OCD INTRO FOR ONE WHO WAS RECENTLY DIAGNOSED!

[Guest Harwardstark]

Im a 21 year old male. I was recently told by my GP that I am suffering from OCD. All these days I was thinking that it was just an anxiety. But i had unstoppable thoughts of killing my parents,throwing knives out of my home to prevent me from killing them. I didn't really want to do like that. but my mind keeps on flashing images of blood , me killing someone. I coulnt stop that. Later i decided to throw away knives from my home. I had some experiences of seeing demonic creatures, moaning in the bed etc. I am a fan of Iron man. So i changed my name as Harward Stark and Even had a big tattoo'STARK INC' on my left hand. i always wanted to create extraordinary mechanical masterpiece. I pushed myself very very hard. I couldn't graduate i dropped of 2 best universities. I was a top grade rank holder in high school but i couldn't concentrate in college. I hated book education. I learnt everything from youtube and internet. I can make complex machineries and make high graded projects in most streams. people say I'm far more intelligent that a post graduate. But my parents keep on saying that I'm a piece of ****. I am not going out of my home for nearly one year. i usaully don't like outside world. I always like loneliness. Im suffering from such thoughts compulsions etc etc etc since from my childhood. to be precise my parents pushed me till my high school. They always compared me with other high scorers. I always tried really hard. When my parents stopped pushing me i started to make very high targets and pushing myself more and more. I am usually silent. but when my dad or mom makes charges over me i feel like killling them. but in real i will be just starring at them silently. But in my mind ferocious images will be flashing. My GP told me that its OCD. i came home. I tried to cry but i couldn't. when ever i used to cry i used to say to myself that if i cry that will take out my injuries. So i must not cry.only then those injuries will keep on pushing me more and more. I couldn't not cry that day. I don't know what to do. I told my parents and they say that I'm trying to say a reason from my dropout from college. They tell that i don't have anything like that. I couldn't do anything. Everyday is becoming a hell. Please tell me somebody how to get out of this :'(((((( :helpsmilie:

[Phili]

You are going to need support, courage, patience and all the will power in the world. With this you can learn to control it, in some rare cases people have been cured.

[Guest Harwardstark]

You are going to need support, courage, patience and all the will power in the world. With this you can learn to control it, in some rare cases people have been cured.

thanks for your reply. I will try to bring in some courage to fight this situation.For the first time after some years my eyes are wet while typing this. I think i can make it

[Guest Orwell1984]

Hiya, I used to have exactly these thoughts of stabbing and killing my parents and alongside I had the fears of being evil and demonic. I am happy to say that since I got help with a qualified therapist to do exposure and response prevention, i do not have these thoughts or urges anymore. I can use knives, even large ones around my parents, animals and people I think are vulnerable like old people and children and I don't have any worries or ocd intrusions anymore. You will overcome this. You need to stop performing the compulsions (hiding knives, analysis of your thoughts and analysing 'what if' scenarios). There is some great information in these links below:

http://www.ocdla.com/blog/harm-ocd-1-1488

http://www.ocdla.com/blog/harm-ocd-treatment-mindfulness-1560

http://www.ocdla.com/blog/harm-ocd-cognitive-restructuring-1721

http://www.ocdla.com/blog/harm-ocd-treatment-erp-2727

Also, learning to refocus and apply your attention onto some other activity while allowing the anxiety to rise and letting the obsessive thoughts appear is your goal. You cannot actively stop the thoughts but by not responding to them through compulsions, they will eventually stop. Have faith in yourself. You will definitely come through this

Edited June 1, 2015 by Orwell1984