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Obsessing over education


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This is more about my education and how OCD has impacted it. Right now I have been doing well this past week, dare I say closer to recoverey?

My mind is starting to go back to old topics I used to worry about like college and my career choices and coming out and stuff like that.

I have been stuck on worrying about my future education choices. I want to become an illustrator or psychologist. Unfortunately, I took fine art in freshman (first year) of highschool and failed and I took psych sophomore year (second year) and also failed.

I hate to play the blame game but both years my OCD was severe. I was a total perfectionist in art, I kept messing up projects because if one thing wasn't identical to my teacher's copy I'd have a nervous break down. Also I had depression and it took away the fun of art and I was just a hot OCD mess.

As for psych in sophmore year I was going to therapy and my anxiety was a killer. I tried to sit down and learn about stuff like schizophrenia and paranoia and I'd get intrusive thoughts that would set me off course. Plus this teacher gave ridiculous amounts of homework and with my schedule I never got to it.

Now I'm paying the price for failing both classes and am starting my junior year. I'm thinking of retaking both this year and passing with A's as I am usually a straight A or B student but I'm now so scared colleges will see the previous failed grades and not allow me to take the classes in college or not accept me.

I know this isn't a normal OCD question but this is something that is almost becoming an obsession of mine, worrying about college.

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Guest Sisyphus

Hi Nicolette,

May sound flippant but I would advise anyone to do what they enjoy, and worry about how to make money from it later. I went with what I "should do" careerwise - very very very bad idea - plus I didnt get the monetary rewards or job security I thought I would anyway so the joke was on me. I unintentionally abandonned my art in the process and havent drawn or painted since. The one just seemd to displace the other somehow. But the point is I was naturally good at art and enjoyed it - blindingly obvious to use it in a career but I got talked out of it.

So decide what you enjoy and are good at and follow that is my advice. Only thing that occurred to me was that psychology could expose you to some disturbing old stuff that could potentially aggravate your OCD, whereas producing artwork has an inate meditative quality to it(ok so depending on the setting/context, I know). So maybe that would be beneficial to your OCD.

I'm sorry OCD impacted on your studies. This happened to me too though at the time I just blamed myself cos I didnt know Id got it.

Good luck choosing

David.

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