Could use some advice

[Gemzi3]

Hi all, I'm refraining from posting as often on here as I'm trying to work through some stuff but sometimes it's getting ridiculous.

This morning I went to Tesco to buy some yoghurt, then I picked it up and I was looking at it and I thought the plastic around the pot was a bit sharp and i wasnt sure it was sealed right, so I started to peel the flap back and it stopped, obviously unless you pull it to open, but it paniked me and I checked another one.

I ended up buying all 9 of that type of yoghurt they had, and I'm just going to throw them away?

Also, its a strawberry flavour, and one of them looked a bit stained but I dont think I bought that one.

I just worry about my hands touching them, then not wanting someone else to buy it after I've touched them, I still think there's more in the shop that I peeled that flap up to check so I want to go back and buy them too.

I'm really paniking

[mummyoftwogirls]

OCD again.... Posting again is a compulsion .

You now what you have to do . Go and eat one of those yogurts !!

[Gemzi3]

I dont mind eating them it's the ones in the shop that are still there that I've touched, and that mabye checked that it was sealed, I'm worried by checking them I've made them unseal so they'll let in stuff and someone will get ill from eating one?

I've been washing my hands alot recently and the skin on them is flaking, I'm so worried about picking up yoghurts and then someone eating one.

[Gemzi3]

One had like strawberry stains on it and I dont think I've bought that one, I want to find it because i dont think its sealed properly

[mummyoftwogirls]

Stop posting gem . Go and distract yourself x

[Gemzi3]

I'm at work right now.

I really don't know in my head if what I'm saying is dangerous to people's health or not.

If a yoghurt in a shop is open a bit, air can get it, making it go bad, anything, chemicals, can get into it and cause disease.

I really don't know what to do

[Guest ADD]

I used to be just like you Gem! And I'm not anymore at all. There is hope for you also.

I used to be so paranoid about things like food. I'd examine the containers for any signs of being unsealed or for any holes or punctures in them. Whenever I would buy a bottle of water or other bottled drink I'd carefully twist off the cap while looking at it closely to make sure it was definitely sealed and I was breaking the seal. Though so many times I forgot to pay attention to that and just mindlessly opened the drink and then couldn't remember if I noticed the seal break. I'd think, that opened so easily, was the seal already broken? Then I'd keep opening and closing the cap to try to determine if the unsealed cap felt different to twist off and was easier to turn than what I recalled it was like when I first opened it. Sometimes the doubt would be too much that I'd throw it away and not risk it.

I'd do the same thing with other foods also. Sometimes with products like that, the seal would not be tight and would be loose on one side. Mostly cause the liquidy food product itself would loosen the seal. Though I'd be too paranoid about it and check other ones to make sure they were all the same way, just like you did. And if I'd buy a tube of toothpaste or something and open the cap and there was no extra tin seal over the top when I opened it, I would Need to know if it was supposed to be that way before I'd use it. So I wouldn't even use it until I made it back to the store to check the other ones in the store to make sure they also didn't come with the extra seal. I also hated buying hair care and skin care products cause most of them never have seals. There as no way to know if someone opened them or not.

I even had the same types of issues with hyper responsibility and worrying about others. Like initially returning a product because I was paranoid about it, and sometimes I'd of had the product in my car and out of the fridge for a while. Then after I returned it I would start getting doubts and paranoia that the store didn't discard it and what if they put it back on the shelf and someone else buys it? Often that doubt would stop me from even bothering to return it and simply toss it instead.

And I had over handwashing to the point of bleeding and cracks and pain.

You can get better and beat these doubts!

[Gemzi3]

That's exactly how I feel.

I've done that with Water bottles too.

I dropped a tin of beans the other day , but I bought them anyway, because I was worried about someone else, then i just threw them away.

How do you overcome this? I'm so worried about the yoghurts in the shop still, i hope I'm explaining it right, if you peel back a yoghurt lid before you break the seal, I'm worried about some of the seals in the shop being broken, and it being my fault - how can I not worry about that if I was touching them and examining them?

I don't like just saying, oh ok someone might get ill and die, that thought just depresses me and makes me not want to do anything because it would be my fault?

[Gemzi3]

struggling, worrying about things being unsealed in the shop or things ive touched

[Gemzi3]

Bought loads of yoghurts cause I thought the seal were broke on them. Don't ask. So then there's no more strawberry yogurts. When I went back someone had took a peach one. What happened If they wanted strawberry but I'd bought all the strawberry so they took peach but there allergic to peach and die? That's how it gets. Hope a sleep will help.

my boyfriend is Livid at me. I need to calm down. He doesn't deserve this.

[Northern Star]

Hi Gemzi,

I'm sorry you're struggling so much .

Something I do with my contamination OCD that I'm being taught not to do, is taking responsibility for everyone around me. We're all responsible for ourselves and no-one else. Eg if I don't wash my hands before eating and then get a stomach bug, that's my responsibility. If I've not washed my hands when OCD has been screaming at me, and someone else doesn't wash their hands before eating and gets a stomach bug, that's their responsibility. Does that make sense? I'm so busy trying to "protect" everyone else, when in fact we can each only be responsible for ourselves.

[Guest ADD]

Aww! You'll be ok Gem!

