Depressed and distraught

[Phili]

............

Edited September 17, 2014 by Phili

[Phili]

:cold: :please: :in_love:

[Phili]

.

[Imhotep]

What appears to be the problem?

[carolj]

You need to tell us a bit more Phili

[Phili]

i dont know...its all just so much

[Imhotep]

Right first of all, take some deep breaths. Close your eyes, breathe through your nose gently till your lungs are full. Hold your breath for 5 seconds, and let the air out gently. Repeat till you regain some calm. Then you can assess how to proceed.

[Caramoole]

What's matter Phili?

[Phili]

I just...my nerves are exhausted to the max, I keep obsessing over little things, I can't focus on anything, I can't sleep, my brother is paranoid about the pain in his arm and chest which is making me paranoid, I hurt my leg, the paranoia over my period has made me exhausted, (it has started normally now, though it is still very light, (at the moment only started yesterday), and that also is playing a major role with my mood. I feel lonely and loneliness is a real problem with me, even with my Mum I've always been so lonely, its that loneliness that burns, you know? Neopets is down for three days and I spend a lot of time on there...and they are taking away the Habi's, the artist ruined my favourite manga and the other one I like looks like it might meet the same fate, I want to learn to draw but have no drive, I can't find anything to do because everything I start to do I lose interest, I can't write because I have no ideas...my stomach hurts, they wont pay our rent until they get a letter from the social services guy that my dad is staying in the home permie and he has to decide whether he can stay or go into sheltered accommodation, which is ludicrous considering he wont move any further than the commode. I have an ulcer, I want to work and I can't concentrate, I feel like I was in a nice warm bubble and have been dragged out into the freezing cold by a horde of badly dressed cosplayers, I'm lonely

And I can't buy a Gin Ichimaru plushie because the website is Chinese and my brother wont use his debit card on there even though they are a huge company and I can't find this Gin figurine I want to even look at it and realise it is too expensive...did I mention that I'm lonely?

Edited September 17, 2014 by Phili

[Phili]

Hello?

[Phili]

I know my problems but sound so petty, I'm sorry...

[carolj]

Hi Phili

No your problems aren't petty and we all feel for your situation. Sometimes people don't know what to say and sometimes its just the middle of the night

You may have been in a 'nice warm bubble' but you say that was lonely too. Im sure it feels horrible breaking out of that, but in the long term when you have fought these battles they will bring you and your brother a better life.

Your Dad obviously isn't coming home whether he stays where he is, or whether he goes into sheltered accommodation, so tell this person from Social Services you need the letter now. Are there any more thoughts on you being moved somewhere better?

I have no doubt you would be very good at writing. You say you can't think of anything to write about, but you have had some ideas in the past haven't you? Do you think your OCD is stopping you from starting? How about going into the members only section of the forum and asking whether anyone has any ideas for you?

We are all still here for you.

Carol x

[Phili]

Thanks *fidgets* :down:

My Dad cannot go into sheltered accommodation, he would be dead in a month, he refuses to do anything for himself, wouldn't take his medication and can't even boil an egg. Which means we would have to have him back and the thought of that gives me a panic attack, also we can't take care of him.

I have been working on my story for three years but I struggle to get started, I don't know what to do about that, I get up with plans but then sort of linger and do nothing.

[Phili]

Also when I work I keep thinking whats the point because I think something bad will happen

[Caramoole]

Hi Phili

Like Carol has mentioned, sometimes people might not know what to say, they might not be so good themselves or it might just be the wrong time. Like me, I was out last night and didn't get home till very late.

It's not surprising you feel off it now or that you can't get going. You've had so many massive things going on, so many things to face and those things are still going on. Give it some time, wait until this housing gets sorted, the move, the money resolved and then you can start to put things right a little at a time.

You'll have accommodation where you're warm, dry and have some space. The money pressures will lessen so that you're not panicking about rent or food etc.

Try and make that move a time to change. Perhaps think about what you're going to tackle a bit more....what you're going to work on....perhaps things you could consider like preparing some food or tidying or whatever it is.

At the moment you're living in a tiny space with nothing much to do, it's hard to be motivated and creative under those circumstances. Even if they're only thoughts on paper, try and make some little goals you'd like to achieve if you could.

Look how far you've come in this last couple of months, it's been tough but you're moving forwards big time.....but it's still pressure.

Caramoole