Jump to content

How long does it take for an obsession to go away after dropping compulsions?


Recommended Posts

I want to just stop cold turkey with one of my obsessions and resist getting involved...going to set myself a time of 2 weeks during which to not perform the compulsions.

Link to comment

It's a difficult question to answer. I think everyone is different. And you may not completely get over a certain obsessions. But things can get better.

Why would you set a time limit of two weeks during which not to perform compulsions? Why not resist/stop them and keep resisting/stopping them? After two weeks you don't want to start doing compulsions again.

Link to comment

Okay, well my obsession is not really something like handwashing. I used to have handwashing compulsions and the more "traditional" OCD symptom set, but not anymore.

I have GAD and am trying to treat that with accepting it. I used to spend all my time searching for "the cure", researching, writing stuff out, etc. Then read a book which said basically this is the wrong thing to do. So I figured instead of searching for the cure I would "let the cure come to me". As long as it takes. This is almost like exposure therapy. The obsession is finding a cure for anxiety (which perpetuates it), the compulsions are going to forums asking questions, Googling, etc. etc.

However, some people said that part of acceptance for them was to stop talking about anxiety in general. One guy said he did not mention anxiety AT ALL and if asked how he felt he would say he was cured. For me, I don't mention my anxiety much at all. The most I might say is "I'm anxious right now". But I have learned that other people can't really give me any answers, also a lot of people get frustrated if you constantly complain about anxiety.

I figure that just saying "I am anxious right now" isn't a problem, but rather seeking REASSURANCE from other people is the problem.

So my mind comes up with two pathways:

Stop searching for the answer and don't mention it to anyone.

Stop searching for the answer and it's fine to mention it, just don't go asking for reassurance (which I don't do anyway).

I spend a lot of time searching sites and posts about acceptance to decide if I need to stop talking about it. This is a compulsion. My mind has honed in on this one issue, talking about it.

If I make a decision one way or the other, I can hardly stick with it for five minutes without feeling intense anxiety about that decision. I figure if I just make a decision and stop giving into the compulsion to "change it" etc., the compulsion will go away. The reason I set 2 weeks is because I figured I would "reevaluate" at the end of 2 weeks, to see if I should change my approach, because once it is no longer an obsession I will be able to think about it objectively and clearly.

My gut tells me it's okay to say I feel anxious or tell my folks if my anxiety is getting better. But I see the posts by some who say they stopped mentioning it 100 % and get worried that I will be going about acceptance "the wrong way".

This is not the first obsession I've had about acceptance since I read that book back in January. I haven't been able to start recovery because of these obsessions, and figure that as soon as this one goes away a new one will pop up to replace it (that is what has been happening). So I need to learn to stop giving into them because that is probably an important part of my recovery. What seems a ridiculous obsession to me right now (one I've previously overcome) will seem just as real as this one in a few weeks, I'm sure.

Link to comment

Well that adds some more detail to your original post. Interesting obsession. You do know that if you're going to stop compulsions you need to stop them all and one that you mentioned is going on different websites to find out how others deal with their anxiety. In the context you have just laid out, that would be a compulsion. In other words, you have to make a decision about how you are going to proceed and then do it, not looking back.

Link to comment

For some reason I'm afraid that saying "don't mention it at all to anyone" will keep me from getting better because it changes the understanding of what I am doing. The way I understand what I am doing is just stop trying to get better......I'm not trying to forget anxiety.

I guess not talking about it would not keep me from getting better, but it's just not necessary at all IMHO.

But anyway as I said I need to stop giving into these obsessions because they keep popping up...like I wasted 2 months on one, another 2 months on another one......one of the old ones that I thought I had got over popped back up actually...now it went away again.

There's this thought that saying "don't talk about it all" is too...overkill? Like if my mom asks me how I'm doing with my anxiety, I should be able to say, "Yeah, I'm doing alright. I'm working on just living with it and not trying to make it go away."

Then again, I did have an obsession for two months that keeping myself from going to forums and reading anxiety books over and over looking for answers was not accepting because i was still trying to "do something about it", which now makes no sense to me at all. Of course I want to cut out these compulsive behaviors that have been keeping me in the cycle! So then I worry that "talking about it" is one of them...but I suppose that would only be if I'm looking for reassurance?

Not sure what reassurance would look like in this context though because I don't think I've ever done it. Maybe I should not mention it all just to "be safe"?

Edited by Ryukil
Link to comment

Woah. Woah. You're over thinking all of this.

I think it's perfectly fine for you to tell people how your anxiety is doing. You're right, you want to stop concentrating on how you feel but you don't live in a vacuum. You'd only be telling the truth.

Link to comment

I know I'm overthinking it. -_-

But I figure talking about it is okay, but searching for the cure is the problem.

Anyway, I need to write out on a piece of paper what I am doing and then stick with it and eventually that obsession will go away I guess. -_-

Link to comment

But yeah...it's almost like my "plan" needs to "feel right" before I can do it.

But it makes sense that I'm putting so much emphasis on how to do this "right" as I want to recover from my anxiety after 10 years of suffering and I KNOW that acceptance is the way to do it.

Link to comment

I think it varies from person to person in terms of how long it takes to go away. I've had some obsessions vanish incredibly quickly on dropping compulsions whereas others have hung around for months. what is certain is they'll never go otherwise. Good luck! X

Link to comment

And you may not completely get over a certain obsessions. .

This scares me, if I don't ruminate it's in the hope that by not ruminating, eventually when I look back, I will know that there was nothing to worry about and that it was definitely OCD.

Link to comment

This scares me, if I don't ruminate it's in the hope that by not ruminating, eventually when I look back, I will know that there was nothing to worry about and that it was definitely OCD.

That's sort of what happens but it's more like after a while (or a long while) you simply stop caring about what was bothering you. If you truly leave an obsession alone you reach a point where you don't care whether it was true or not. You stop looking for certainty and not having certainty doesn't bother you.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...