Clinical Depression

[Guest CodyMcG94]

Hello, I am 20 years old. I have clinical depression and intrusive thoughts. I feel I have run out of people to talk to. There's only so much your parents can tell you. For the past 72 hours I have been depressed for literally no reason. Everything and anything my mind can do to torture me, whether it's my past or a personal demon, my mind just keeps racing. I can't relax, I'm constantly searching the internet and calling my mom. I am currently visiting my dad, so I am away from home, and the depression is causing me to feel isolated and crazy. I just want to talk to someone. I'm sure you have all been here. I take 150mg of luvox and 2 mg of klonopin, some weeks I do great, others not so much.

[Guest Sisyphus]

Hello, I am 20 years old. I have clinical depression and intrusive thoughts. I feel I have run out of people to talk to. There's only so much your parents can tell you. For the past 72 hours I have been depressed for literally no reason. Everything and anything my mind can do to torture me, whether it's my past or a personal demon, my mind just keeps racing. I can't relax, I'm constantly searching the internet and calling my mom. I am currently visiting my dad, so I am away from home, and the depression is causing me to feel isolated and crazy. I just want to talk to someone. I'm sure you have all been here. I take 150mg of luvox and 2 mg of klonopin, some weeks I do great, others not so much.

Hey there Cody,

Are you searching the www for anything in particular? I think a lot of us here have suffered depression at some point as a by product of OCD so you'll find a lot of empathy here.

Is there anything that might have triggered this latest episode or is it just a general malaise? I get that too man. I try to cheer myself up with movies or listening to music or exercise. Movies seem to be the best to take me out of myself really, but sometimes OCD interferes, either with choosing one or making me stop and pause and rewind. Real drag. It can be hard to jar yourself out of it sometimes. Nothing seems appealing.

Hang in there pal.

David.

[Guest jayjay89]

Ah depression, my good friend! By good I mean sh!t.

Are you getting any therapy/CBT? I found that made a good difference for me, because I could feel like I was taking control of getting better.

[Guest Annabel]

Hi Cody,

I'm really sorry you're ill with depression just now- it's definitely one of the worst illnesses to endure.

Are you able to be physically active? e.g. go for a run or a swim? Sometimes even when I was struggling with depression (moderate rather than severe) I found running would increase my mood a bit. Or do you not have the umph to do things like that just now?

Like any disease depression needs appropriate treatment and management so:

1. CBT therapy (most essential)

2. Counselling/other psychological therapies or mindfulness training

3. Option of anti-depressants (which you're on)

4. Looking after general health: exercise, sleep, healthy food (all of which become incredibly hard to do when you're very depressed so having your Mom hold you to these would be good). This might not seem like a priority but the neurotransmitters that are released in the brain are often dependent on the food that you take in- so it's important that you take carbs and protein.

It helped me to think of depression as being a thing that comes and goes in episodes (which is usually the case for most people- depressive episodes) and that sometimes even within one day I could feel a bit better at different points.

If you can identify anything that can distract you from your thoughts and feelings- such as listening to music, meeting up with friends, playing computer games, reading books or going to the cinema/movies then try to do these as much as possible. Sometimes doing things you used to enjoy, even if they seem unappealing at the time can help

[Guest CodyMcG94]

Thanks a lot to everyone who replied! I feel for the first day it's uplifted, I sometimes take L-Theanine (suntheanine) to help. But I think I get depressed and then I dwell on my intrusive thoughts and how much they've affected me. I sometimes wonder if SSRI's are for better or worse. Sometimes I feel in so much better, other times I feel agoraphobic and just trapped, that's the worst feeling in the world and I have it probably at least once or twice a month. But sometimes leaving the house period is anxiety driving. It has nothing to do with fear of something happening to the house, I have intrusive thoughts only when I leave the house. So home is kind of like safe ground where intrusive thoughts and anxiety disappear for the most part.

[AttemptingToHeal]

Cody, do you have depression despite your OCD, or would you say it's caused by your OCD solely? I think the treatments and approaches may differ depending on what causes it. I could be completely wrong though!

I am wondering, would mindfulness help you? It doesn't get rid of the feelings but you just watch them go by and don't worry about them - it's a very nice feeling when you can just let things be the way they are. I also found that concentration meditation, where you focus on a single thought or for example count up from 0 in 3s for as long as you can, helps greatly. Concentration meditation takes my mind off anything I happen to be upset about at the time and so makes me feel better, but it could be hard to do if your OCD takes over how you do the meditation.

[Guest CodyMcG94]

Well it's hard to say actually, I'd say it's mostly caused by my OCD definitely, but sometimes I feel depression over other things. Yeah actually! I have the book, mindfulness for OCD. I've studied meditation, I'd like to study more into what a Buddhist thinks about as they reach relaxation to find neutral ground lol Buddhists explain it in a way that can be somewhat confusing.

[AttemptingToHeal]

Yeah, that's one of the reasons I avoided the religious overtones in my meditation. I just wanted something that worked, that I didn't need a philosophy for, and I have my own pretty strong opinions about how things work and how they are.