how do i let go of past memories

[Guest ciaramarie]

This isn't false memories this is me reading stuff online about lesbians and relating to how they all felt and at this time I also thought I fancied my friend and push it away cause she wouldn't like me back. I also thought was telling a girl I thought I was a lesbian and she said she thought she was one to and i felt like i wanted to have sex with her to me it just seems like I'm trying to ignore the fact I'm a lesbian and i can't let this go. Anyone have any advice.

[PolarBear]

You're ruminating again. That's the problem. This is no different than the past 10 threads you've started. Some thought starts it off (an intrusive thought) and you start ruminating over it. Ruminating is a compulsion and it only makes your situation worse. You need to get a handle on your compulsions, specifically ruminating.

[Guest ciaramarie]

But how

[PolarBear]

ciaramarie, we've told you a number of times what you need to do.

Ruminating is a difficult compulsion to overcome. It is thinking and it's hard to stop thinking, but with enough practice you can learn to set ruminating aside.

You first have to figure out when you are ruminating. When you are sitting there and you realize you're going over thoughts in your head again and again you know you're ruminating. You stop yourself. Your force yourself to stop. Then you refocus your mind onto something else -- whatever you happen to be doing at the time is fine, whether that be watching TV, reading a book, washing dishes, working, going for a walk.

You do this over and over again. It takes practice. You won't get it right straight away. You have to keep trying, for weeks or months.

You also need to have the right mindset. You have to make a commitment to stop trying to figure things out. Tell yourself you will not engage with thoughts about your sexuality, that you are going to leave them alone and not respond to them. When you get a past intrusive thought popping into your head you say to yourself, I'm not going to deal with that right now.

[Guest ciaramarie]

But I feel like I'm gay I've never been attracted to guys I'm just so upset

[Guest vale]

... i felt like i wanted to have sex with her ...

I feel the same as you. stop trying to find the "answer" it is imposible. it makes the problem worst

it feels like real because the fear we hold.

we are human, we are social creatures, we have the capacity to be friends, feel simphaty, etc.

this is important to sorvive is part of being human and it has nothing to do with sex.

listen to polar bear he is right. take care

this can help:

http://www.ocdonline.com/#!i-think-it-moved/c1n7y

[Guest vale]

But I feel like I'm gay I've never been attracted to guys I'm just so upset

Do you feel inferior than other women?

if this produces suffering then it is OCD.

[Guest ciaramarie]

I'm.confused

[PolarBear]

I know you're confused but you're making your situation so much worse by ruminating over this. Sitting there thinking about it more and more is not going to give you the clarity you seek. Take a break from it all. Stop going over it in your head. Leave it completely alone.

[Guest vale]

Exactly

and get educated on how obsessions works. that is a good step.