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Get off the forum and start working at challenging your OCD!


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The title may surprise many of you who think we want people to use our forums, we do of course want people to use our forum, fleetingly, in the right way, but then we want people to fly away and get on with life with OCD firmly behind them.

Of course, the title is not necessarily suggesting you should all never visit the forum, but after reading hundreds of threads in the last couple of weeks as an observer, what is clear that many people are using the forum expecting the magic to happen on here, for the most of you, it won't.

As James story perfectly demonstrated the real magic happens away from the forum, away from the therapists office, it happens at home or on OCD location. At some point we have to stop thinking it through in our heads or on here and actually test things out.

Using the forum to express how you are feeling is fine, to gauge opinions is fine, to ask for suggestions is fine but from what I can tell far too many people are using the forum as a form of actually avoiding getting down and dirty with the OCD and challenging their OCD and perhaps challenging themselves. Time to be honest with yourselves, are you using the forum for the right reason?

The forum is about sharing solutions for problems, about people sharing possible answers to our problems, to help us work it out in our head and to offering us encouragement to test the theory out, that is what the forum is for. But, at some point you do have to take that information in and use it.

Why am I saying this? because I am hard nosed (I am not too worried if people think that of me)? but, no it is because I am saying this because I want the forum to be a place that leads to solutions, not wallowing. My aim is that one day my mods and I will be sat here 'billy no mates' with an empty forum because everyone is getting better and getting on with their life.

I don't know when that day will come, but until then we will continue to help and support people, in the hope they take on board what we are saying about treatment, and the need to work at it. Equally I will not apologise for making these reminders every now and again, after all we all need a kick up the backside sometimes.

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I agree completely. Facing ocd is one of the hardest things to do but overcoming it is one of the best and thats what we all need to focus on. The forum is great for support but the solution comes from ourselves x

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The most valuable work on recovering has been when I've been off all forums. x

It's an important point that's really worth thinking about. Only a few months back I started a similar thread suggesting that as sufferers we spend time away from the forum doing "normal" things, having more general interaction.

It's one thing finding support and sharing knowledge between others who know what we're going through and can help us move forward when we're struggling. But if you spend all day researching OCD, reading about OCD, discussing OCD, have friends who have OCD.....your life literally becomes one dominated and saturated by OCD. I don't think at that stage it's healthy, helpful or instrumental in getting better.

Like Ashley, I sometimes become increasingly concerned about whether the forums are used in a beneficial way or whether in certain instances hey start to become more harmful than helpful :(

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Guest anatta

I mostly use it for distraction from my own OCD, because mental health and neurology fascinate me and would do even if I didn't have problems with it. No one ever posts about my theme so it usually works well for distraction. Occasionally I also use it for sneaky compulsions that no one ever picks up on, but that's just because I get triggered by things people say sometimes, not because I'm coming here specifically for that purpose.

But I see that people could fool themselves into thinking that the forum counts as therapy, or mistake just thinking about the techniques recommended for actually implementing them. I remember when I used to meditate, sometimes I'd just be picturing myself doing the meditative task or thinking about the concept in general, and mistake that for actually meditating. It's surprisingly easy to do. A kind of thought-action fusion, which people with OCD are more prone to than most.

Edited by anatta
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Yep, it's a difficult balance where you have to really be disciplined. Caramoole - what you said aout your life being governed by OCD is really important. There's a chapter in the book I'm writing about letting go of the 'OCD sufferer' label in recovery. And how we need to do so n order to 'reinvent' ourselves as ex-sufferers or however you want to word it.

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There is certainly a segment of the forum population that is stuck on their obsessions and compulsions and are unwilling or unable to refocus onto getting better. They complain about how things are, ask for reassurance and post ad nauseum about their current condition.

But, there are also others who seem to be doing pretty good. They come on once in a while, need a pep talk or some help refocusing and off they go again. Thing is, we don't see this second group as much as the first group, so it's easy to think the first group is much larger.

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haha anatta, I totally do sneaky compulsiions that I think people don't spot. A lot of the time we convince ourselves we are just asking a question etc when really we are just ruminating/seeking reassurance lol

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Guest anatta

haha anatta, I totally do sneaky compulsiions that I think people don't spot. A lot of the time we convince ourselves we are just asking a question etc when really we are just ruminating/seeking reassurance lol

Yeah sometimes I don't know I'm doing it, either, and then if I suspect I am, rationalisation and self-delusion about what I'm doing kicks in. One reason I want to start mindfulness meditation again, is how little self-awareness I can display when it comes to compulsions. I'm actually worse in other corners of the Internet. Compulsive reassurance seeking soon turns into compulsive badgering and compulsive arguing, sometimes blurting out that I need them to keep talking to me because of OCD, other times trying to disguise my motives.

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I like to help others and have taken an especial interest in working with others to find an approach which defeats the disorder's peddling of doubt and the need for certainty.

Progress has been made but its a big challenge and I like challenges.

I like Caramoole Ashley Bear and others do get frustrated when users apparently make no notes either physically or by copy and paste into their computer so have no structure to their tackling of their OCD and keep asking the same questions in some slightly different guise.

I would really suggest people take this on board ; you can't do what you have to do without noting it down.

I have eased of much of that help for others to concentrate on my own fight .I know Ashley doesn't subscribe to chemical imbalances but I certainly do and so do many. Our very own PolarBear for one. I am pretty clear that some drug out there would have balanced out my highs and lows and if I had not been our major breadwinner working 11 sometimes 12 hour days and lots of travelling I would have stuck at trying other meds than the 2 I tried several years ago.

