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I'm going out of my mind someone please

I think I've just touched my daughter on purpose please help oh my god why would I do that? everything has been going really good and now this has happened

I'm sweating with panic I'm in bits oh my god please

basically she just had a poo so I was cleaning it and it looked clean but I decided to wipe again to make sure and I saw her vagina hole next to her bum hole and I had like this thought to wipe it just because I could I guess idk and I did! I wiped it oh my god I am freaking out I don't deserve to live

i basically just wiped my daughter on purpose

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Guest legend

you are going over and over it finding , because you "fear" that you might of acted inappropiatly

did you act innapropiatly , deliberatly , was that your intention ?

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well it must be if I acted out the thought of wiping her?

the bit I wiped is the bit between her genitals and her bumhole, the squishy bit.

I don't know if I was just aware of it, had a thought to wipe it and because I did I'm thinking I touched her

but I acted the thought out so I must've touched her, I remember thinking it looked soft and squishy maybe I wiped there because I had a thought I wanted to because it looked squishy

idk but I definitely wiped her after I had the though and I can't work out if I wiped because I was going to anyway and wiped a couple of times even though she was clean or if I did because of the thought

but then I think if that's the case why? I wouldn't feel anything different from every other time I've wiped her

ugh I've just had to change her again cause she pooped and I was glad to so I could try and remember but i still can't

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Guest legend

you dont need to remember

you are being a normal mum with ocd

What can happen is you are doing whats normal then a intrusive thought comes in at the same time , which causes

huge panic !!

it doesnt matter what actions you did , its the ocd thats the issue

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No its not, it's exactly the same. You're being hyper vigilant of your actions and twisting them to fit your own distorted view of yourself.

You need to stop these checking behaviours.

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I don't know how you think that's being hyper vigilant though. It's like I saw the bit inbetween her bum and genitals, noticed what it looked like etc and hen wiped her there.

why would I do that?

surely if I was hyper vigilant I'd make sure I didn't touch her there?

******* sick of this

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Guest legend

why are you questioning it all ?

because we are giving you great advice to implement , but you arent, and are chasing your own tail

take a breather, try to not out wit the ocd

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because I'm hoping I didn't?

ugh I honestly don't know I'm trying to tell myself that I had an intrusive thought and wiped her because that's what I was going to do anyway but why would I wipe her again when I had already wiped to make sure she was clean... I just feel as though I already wiped her to make sure she was clean before I had that thought and then went back to wipe her because of it.

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how can I do that though legend?

what I remember is having the thought to wipe that bit between her genitals and bum yeah? and then I remember myself wiping there because of that thought.

I chose to wipe there. like I wiped there so I could feel it or something. do you see what I'm trying to say? I chose to wipe her there after having the thought knowing I was wiping for that reason!

that's what I remember and it's killing me. I

wiped her on purpose.

if I had the thought then wiped her without the intention of wanting to wipe her there and knowing for a fact I was doing it to make she was clean this wouldn't be a problem but I know I wiped there on purpose :(

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Guest legend

what will the police do , what will you gain by harming ?

nothing

you arent taking on board the advice, your going around in circles

you did abc why a xyz happened, explained that, now you are going around in huge panic

Stop going over it , resist it , then anxiety will dampen down

Edited by legend
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I honestly don't think you understand what I've done

I wiped my daughter on purpose knowing what I was doing, knowing I was wiping a certain area because I wanted to, she was already clean!!!

i really just don't want to be living this right now, I can't deal with what I've done

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