not having a good day, need a little support

[gingerbreadgirl]

Having a really overwhelming evening, seem to be just bombarded with anxiety and intrusive thoughts that haven't bothered me in a long time - mainly that I am a terrible person and don't deserve to live. Please don't give me any reassurance on this front, I know it's not logical but I can't help it, doing compulsions galore and I know it but I'm just not stopping. Having problems with my throat that won't go away and just feel horribly afraid of just about everything Not a good time someone give me a slap and tell me to snap out of it

[Symps07]

Come on gingerbreadgirl! Your stronger than this, hold it together! You can do this! :original:

[Guest Allalone]

Oh gingerbread girl, I don't like to hear of you like this. You are full of so much advice so I will try to help you now. It's just ocd and they are intrusive thoughts. Tell them to go away! You are strong enough to do this. Just sit and reason with yourself.

I know you aren't supposed to reassure but you have helped me so I think of you as a kind person.

Ps I think it's something in the air as I too have been struggling and I had had a couple of good days xx

[mummyoftwogirls]

You've been doing so well , just remember that. Times of stress ie house move ocd can creep back in . Remember how quickly ocd can spiral out of control and try to stop your compulsions now :-) be kind to yourself xxx

[gingerbreadgirl]

Thank you guys Xx

[PolarBear]

:bash: 'Nuff said.

[mummyoftwogirls]

Haha not as bad as legend telling me he will slap me with a wet fish hahaha

[PolarBear]

I tried finding the 'smack you with a kipper' emoticon but I was unsuccessful.

[Guest imalright]

Keep going, Ginger!

Your original post shows strength....keep it up!

XxxX :-))))

[ailo]

Dont be afraid. Be strong! Best wishes to u

[Guest PaulM]

It's okay - you know where you've been. And everybody has bad days.

You can do it.

[Caramoole]

someone give me a slap and tell me to snap out of it

Snap out of it Girl......you are stronger than it and you can :fish:

Have you sung yet

I tried finding the 'smack you with a kipper' emoticon but I was unsuccessful.

Quite right too.......It's mine......All mine :fish:

Caramoole

[ACE]

Having a really overwhelming evening, seem to be just bombarded with anxiety and intrusive thoughts that haven't bothered me in a long time - mainly that I am a terrible person and don't deserve to live. Please don't give me any reassurance on this front, I know it's not logical but I can't help it, doing compulsions galore and I know it but I'm just not stopping. Having problems with my throat that won't go away and just feel horribly afraid of just about everything Not a good time someone give me a slap and tell me to snap out of it

Hang tight GB I know you'll come through this hun&yes you're a lovely worthy human being I know it's true weall do trust me :original: .When you feel like this try to say to yourself I can'tdo this now so I won't put any pressure on myself,it's the illness not me I've come through this many times before,I know it's so tough now but I'll come through this but right at this moment I need to relax and take it easy&when I'm back up I'll get back on track&start again trying to get ahead beating my OCD :original: .

[Guest itsnotmeitsmyocd]

Ginger,

You do not need a slap or to snap out of it - if that worked i would be the recovery queen!

Attribute it as a bad day, learn from it, do not take it to heart and move on with your recovery. The storm before the calm. Are you a bad person - maybe, am i a bad person - maybe. One thing we do know is that we have OCD- which will often strike harder when we are doing well - like a shameless bully desperate for attention. Will any amount of compulsions lead us to a final answer - most very likely not. The road of rumination and compulsions is usually only a road to more rumination and compulsions.

Dust yourself down young lady, and get back on with YOUR game plan. xx

[Guest Saz]

Hope your ok ginger x

[gingerbreadgirl]

Thank you everyone I really genuinely appreciate the support.

Still don't feel good today. I just feel as if I'm always going to be really flakey and whenever it counts I won't stand up to OCD and I'll just cave. Something slightly stressful happened yesterday, and just that one small thing set off a huge cascade. How will I ever deal with a genuine crisis if I can't even get through day to day stressors?

I feel so guilty because I just crumble at the slightest thing - even though I've had everything handed to me on a plate in life. I have been so fortunate and blessed in life so why am I so weak? There are so many people here who have had horrific experiences and they show so much strength and fortitude. I just feel so weak and like I've squandered everything I've been blessed with

Sorry for all the negativity x

[Franklin12]

Hi Ginger,

I have also wondered the same thing and have come to the realisation that my anxiety/OCD issues have all been about trying to cling on to what has been a very fortunate upbringing. I've had a very happy life and have been lucky that I haven't had to suffer or experience any real hardship. The more I clung to the notion that life should be perfect, the worse my anxiety became. I think that's why I have such a huge range of themes - and I too reached the point where every minor day to day issue became a huge source of potential fear. Constantly being afraid that something would come along and burst my bubble, so catastrophising every minor incident and planning on how to solve every possible incident in advance. It got to the point where I was carrying around so much baggage I began to wonder how it could continue. I researched every possible cause of my distress - reading all manner of scientific studies on different parts of the brain/physiology to find out what could be making me how I was. For all my knowledge and my desire for some kind of chemical fix to 'right' my faulty wiring, nothing helped. The solution has been surprisingly basic. Simple letting go and acceptance. What gives me the right to never have anything go wrong? Life is full of suffering, why on earth should I never suffer? So now I accept that I can't control everything, that even the things I do control can go wrong, and that I, like everyone else in the world, have to deal with that. The final piece of the puzzle for me came from a post on here a few weeks ago - it's not just potential bad events that I need to accept, it's also unwanted feelings. Like all humans I have no right to expect that I will never feel sad/fear/ashamed/guilty etc etc. These feelings are a normal part of life, and when they occur I will never be able to make them feel like good feelings. So now I choose to try to live life in the now - knowing that when stuff happens and I feel bad, it's perfectly normal, yes it feels rubbish, but It will pass.

I hope that you feel better soon - I always found the run up to Christmas tough because I love christmas and I didn't want anything to ruin my perfect day. But this year I'm trying to take it all as it happens - and if something kicks off, I'll deal with it and move on.

[legalseagull]

Go for a run. Remember how good you said it made you feel (on another post)? Can also highly recommend martial arts if you're getting into exercise.

[Guest Orwell1984]

Go for a run! Get up and go!

[gingerbreadgirl]

Thank you so much for the support everyone. I may get on the treadmill after work.

Franklin - what you said helped more than you know. Thank you so much Xx