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Ocd is taking over


Guest Sandy12345

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Guest Sandy12345

Hi everyone,

I havent ever written in a forum before to speak about my ocd and I feel quite anxious doing so. I have been suffering with ocd for many years. The last few years have been the most difficult and up till now it is even worse. At first it started with counting things, looking at things a certain amount of times and repeating things in my head until Im sure its enough. No matter how much it stresses me I feel I have no choice but to count and say things in my head. I wash my hands constantly after everything I touch as Im so scared that I will catch something. Recently I change my bed sheets everyday as I think theyre dirty when theyre not. I constantly wash my clothes even though I have not worn them. If something drops on the floor it has to go in the wash. If my hair touches something which I think is dirty I have to wash my hair. There are so many things Ive lost count. Iam truly fed up and I know Im not the only one like this however, i

Dont have anyone who i can express this to, and thats the reason i joined. If anyone has any advice that would be great!

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Hi Sandy, my ocd theme is not centered around contamination or counting or things like that but I'm sure other members with that theme will soon comment on this post and be able to lend you some good advice. But, it does sound like you have many, many compulsions as you've already noted.

Have you considered (or maybe even tried) exposure therapy? Perhaphs if you are too scared or anxious to do it on your own, you can do guided ERP with a therapist. For example when you feel dirty or contaminated, try to slowly stop doing your compulsion of having to bathe or wash your hands or any other ritual you do to decontaminate yourself. I've heard of people using the method of feeling contaminated and trying to delay their compulsions. Like you may feel your hands are contaminated and then instead of rushing to the sink quickly, try to bare with it and wait 5-10 minutes before you go. Or if you have a complex ritual/ways of decontaminating yourself like some people wash their hands a certain number of times, with a special soap, they wash until it feels "just right" or until a certain amount of time has passed. Try to limit these things or change them up like instead of washing till it feels "just right," wash for 30 seconds and don't wait for a "right feeling" or anything, just stop at 30 seconds.

The best thing for OCD is CBT and ERP and also mindfulness. If you can, try to get the help you deserve by a therapst. Or if you can't for whatever reason I reccommend going to the library and just getting some OCD self help books. I have one I like for exposure therapy called " The Heal Your OCD Workbook" by John B. Arden PhD. You can come up with your own exposure ideas on there and the charts are super helpful.

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Hi Sandy

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch, it was good that you joined, everyone is really supportive here :) i agree with Nicola exposure therapy or CBT is the best thing, have you spoke to your doctor? I know it might sound daunting but it will help you get started tackling this x

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Guest lizinlondon

I have contamination OCD too. You can start by reading self help books - overcoming OCD by rob wilson and the Brainlock books are good. But if you can't do it alone please get some help. I left it too long and it got really disabling. I am doing CBT with exposure therapy now and getting better but I wish I had got help sooner. Try your GP and they can refer you for help. Goodluck!

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Guest Sandy12345

I have not tried cbt or anything else. Ive always tried to ignore any thoughts or feelings however it does not seem to be working. There are some days where i feel i would like to get help and then there are days where i just dont care. I guess its almost as though the ocd is so powerful that nothing you do can help. I struggle with feeling bad, im always creating issues which do not even matter. I over worry way too much and always question myself. Going through this is so tiring and some days i just want to give up. If ever i feel happy, all of a sudden i have to think of something which is negative therefore making me unhappy again. Its

Like a constant battle that i fight and i lose each time. It sounds bad but i dont think

Anything can help? Or maybe i dont want the help? I dont know. If i really

Wanted to sort this then i would? I feel as though i always question myself. Its not only the whole contamination issue which affects me. I always think im wrong. I dont trust my own

Judgement, i always need someone elses input or decision. Iam

Not confident enough and whats crazy is that i use to be so

Confident and strong!

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Guest Sisyphus

I have not tried cbt or anything else. Ive always tried to ignore any thoughts or feelings however it does not seem to be working. There are some days where i feel i would like to get help and then there are days where i just dont care. I guess its almost as though the ocd is so powerful that nothing you do can help. I struggle with feeling bad, im always creating issues which do not even matter. I over worry way too much and always question myself. Going through this is so tiring and some days i just want to give up. If ever i feel happy, all of a sudden i have to think of something which is negative therefore making me unhappy again. Its

Like a constant battle that i fight and i lose each time. It sounds bad but i dont think

Anything can help? Or maybe i dont want the help? I dont know. If i really

Wanted to sort this then i would? I feel as though i always question myself. Its not only the whole contamination issue which affects me. I always think im wrong. I dont trust my own

Judgement, i always need someone elses input or decision. Iam

Not confident enough and whats crazy is that i use to be so

Confident and strong!

