

I know that sometimes adults with OCD may refuse to go to the GP, or refuse to take medication, or refuse whatever. But when that leaves you to have to devote your life to their wellbeing that isn't fair. If they need help, they need to be on the right benefits to pay for that help. They also need to be on the radar of adult services.

Edited March 10, 2015 by Sally44