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I think im at the lowest point ive ever been. Since being told the thought wont go away ive been struggling, I had been doing better, was hopeful it would be gone one day, but feel like that hopes been taken away. Yesterday my dad made me feel like a failure, mom said I wasnt normal, car broke down on the way home and tonight I went into the field and found one of our horses has passed away. I feel like im being punished for something. I just dont feel like things can ever be right and better again, im not exactly sure what im looking for, hope I guess, someone to listen maybe.

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Hi Hosscat, sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and anxiety. I'm sorry about the passing of your horse, give yourself some time to grieve for him or her since everyone feels sad when a beloved pet/animal passes away.

You're not being punished by anyone, it's just sometime when we're in a bad frame of mind all the little bad things that happen to us can seem overwhelming and like they're happening on purpose when really they're not. Remember life goes on. Anxiety passes along with all of life's crappy moments.

If you're in a tough and really anxious state of mind right now try some relaxation techniques to feel better: http://www.innerhealthstudio.com/obsessive-thoughts.html.

I hope the link above works, my therapist gave me the link to that site today.

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Also just to add even if the thoughts themselves don't "go away" you can eventually reach a state of happiness and be cured where you'll get the thoughts, but you'll be able to cope with them better or just not even care about them. It all depends on how you cope with the thoughts and how you react to them.

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Thank you, I guess I equate having the thoughts with having the doubt and all the negative emotions. If I could just have the thoughts and laugh them off it wouldnt be so bad, but im just afraid I cant get there. I try to keep telling myself its ocd, but that doesnt stop the what ifs.

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I think this is like any other skill, it takes time and practice to be able to laugh off your OCD thoughts and know that they are just thoughts. You just have to keep doing it until it becomes an automatic habit in your brain. Thoughts are just thoughts but when you add special meaning to them they become more. In your case the meaning you've added to the thoughts is that they are negative and are signs of doubts and un-sureness in yourself. When really all they are are malfunctioning thoughts caused by OCD.

I know it takes time but the results are worth it, you gotta keep practicing. :thumbup: You're strong enough to have made it this far with this disorder, so you can eventually show it who's the boss of your brain.

Edited by NicoletteCB
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