Citalopram had been of some value now but not enough I feel. Still a work in progress.

Edited by taurean
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Guest eden1616

There is certainly a segment of the forum population that is stuck on their obsessions and compulsions and are unwilling or unable to refocus onto getting better.

I don't think anyone is unwilling I think it is unfair to assume that, I think some people haven't figured it all out yet and so it looks like that but I don't think anyone is unwilling!

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haha anatta, I totally do sneaky compulsiions that I think people don't spot. A lot of the time we convince ourselves we are just asking a question etc when really we are just ruminating/seeking reassurance lol

You'd be surprised what we spot :detective:

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I don't think anyone is unwilling I think it is unfair to assume that

I think it's fair comment Eden. Unwilling can cover many things, the most common (and understandable) is the unwillingness to face the anxiety that is necessary.

I think some people haven't figured it all out yet

Maybe not but sadly, many wait to work it out first hoping that once they've figured it all out they will be able to deal with it easily. It doesn't work that way. You have to hold your nose and jump in not knowing how deep the water is or how many dangerous creatures lurk below the murky surface.

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I must confess that before I had access to the forum I would shy away from OCD focus between episodes and only get my OCD binder with the recovery blueprint in it out when another episode started.

But seriously I do so much enjoy passing on whst I have learned, with the slightly different perspective of the erstwhile professional presenter.

But too much focus on the disorder is unhelpful in recovery - just a focus on what individually is required is appropriate.

I suspect I don't have the right med for me right now but will wait a while longer and keep working the therapy.

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Guest eden1616

I think it's fair comment Eden. Unwilling can cover many things, the most common (and understandable) is the unwillingness to face the anxiety that is necessary.

Maybe not but sadly, many wait to work it out first hoping that once they've figured it all out they will be able to deal with it easily. It doesn't work that way. You have to hold your nose and jump in not knowing how deep the water is or how many dangerous creatures lurk below the murky surface.

I meant in the sense of getting better not specific compulsions I don't think anyone is unwilling to get better I think they just haven't figured out how it all works yet.

And also I don't mean that you don't have to do anything anxiety provoking I just mean the way you go about doing that is different for everyone and some people haven't figured that out yet. I just think it is wrong to assume things about how hard people are trying when you are not that person.

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Eden there are many out there with much simpler problems than yours and mine who would be doing much much better if they focused wholeheartedly on what they have been advised to try.

That is the real point being made here.

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I think unwilling is a valid term. Some people know what to do but they are unwilling to do it. That doesn't mean they don't want to get better, but they can sure be unwilling to go down the path they need to.

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Personally I don't know if people are unwilling no offence to any of you guys opinions here,I think many people are trying their utmost best but as we know with OCD it's certainly never easy a challenge.Anyway I'll just state a quick couple of things I've been trying,sorry i just wrote out a very long reply& got logged out on my library PC& it didn't go through :D .

Yesterday& today i've worn two newer items of clothing that I usually fear wearing because of two reasons related to my OCD or actually maybe three,ok here goes I wear the new item of clothing something terrible is going to happen to me or my family,friends loved ones etc etc,I take the item out of the bag where it's placed in my room something very bad is going to happen because I shouldn't be taking it out of it's made up special place,I wear the new item of clothing it's going to get ruined& it will most likely then I'll be an utter mess.

Yesterday I wore a newer hoodie I have only worn a handful of times,today i wore anew pair of canvas shoes bought a long time ago both caused a fair degree of distress but I pushed through it,really taking moment by moment,using mindfulness,thinking how much joy this gives me wearing this& also very importantly the achievement in attacking& beating the OCD.

I know this isn't easy& I can give many other examples in my life that hopefully inspire any of you guys,I know it's so hard as heel but as long as you try you will get there maybe not today or tomorrow of this week but you will do it trust me :original: .

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Guest eden1616

Eden there are many out there with much simpler problems than yours and mine who would be doing much much better if they focused wholeheartedly on what they have been advised to try.

That is the real point being made here.

But you are still assuming that their problems are "simple". i understand the point being made here but it isnt that simple, ocd isnt simple and you cant apply a blanket rule to something that is so varied and to so many different people because one size doesnt fit all.

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Guest eden1616

I think unwilling is a valid term. Some people know what to do but they are unwilling to do it. That doesn't mean they don't want to get better, but they can sure be unwilling to go down the path they need to.

again that is making an assumption about how people are feeling and i dont think you can say anyone is any particular thing unless you are that person or unless you are saying that that is only your personal opinion but you cant just say it is a fact. unless that person themselves has said that they were unwilling.

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I think that it's difficult to know what's truly going on in a situation that we are not physically part of. To an observer, it could seem like I am unwilling to make necessary changes. I don't typically talk about my success in fighting my OCD - it's just not really who I am. I see no purpose in spending time talking about the things I'm doing well with, and I'd much rather spend time asking for help with my weaker subjects. To some, it may look like I am blatantly ignoring the advice that's being given, but this is simply not the case. I, having high functioning autism, am someone that doesn't always comprehend what is being said, and I often need things explained to me repeatedly (and in numerous different ways) before I can make sense of them. I say this because I think that it's important to remember that OCD doesn't discriminate. It doesn't just hop over people with disorders that complicate learning and understanding of language and communication. I'm not suggesting that this is true for everyone who asks similar questions repeatedly. Rather, I am stating that we can't know, and that it's rather arrogant to assume that we can. I don't know that everyone is trying their best, but I also have no way of knowing that they aren't, and I think that it would be unfair of me (or any of us, really) to say that someone is unwilling to do the work without knowing their entire story.

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