OCD and anger. Struggling.

[Guest Arctic Tern]

Hi. Some of you may remember I posted shortly before Christmas about my brother who is exploiting my POCD to attack me on his website. Since then I have followed the advice I was given and stayed off his website, reading the replies I received when tempted to look what he is up to. These have helped.

I stayed away from my parents house over Christmas and new year as my brother is there every day. But last weekend I decided to put my daughter first and take her to her grandparents for the first time in about four months. Without going into details my brother was up to his old tricks, playing mind games and delighting in exposing my vulnerabilities. I am now wondering if the relationship is beyond repair. I am feeling a great deal of anger and resentment myself, and find I am unable to drop these feelings. My brother and his hate filled games have become an obsession fuelled by anger.

We are supposed to travel through to see my parents again next week for my nieces birthday. I am dreading it already. My partner says I should try and cultivate compassion or empathy for my brother who is really unwell and full of bitterness. Either that or cut him off completely. Really feel like I need to be talking to someone about this, but finished CBT six months ago (we concentrated on social anxiety) and think it is unlikely the therapist would agree to see me again, but I will ask tomorrow at my meds review.

My social anxiety is very bad at the moment. I am only really seeing my partner and my daughter, and sometimes my partners mother and father. Since November I have not been doing my voluntary work at my local Barnardos, but intend to go back next week. I have been spending much of my time in bed obsessing about my brother. It's the venom I find so hard to fathom.

My relationship with my partner has been badly affected. She has even talked about leaving me if things go on the way they have been.

Feel at a very low ebb and would appreciate any input. Thanks.

[PolarBear]

Hi Arctic Tern. I remember your previous thread on this subject.

It seems to me that you can't do much about your brother but you are in control of how you react to brother's shenanigans. Laying in bed obsessing about your brother isn't doing you any good, is it? That's just ruminating over a subject you have no control over.

You should be working to dismiss your brother's problems and working to improve your own situation through working, volunteering, being social with others. When it comes to your brother, let it go. There's nothing you can do so don't waste any more time on him.