Hi Sandy,

FWIW - I think a lot of this can be attributed to the combined effects of OCD and depression. Like the limiting effects of the OCD damage your confidence, and that has secondary effects and so on. Until we feel terrible about ourselves, isolate ourselves, think we're not worthy of anything or anyone good, hesitate, can't decide. I think these are common effects of this stuff. By products of an OCD mind in full flow.

But from what I've read it works both ways. And once you start treating it effectively, the in-roads you make also have secondary benefits and it can become easier that way. It's a lot of ifs but Im trying to say there is hope and maybe it aint so bleak as it looks. Maybe?

I think also it's a common thing to think that your OCD is somehow different to everyone else's, like "yeah, sure it does seem to match a lot of OCD, but this is different, I'm just cursed and have bad luck in life, everyone hates me". Adn even doubting if you have OCD. And being reluctant to go and talk to a doctor about it because it feels very wrong and humiliating sharing all this stuff you've gone to such great lengths to hide for so long. That was very weird for me after such a long time. It does get easier on that front though.

I'm just mentioning all this stuff because I had all these doubts and fears(and still do for the most part) and I think they're common, and I think if you're not careful you can be tricked into thinking you dont have it when you do, and stop yourself getting the ball rolling on treatment.

So - hopefully that'll make you see it a bit differently maybe?

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Hi Sandy

I think it's not that you don't care but OCD making you doubt yourself yet again. I think the thing to do here is take the first step, go to the doctor's, take someone you trust with you maybe to ensure you go?

The key to ignoring the thoughts is that it doesn't work instantly it takes time to go away and you will still feel anxious for a while however you mustn't let the anxiety cause you to act on compulsions i.e. cleaning or to start reacting to your thoughts (listening to them/paying attention to them). If you feel that you could use a bit more of a push maybe try exposure therapy, this is where you slowly start exposing yourself slowly to what your mind perceives as risk for example: your OCD one of them is you change your bed sheets everyday, take a small step i.e. don't change one pillow case and change the rest of the bed, then once you have got used to it, don't change 2 pillow cases etc it will spike the anxiety but once you realise nothing 'bad' has happened you will slowly start to ease the anxiety? Does this make sense?

:) xx

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Guest Sandy12345

Hi yes it does all make sense however, me changing my bed sheets everyday makes me feel better. There are some things which i do that makes me think, if i do this then nothing bad will happen. On the other hand when i change my bed sheets i do this because i think i will catch something if i dont. Iam so worried and paranoid that if i dont keep everything clean i will catch something. It really is so time consuming and

Tiring. Another example is if im changing clothes to wear and for some reason i think its touched my wardrobe, i instantly think the clothing is dirty and i must wash it straight away because if i dont then i will catch something.

I know it sounds so ridiculous and i even know it is but i just cant help. There are so many clothes that i throw out just because i think its dirty. Not only is it time consuming but it also wastes money! I constantly throw things out, and sometimes they have not even been used. Lately it has gotten more worse.

For example, when i go out, and i

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Guest Sandy12345

Pick an item up i will walk around with it in my shopping trolley. Then out of nowhere i think its dirty and i have to go back and change it! There really is so many things that i go through and it really makes you feel like your going mad sometimes!

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Hi Sandy :)

I can understand this, it is all OCD, why don't you look up Exposure and Prevention or CBT and try to use some of the techniques (slowly in small small steps) by yourself? In the mean time please do try and get yourself to the Doctors, it takes time but seeing someone really will help if your willing to try

x

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Guest nervous

Hi Sandy, I also suffer from contamination ocd although the actual type is not important whatever the fixation it always has an obsession and then the compulsion that we feel will rid ourselves of the anxiety. Like you mine also started with checking and back then I considered it embarrassing and time consuming but it was not as destructive as when it became contamination. One thing to realize, as my therapist said to me "once the danger dial is turned up high everything is a threat" only once we stop running away will we get used to the anxiety and it will fade away. Performing compulsions does make us feel better but only for a short time until we have a new thought that we must address, as you can imagine this could take up your whole day.

As others have said you should talke to your doctor, take a look on ocduk main site there are some resources that might be helpful to you. There are some books that explain the ERP methods and you can work on it yourself although it is not as effective as performing them with a qualified therapist.

your not alone there are lots of us out here

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