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Hi, I wonder if anyone who has recovered from OCD or is at a stable stage can advise. I am currently entering my 5th week of exposure, it's been a lot of hard work but feel I may be getting somewhere. I have stopped quite a few of my compulsions, however nearly two weeks ago my OCD threw it's worst thought at me followed by an image which felt very real. However I have worked hard at not completing a physical compulsion and have tried so hard to limit mental rumination and there are some days I feel progress.

If I can keep working and stay strong will this thought fade because at the moment it keeps springing back...will I ever look back and think 'how ridiculous' or will it forever have a hold on me?

Also has anyone else found that as they started to fight back OCD really upped it's game....at the moment it's saying 'that is such a bad thought, you must check', how can you turn a blind eye' but I really want to avoid the compulsion and not give in.

Does this sound familiar??

xxx

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Hi Liz!

OCD 100% will 'up its game' when you start to change the way you react to it - by giving it less attention and knowing its all a load of rubbish OCD kinda goes.. 'oh... well what about this!!!!' its like someone you really don't like hovering around you being annoying and you always reacting to it - they will carry on. You then stop reacting, they will try something worse or more annoying, and gradually they will give us cause they are bored and ultimately there is no point in them doing it anymore.

But at the same time it won't stop straight away, but you can work around as you are doing now. Keep going it sounds like you're doing brilliantly - don't let anything shock you, be prepared for these thoughts to keep coming back, whether they are worse or not as bad - they are still just thoughts and do not deserve your time or attention.

You're doing fantastically - keep going! :)

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Hi Liz,

i'll just 100% confirm from my experience what Miranda has said.

OCD doesn't like to lose its victims, so will up its game to try and reel them back into its tangled web of lies, deceit and distress.

Follow what Miranda says - and presumably your therapist - and don't listen to, don't react to OCD intrusions - expect them, but be prepared for them when they come to call.

And yes, their power will fade as you gain more and more strength to resist and ignore them.

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Thank you both your responses have boosted my confidence. My therapist is brill and is happy with my progress. I feel if you can ignore OCD at that point when it goes up a gear to try and hold onto you, you stand a very good chance of recovering. It is not easy and requires sheer determination, I desperately want to recover so will try as hard as I can to keep going now.

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I very much relate to this and an experienced ocd therapist said much the same to me. Mine has always morphed when one theme is under control. E.g. Used to get intrusive thoughts about being gay or schizophrenic, or worries about being attracted to teenage girls and ignored them and removed compulsions and the worries went. However, then I started to worry about the future and how it being on my record would affect relationships and employment in the future. This became an obsession/intrusive thought in itself and one that is impossible to disprove. Find it much harder to tackle this one. Ocd is very good at reinventing itself.

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The thing is Steven to expect it to morph, and try and build the mental strength to resist buying into it and slipping backwards.

So being ready for it and having a viable strategy in your OCD setback/recovery "blueprint" is a good plan.

Re your issues over the future, I wouldn't worry about your previous record- I would lead your focus calmly towards being thankful for help to aid recovery and how much more of "life" you will have won back from OCD.

My philosophy is always about planning for, but not worrying about, the future- and always looking to seek out, and focus on, positives instead of negatives.

Edited by taurean
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Guest jamie1989

I could have written any of these responses, can totally relate to them all. I fought and defeated HOCD and now suffer from checking OCD. OCD will mutate and attach itself to any thought you find upsetting.

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Hi Taurean, the problem is that it is an obsession. It's very difficult to not worry about the future for me. I'd love to focus on positives rather than negatives. But the fear causes such terror that I then have to start either ruminating or thinking of asking for reassurance. Also looking at this forum becomes a compulsion in itself. When I'm feeling okay, I try to avoid coming on here, as I know I have a tendency to try and look at all the posts to try and find reassurance.

I can go through long periods when I'm okay. However, at the moment, I feel awful. Anyway, don't want to hijack this thread!

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Hi Taurean, the problem is that it is an obsession. It's very difficult to not worry about the future for me. I'd love to focus on positives rather than negatives. But the fear causes such terror that I then have to start either ruminating or thinking of asking for reassurance. Also looking at this forum becomes a compulsion in itself. When I'm feeling okay, I try to avoid coming on here, as I know I have a tendency to try and look at all the posts to try and find reassurance.

I can go through long periods when I'm okay. However, at the moment, I feel awful. Anyway, don't want to hijack this thread!

Steven your points are quite relevant to the thread.

Fear is at the heart of OCD it thrives on it. So your ERP needs to revolve around teaching you to experience that fear, and the resultant anxiety, but resist the compulsion to ruminate and/or seek reassurance.

You'll need to do a graded exposure, gradually extending the time between the compulsion to do so and giving in and doing so.

Large numbers of people have used this method and achieved success.

If you wish to be specific about your own OCD difficulties, by all means set up a new thread and the community will guide you and share their own experiences.

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Hi, I noticed as I started ERP and gained a bit of confidence my OCD stayed with the current theme but really upped it's game. Thought became more disturbing and images more real. I have then had to grit teeth and work even harder. This seems to be a common experience for people as they start down the path to recovery. I think if you can work through this stage of OCD trying very hard to keep you in its grasp you stand a very good chance of recovery. So be prepared for this and keep pushing forward. xx

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Also, be prepared for it to change theme! I don't get images and disturbing thoughts on my old topic. I just get disturbing worries that drs won't believe that I had ocd, which is an obsession in itself. So, the worry changed from me worrying I was an awful person because of intrusive thoughts to me worrying that a dr in the future would think I'm awful. Also shame surrounding previous worries. It's still ocd but with a rarer obsession. Anyway, ocd sucks and it sounds like you are doing well to combat it.

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Guest PolytheneBoy

Some very good points mentioned in this thread!

OCD can try hard to resist your efforts, and pushing yourself will bring this up. Though as you expose yourself more to the OCD, the images and thoughts will lessen. Some days may be tough, others a little easier, but gradually the little efforts you put in over time will add together and create a rounder, more confident you. There's nothing wrong with a step back, or even a few. It's all part of progress, think of it as making sure you've accustomed yourself to that step before stepping up to another step. :)

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