Is this OCD? Opinions/help please.

[AttemptingToHeal]

So the therapist I've been seeing also thinks that my panicky fears about worse case scenarios, and my over-thinking as a reaction to this, is OCD. It's not what I'd traditionally thought of as OCD, and I can't spot any compulsions I do in response to worries apart from maybe the over-thinking. I'm aware also that there's supposed to be something called pure-O, but this still feels very different to me than my normal obsessive compulsive cycle.

However, since he said that I've had a trigger tonight where I'm worried about my girlfriend. I watched myself in a mindfulness way and a lot of the symptoms and feelings are similar to OCD. I'm wondering if anyone else has OCD which causes them to over-think, possibly about tiny details sometimes/often out of context, and can share their experiences with me. I'm thinking my over-thought may be OCD based, and therefore more curable than I first thought. Thank you in advance for any help, my problem is as follows:

My triggers fall in to two camps, worries my girlfriend will leave me, and the potential for occurrence of violence (not within the relationship). Now these worries don't always occur, they are usually triggered by some fact, e.g. someone in my gym having a 'problem' with me, or my girlfriend being really ****** to me. Also it's only ever these two things, never anything else. For example when I thought I would lose my job a while back, I was concerned, but not panicky in the same way.

When I fear one of these things is going to happen I get really panicky pretty much immediately, can't sit still, and get the shits (sorry! ). All classic anxiety/fight or flight symptoms. Some of this feels like a very strong version of the feelings I get when I get an obsessive trigger, but when that happens I only get the feeling in my chest and heart, like an acceleration of my metabolism, and not as strongly. I don't usually get the other symptoms.

When I start to panic about the thing I'm worried about, I can't stop thinking about it. The same thoughts go through and through my mind, even if I've 'resolved' the issue - that is been able to think about it logically and decide that things are likely to be ok - I'll then still just go round and round with the same bloody thoughts again. I have to keep checking and be somehow 'sure' that things are ok. My thoughts get more and more muddled, and I'm unable to concentrate on anything else. In the wort cases, even when someone's talking to me I can't focus on them very well, and after a few sentences I'll find I'm thinking about my worry and no longer listening to them.

My girlfriend was being crappy with me all night, but instead of thinking it may just be her mood or due to something else, I immediately thought it was because of me. In these times I seek reassurance by going and talking to her, and watching her facial expressions, etc. If she smiles, I feel better. She just came in as I was typing this and was friendly again, and I immediately felt the worry lift, but then as she went out her expression fell back to normal/****** off and I immediately became worried again. Now I'm worried not just that she's unhappy with me, but that she may have seen me typing this and that's made her unhappy too. Part of me can see that this is a bit over-the-top, but the thing is people's expressions and behaviour towards you does often indicate how they feel about you. Also I don't really get social interaction and relationships very well, so I can't judge this in a normal, more realistic manner. Also the reason I'm worried is because she does spend less time around me, and there are actually genuine problems in the relationship too, so I'm not sure what is a real concern and what may be over-the-top OCD thinking. I did ask her if she was ok and she said yes, but seemed ****** off I would ask, and it was clear (as it has been time and time again recently) that I wouldn't get any more conversation out of her even if I pushed to get it.

When I am panicky like this my OCD gets much worse, and all of the rituals are done to fix the thing I'm worried about. It's also a lot harder to apply CBT/ERP at this point. This I think could be normal for OCD though as it hooks on to whatever you're worried about at the time, and is worse when anxiety is higher. So I think this may not be part of the over-thought, but my other more usual OCD flaring up to try to compensate.

My therapist said that fearing the worst case scenario is very OCD. Things that worry me in life are, due to traumatic experiences when I was younger, romantic relationships ending and bullying or psychological/physical violence directed towards me. So it makes sense then in some way that things I'm really worried about could become obsessions when I have reason to fear them again or they enter my mind again, either because the OCD is getting hold of a thought and obsessing about it, or even in fact the whole thing is caused by OCD, and I'm over-estimating the possible consequences. Not sure if this is just anxiety, mis-thinking (e.g. Negative Automatic Thoughts) or OCD. Maybe a bit of all three?