Hyper responsibility and guilt is a difficult thing to deal with in OCD and very very common.

I'm sure intellectually you know if someone was allergic to something they would not buy it in the first place, people are capable of taking care of themselves and taking their own risks. Not your responsibility. As far as opening the seals of the other products, I'm not sure exactly what you mean, though I'm assuming that also was only a doubt and that you didn't actually rip the seal off each one. If you had, then anyone who bought it would be able to see that and then it'd be there choice and responsibility to return it to the store or toss it or to take the risk and it'd likely be alright in any of the choices. Those things sell fast and as long as they are kept in the fridge as they are in the store, they'll be fine. Even well packaged food spoils all the time and I see stores selling products that have spoiled or even ones that have been expired for a while, cause the employees had not noticed these things. Though shoppers will notice those things and make their own choices.

This responsibility stuff makes us so neurotic and such control freaks. Need to relax and let chances happen, let others decide things for themselves and look after and protect themselves and take risks.

We can't predict everything, we can't prevent everything. Every choice we make is rolling the dice in life and chance and could all potentially have effects or not on others, often good, sometimes not so good. There are domino effects of things. Though bottom line is we can't predict these things and know everything and can't control all the effects or outcomes. We fear the power we have in the world and the possible unintentional effects. Though that is just the way life is. We deserve to be here and to have effects on things and others just as much as anyone and to make mistakes. We're all part of the same game of chance. It can be scary to think about it too deeply or in details like that (our minds are such powerful analysts). That is why other people don't think much about these things and fear all the choices they make or mistakes they might make and the domino possible effects etc.

How do you overcome it? One, by letting go and letting god as they say! Stop taking the blame and responsibility for everything. And secondly, by doing what other people do and not thinking about such things, not thinking about the details. Try not to think about all of this stuff, it'll drive you crazy and get you stuck in fear and dysfunction. So ignore it and don't think about those things.

[Gemzi3]

That's so massively helpful and that someone has been the same,

how do I not worry though about someone having ab allergic reaction to peach? If the strawberry was always there like always then they wouldn't have picked peach and it would be my fault?

I don't like this feeling that my compulsion ( buying the rest of the yoghurts) can effect someone else? Which it can?

[Gemzi3]

I'm really worrying about this.

it feels too hard to,keep going sometimes

[Guest ADD]

That's so massively helpful and that someone has been the same,

how do I not worry though about someone having ab allergic reaction to peach? If the strawberry was always there like always then they wouldn't have picked peach and it would be my fault?

I don't like this feeling that my compulsion ( buying the rest of the yoghurts) can effect someone else? Which it can?

Faulty assumptions about people and situations. You're making up some totally fabricated story that never even happened. It's only your OCD throwing out a what if (insert worse case scenario). That is what it does. Has nothing to do with reality. People are not stupid and you don't need to do the thinking and deciding for them. If someone doesn't want peach they would not pick it regardless of what other ones were available or not. If they're allergic to peaches they would not pick peach simply cause it was the only available flavor at the time.

"I'm allergic to peaches and go into convulsions when I eat them, though darn it, it's the only flavor they have right now, so I guess I have to buy it and make myself suffer seeing I can't choose another flavor. I mean it's not like I could go without yogurt today or go to another store or choose a different brand of it. I have to have this brand of yogurt today from this store and since my only choice of it will give me an allergic reaction I guess I have to suffer....." lol

People are capable of protecting themselves and looking after themselves, you don't have to do it for them. Relax.

Edited June 20, 2014 by ADD

[Gemzi3]

That actually made me giggle. Great advice.

I guess I worry about they don't know their allergic to peach and there finding out and its my fault. Because of my ocd action?

its causing me so much distress

[Guest ADD]

Peaches are very common fruits, they would of tried it before in their lifetime. If they by an extremely very small chance had not ever tried peach before and didn't know they had an allergy to it, then now they would know and be able to get treatment for it and know to stay away from it in the future, especially in larger amounts.

Maybe you saved someone who was allergic to strawberry who would of bought the strawberry had you not removed that danger for them.

[Gemzi3]

New day and im still struggling massively with this thought.

i feel my ocd compulsion could have killed someone and that i should have been able to resist the compulsion better.

i feel sick and my heart has been beating so hard i cant stop worrying.

[Gemzi3]

Its not going away i really need help. I know ab allergy to peach can kill?

[Guest ADD]

http://s21.postimg.org/4aslhpb5j/781350646.jpg

[Guest ADD]

Its not going away i really need help. I know ab allergy to peach can kill?

http://s8.postimg.org/4z4mafz91/781351293.jpg

[Gemzi3]

Ive felt sick all day. I cant go on like this why did i buy all the strawbery yoghurts this is all my fault

[Gemzi3]

http://s21.postimg.org/4aslhpb5j/781350646.jpg

[PolarBear]

I'm going to help by not helping.

[Guest MrsF]

You don't have to suffer like this - please find out about accessing CBT. Ive been reading all of your posts - I've been through all the gut wrenching anxiety you are going through - CBT sorted it out and after 20 plus years of similar traumas to yours. I understand its difficult with a new job but your health and wellbeing should be paramount and a few months of help now can give you a lifetime of being free from this monster. Take care.