OCD about sexual orientation

[Guest Azamour]

Hi,

Just found this forum and am really glad to see other people are suffering also. I suffer from ocd with doubts about my sexuality. This has only returned in the year and has been very aggressive. I am trying everything to convince myself that I am gay.

I find it difficult to fight this type of OCD because I start to think that I am repressing my gay side. I feel that by fighting it I am not being true to myself. Does anyone else have this issue? I think if I don't face it now. It will be a bigger problem later if I have kids etc...

The last few days I have decided to fight it as ocd and have been making progress. I'm starting to feel like i don't have anything to hide and I feel almost ready to go out in public again.

[PolarBear]

We have had a number of people on the forum with the same type of obsessions.

The key is to not resist the thoughts and work to stop your compulsions. You let the thoughts be there but don't react to them.

Common compulsions are ruminating (thinking deeply about your sexual orientation), checking (such as checking your response to gay porn) and reassurance seeking (asking people if they think you're gay).

This type of OCD is fairly common.

[Guest Azamour]

I'm guilty of those. How can I tell the difference between the obsessional thoughts and ruminations? I am constantly ruminating about it...

[Guest Azamour]

A big part of it for me is that I suffer from social anxiety also so this makes it worse. In social situations I get paranoid that people think I'm gay. Then I act strange and withdrawn which makes it worse.

[PolarBear]

It is easier I think to figure out your compulsions than it is your obsessions at times.

Obsessions are thoughts or urges that are intrusive, unwanted that cause distress.

Compulsions are thoughts, behaviours, rituals performed to try and alleviate the distress.

Obsessions are directly not controllable. Compulsions are done consciously and can be resisted and stopped.

[Guest OCDChineseFighter]

Hi,

Just found this forum and am really glad to see other people are suffering also. I suffer from ocd with doubts about my sexuality. This has only returned in the year and has been very aggressive. I am trying everything to convince myself that I am gay.

I find it difficult to fight this type of OCD because I start to think that I am repressing my gay side. I feel that by fighting it I am not being true to myself. Does anyone else have this issue? I think if I don't face it now. It will be a bigger problem later if I have kids etc...

The last few days I have decided to fight it as ocd and have been making progress. I'm starting to feel like i don't have anything to hide and I feel almost ready to go out in public again.

There is no need to convince yourself that you are gay. If you feel good then be it. I am gay too. And living in China with an invisible gay status is awful cos no one would like to talk about it. And every gay person seems to get married under the pressure of the Chinese convention. That's another suffering. The thing is that I told my mother I am gay and she happily accepted the truth that I will never marry a woman and never have kids. I am grateful to her, such a supportive mother. It's not normal for parents to know you are gay here. And she is helping me to fight against OCD hehehehe.

Cheer up! No matter gay or straight, don't let it be another problem in your life.

[Guest lizinlondon]

I would agree it doesn't matter what you are, relax and enjoy being with whoever you are with. Let the thoughts pass and enjoy the present.

[Guest sophie13]

Well, I understand that if you are gay, you know you are gay. Our sufferer here is doubting. He has OCD, fear and ruminations. He lives in fear and gay rights are not a problem to him :-) Anxiety is.