How do you tell what's actually dirty any more?

[Guest tabbycat]

Had an awful night after a slightly calmer few days. I physically have trouble cleaning due to illness and mentally due to ocd. My bathroom sink hasn't been cleaned for ages, I do think know how long, although I was away for a month before 2 weeks ago. I've been washing my face in the evening gs from the running tap, never thinking about water splashing back up at me from a visibly dirty sink until in bed last night.

Rationally, it's unlikely the water that splashes back up has suddenly dissolved grot from the sink.

Rationally, I dried my face and arms.

Rationally, I haven't just coated myself/bed sheets with horrible sink grot from dried arms last night.

But technically the sink is dirty and I actually did something that compared to normal is probably dirty.

Don't know what I do now though (apart from try and clean the sink)

I guess this is something I have to tell myself is ok, but how do I stop the nagging fear that what I did was actually dirty?

[PolarBear]

You don't stop the nagging fear. You just let it be.

Trying to stop an obsession gives the thought attention, guaranteeing it will come back again.

Instead, tell yourself, yup I might have splashed yuck from the sink all over me. And that's it. Let the anxiety go as high as it wants. It will come back down on its own.

Don't get drawn into a debate with yourself over the ramifications of splashing that yuck on yourself. Tell your brain to take a hike in that regard.

[Guest tabbycat]

Thanks. That is the right answer, I can see. It's very hard. Lying in bed in the early hours of the morning heart racing couldn't get my breathing to slow down purely with terror that I'd splashed myself with potential yuck. I've forgotten about it for most of the day, by still have to get back in that bed tonight (can't stand without going light headed now, changing a bed isn't going to happen). Guess I can't make it any worse!

[Guest lizinlondon]

Try not to mentally review it. Hard to do I know, I would be thinking the same. But do keep trying not to engage with the thought. Try doing some breathing and mindfullness. Good luck!

[Caramoole]

Don't know what I do now though (apart from try and clean the sink)

That would be a good idea Not because of danger but as an issue of discipline, and discipline is necessary to combat other issues like apathy, depression etc. I don't know what type of illness you're suffering from or what physical disability you may have...but generally cleaning a wash basin doesn't take too much exertion.

OCD usually co-habits with other issues and we have to try and look at the "whole life" package and try and get it back in order so that life does be come more rounded and normal.

What practical problems do you have cleaning the sink?

Caramoole

[Guest tabbycat]

Thanks Liz.

I have ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Caramoole. I know the cleaning thing is a mixture of physical and mental now, at least for small jobs like sinks and toilets (couldn't wield a hoover or mop). A lot of issues have stemmed from the time I literally showered every 3 days and spent days in a dizzy pyjama'd heap on the sofa unable to do anything else. While I'm a bit stronger than that now, not being able to do 'normal' things for so long skewed my thinking. I also live with my parents a lot now as removing the extra energy requirements for cooking, washing, and general loneliness allows me more energy to recover. I've always wiped kitchen surfaces, kept up with the dishwasher, worn clean clothes etc, but the bigger stuff gets left, and the longer I leave it the dirtier it gets and the more likely I am to get light headed and worn out half way through and not be able to finish cleaning it, especially as I have to plan what touches what and how and when due to OCD, which is exhausting in itself.

Sink is sparkling now,though bad planning of that and a couple of other things this morning has left me light headed and nauseous and having to lie down for the rest of the day. Had to cancel a much needed visit from a friend too.

I do get the principle of cleaning what I can regularly though. Need to try and get more organised but the last 2 weeks have been hell from the ME and the OCD.

[Caramoole]

I'm sorry to hear about the ME....but pleased you cleaned the sink

It must be tough...but where remotely possible it's probably a good idea to try some small tasks regularly (where possible) so that they don't become massive problems.. I don't profess to know a great deal about ME but believe that depression can be an issue and where depression lurks, so too does apathy....so as with all these things it's helpful to have achievable goals...it all helps with general emotional and mental health....and the better we are in general, the better our OCD is.

Caramoole

[Guest tabbycat]

That makes sense. A lot of the bathroom is now in the 'massive problem' category in my head. I'll try and chip away at it.

Not depressed, seems ocd is my brain's way of saying it can't cope.

[Guest Miss Lemon]

Tabbycat, I'm not sure if it helps at all but I can really relate to a lot of what you are saying. My problems are very similar to yours in many ways.

I'll drop you a PM.

[Guest tabbycat]

Thanks Miss Lemon, I'd really appreciate that. Is there some some of pm inbox on here or will it just come as an email?

[Guest lizinlondon]

Hiya Cat

I can relate too. I am in a similar position to you. I am only just starting with therapy and meds and I have a long way to go. At least you can allow your family to help you. I can't even touch any of my family or allow them to help me. I hope you feel better soon. You have support on here.

[Guest Miss Lemon]

tabbycat, on 31 Aug 2014 - 12:31 PM, said:

Thanks Miss Lemon, I'd really appreciate that. Is there some some of pm inbox on here or will it just come as an email?

Under the little envelope icon, right at the top of your screen- in the black strip.

Edited August 31, 2014 by Miss Lemon

[Guest tabbycat]

Hi Liz-that sounds really rough, I'm glad you're getting some help.

Thanks Miss Lemon, I've replied (I was slightly amused by the 10 message limit - guess I'm not the only anxious email hoarder on here!)