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Guest angie2676

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Guest angie2676

Good day everyone! I wanted to take some time to introduce myself. I'm Angie, from Srilanka, 30 years old and suffering from OCD since the age of 10. It all started as my parents would have severe fights in my growing up years. I was always worried that my mother would get killed. This thought frightened me so much that it caused my OCD. My mom became afflicted with a lifelong disease and its complications and became hospitalised at regular intervals. These were times of extreme trauma to me. My OCD would worsen at this time. I became obsessed with death. It still terrifies me when I see a shrieking ambulance, a hearse van. I think there are times when I actually see signs of death. It happened 3 years ago when 3 relatives of mine passed away within an year. I would see signs such as death in movies, newspapers, dreams and this would frighten me. Strangely, after seeing these signs those relatives passed away. Now it causes me severe trauma when I see signs of death. Its happening to me again now, and my mother is again unwell. So I am extremely worried and seeing signs of death, even my mother talking about it. I don't know how to overcome this obsession. I am depressed, cannot wake up early, cannot sleep well. It is affecting my daily routine, worklife, my relationship with friends and family. People think I'm crazy when I say that I feel weird as if something may happen. At times like this I wonder if this is part of my OCD or a warning from god or something like that. I also feel the necessity of visiting a place of worship every single day. If I dont do this ritual, I've seen bad things happen to my family. There are times when I cannot go but a voice forces me to go. I have this voice in my head telling me that I'm a bad person if I dont go, and that its the voice of god that I would be punished if I dont listen. The strange thing is bad things do happen when I disagree. I want to overcome all these issues and dont know how. Has anyone of you been through this? Thanks.

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Guest Whizz4848

Hi Angie welcome to the forum. Its not god or any messages from elsewhere your suffering form OCD thoughts, which seem clearly linked to your experiences of life and the difficulties and traumas you have experienced. You're not crazy either, your like many of us here, having a hard time with those thoughts and their meanings.

The compulsions are also part of the OCD. Are you getting any help from anyone? Professional or otherwise as this would certainly be my advice in terms ofa starting point for you?

Best wishes

Whizz

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Guest Adam Samson

Hello Angie,

Welcome to the forum. :original:

I haven't suffered with the same type of fears as you but I do have my own set of fears which makes me feel horrible so I do sympathise with you. Have you talked to a doctor yet about your anxieties? If not, is it possible you could do that? I'm not sure what medical services are available in Indonesia for helping people with OCD. If you can find an understanding doctor I think that would be a good step for you to take next.

If that is impossible, then don't worry - some people with OCD can get a lot better through reading self-help books and internet articles, and through the support and advice of fellow sufferers on a forum like this.

Best wishes to you.

Adam

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Guest Emilystars

Hi, hoping you'll manage to find some support. I think many of your fears sound like a natural response to trauma - and think you'd really benefit from talking about all this with someone. Have you had any grievance counselling? You have suffered a lot of loss. Your responses sound very OCD. I hope you manage to find support here. All the best to you

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Guest angie2676

Thank you all. I only need someone to talk to time and again. I think I have bugged friends and colleagues so much with my problems but they cannot relate to these issues. Hope I get some insights from here.

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