Existential OCD

[imhotep79]

Has anyone battled with this particular theme? For me, it stemmed from my fear of schizophrenia and related crazy thoughts...I've always been a thinker in my life and pondering about the meaning of existence, our role in the universe etc. never bothered nor scared me.

With Ocd, however, it's a different thing, and these thoughts now scare me very much because I can't prove them 100% false as much as I try. Here are a few examples (possible trigger warning):

- What is life? What is a soul?

- Does God exists? If yes, what is His purpose?

- How do I know everything is real? I may be imagining everything

- How do I know I'm really alive? Maybe I'm already dead.

- What if this is a computer simulation created by an advanced race to test me?

- What if I'm the only one real and other people are an illusion, or actors, or automatons (Descartes solipsim theories)

Well I don't really believe the thoughts and I know that everything is real etc. but the nagging doubt, that 0,00000000001% possibility that things could be different makes my anxiety skyrocket, like it becomes 50% when I'm obsessing about it! Is it normal that when in the grip of anxiety the thoughts become more threatening? They feel more "realistic"?

Thank you.

[Guest Erik197834]

I am battling the same as you know. The following reasoning has helped me. I found that it helped me

to have some answers, but also to endure the anxiety.

On Solipsism;

- If everything is a figment of your imagination, then solipsism is also a figment of your imagination. It

contradicts itself.

- A solopsist can not say that he is a solopsist, because he then says that he is different from the rest/remaining.

- How did a solopsist come to existence?

- Where is his reference? How does he know what a tree is?

- Why does he need language?

- Why is the world seemingly build around the notion of more then one person?

- Why does he need air, food and water?

- Why does he need to use the toilet?

- Why doesn't he know everything in detail?

- Why can he be surprised?

- Why can't he put a stop to anxiety?

The list goes on and on....

You are right, when anxiety skyrockets the whole notion get's more threatening. More real so to speak.

But now that I am more at ease, the whole notion of solipsism seem very far fetched.

How are you doing?

Greetings, Erik

[Guest Erik197834]

And I bet that you found the word Automatons on the internet

[imhotep79]

Hi Erik! Thanks for the reply! Right now I'm on Anafranil + a low dosage of Klonopin and most of the days I'm fine, howver, sometimes I still have some existential or crazy thoughts and if they are "bizarre" or preoccupying enought to make me feel anxious, I tend to fixate on them

Yes, I found the word on the net and also because in the years I studied Descartes and many other philosophers...That is, when my Ocd didn't care about theories on reality...now that I obsess about existentialism, I swear I'll never touch a philosophy book anymore, eheh

Your reasoning about confuting solipsism is right! But I've learned to not argue with Ocd because it tends to give even less logic explanations and strenghtens its grip on me...Ocd it's like some sort of mobile sands, the more I try to react, the more I sink.

[PolarBear]

The best thing you can do is not get drawn into a mental debate with yourself over existence. Tell yourself, "Maybe I"m really a marshmallow," then refuse to get drawn into a debate. That debating is the compulsion and only serves to reinforce the obsession over there being something wrong with existence.

[imhotep79]

Right on, PolarBear! As I've learned, logic and arguing are things to avoid with Ocd, because this only gives more importance to the thoughts.

Still, the temptation to debate is there and sometimes I still find myself automatically arguing in my mind or even simply saying to myself "No! It's not true! Don't think these crazy thoughts!"

If I manage to permanently block the mental compulsions, I'm sure my obsessions will disappear too.