Opinions?

[AttemptingToHeal]

Oh yeah, and sorry for the bloody massive post, but I was trying to be clear.

[taurean]

Probably a bit of all three. Its quite usual for OCD sufferers to have other anxiety problems.

Taking the first part of the post, and I am only really concentrating on that in this response, is it OCD, I can't see any rituals etc?

It seems like it to me.

Why?

There are two obsessions:

1. My girlfriend might leave me
2. Violence could occur

There is an underlying fear underpinning both of them - fear usually underpins OCD.The fear that my girlfriend might leave; and the fear of (someone) losing control and acting violently .

And the over-thinking is rumination, and rumination is a mental compulsive ritual.

With my own troubles, I have harm OCD - comes in episodes - a small amount of checking OCD - and tend to get wound up /stressed very easily causing anxiety.

Taking up a point you raised from the other thread on success - would ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) help you, well I gave it a go through a book I have by me now called "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris.

It states that it is targeting stress, anxiety and depression using a mindfulness-based programme caused ACT- i'ts some time since I used it, but I recall that I did find it helpful for the former two; my depression was caused by the OCD, so I had to treat the OCD to address that.

Edited July 26, 2014 by taurean

[Guest Sisyphus]

You've written a lot there and I havent got my best reading head on today, but I can tell you I get a very similar thing about latching onto a latest worry and going over it, exploring all the what ifs, permutations, how I would handle thios and that, almost like rehearsing. And as you say you can think it through very thoroughly to the point where that should be the end of it but it doesn't matter - it wil just come up again and again and again until you're sick of thinking about it.I suppose I can look on it as OCD because the trigger(obsession) is the anxiety/worry over a possible outcome/eventuality and the compulsion is thinking through how I would handle all the different possibilities or perhaps a bit of Pure O kind of rationalising through the situation, what happened, dismissing the false stuff, re-establishing the facts. Reassuring myself really. This will generally happen around conflict or potential conflict. And if I've got that going on, it's very hard to calm down and focus on other stuff.Like my whole brain is tense and trying to get back to the latest worry.

Not sure about the girlfriend stuff, that's a new one on me. Will leave that to somebody else. But from my experience, if she saw you writing stuff on a forum about her, that could make her a bit moody!

[Guest itsnotmeitsmyocd]

Hiya ATH,

I have what is commonly (and mistakenly) called pure O, but actually it is all plain old OCD. The only slight diff is that "pure o" peeps generally have mental compulsions and outward compulsions although these are not as outwardly obvious- to the untrained eye at least. So for example after the intrusive thought, your checking of your partners face could be a compulsion, asking her if she is okay (more than a reasonable number of times) could be seen as a compulsion. Ruminating is 100% by product of ocd. I have harm themes and relationship themes, although the relationship ones are not really a prob for me anymore.

On a diff note, spend a bit of time doing something nice for your partner, actions speak much louder than words - or maybe i am biased being a lady!

[Guest PolytheneBoy]

Hi there, as stated above, it's very OCD to have thoughts based on worst case scenarios. I also have these, and in the past they were based around harming others or doing embarrassing things. Anxiety is common with OCD, since it is regarded as an anxiety disorder medically.

It's true that worry about misdiagnosis can occur with OCD. I've considered other forms of illness I may have, but I do relate to OCD related symptoms more than the others. You may never find complete closure about what you think it is or isn't, that's the problem with OCD. So remember that you aren't an illness, you are a person with feelings and a personality!

[Guest Sisyphus]

Just re-read my post after reading PB's and realise I didn't answer the original question. I forgot to add that, on reflection, I absolutely do think that the worrying over situations where there is a potential threat of violence is OCD.

Not sure about the girlfriend situation, though if it's centred around a worry about falling out with her and constantly seeking approval to avoid that eventuality, then there's every chance it is.

Edited July 26, 2014 by Sisyphus