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ocdlost

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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    Male
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    UK

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  1. There is no such thing as orgasm magic but people like crowley wrote about it and books.... lots of books... I dont know how to... escape this fear. Does anyone have issues when having sex aswell ?
  2. Listen... I do no compulsion. I just keep seeing "bizarre coincidences" related to my fear of killing someone by having sex. Example : I bought an item, when I said thanks, I heard a discussion near me, a guy was saying "and that person will die..." exactly when I said thanks When I got back home with that item... I said, I don't believe in this ****.... and my cat somehow touched a skeleton figurine on the desk, which fell on the ground. EXACTLY when I said in my mind " I dont believe in this " IT ALWAYS HAPPENS LIKE THIS ! EACH TIME I DONT WANT TO BELIEVE IN THIS OCD, THESE "BIZARRE COINCINDENCES" HAPPEN. HOW IN THE HELL COULD I EXPLAIN THEM ??????????????? EVERY TIME, THEY HAPPEN. I had sex with a girl one year ago, after the coincidences... I was sure someone will die. I went home, everything was fine. Opened the news program : a person died after an explosion to a building... exactly at the time when this girl arrived back in her city (she was from another city), and guess what ? it was the SAME CITY I had sex with this other girl a few months ago, after the coincidences (signs)... I was doing some compulsions, I said **** it ! i dont believe in this anymore. After 3 days she told me she will go to a funeral of one of her uncle's son died. I cant take this anymore.... I simply dont know if this is OCD or orgasm magick
  3. So I have this sex-related OCD issue since 2010. It all started when, in one night, I was having a severe depression... dindn't masturbate for a time. Then when I decided in that night to masturbate and when I put my hands in my pants, my little brother who was sleeping in another room (it was impossible for him to know what I was doing) yelled in his sleep : NOO ! I then stoped and ran away to see what happened, he was crying, said he had a nightmare with me that I was with him and wanting to do something bad..... Since then I thought that it was a sign that if I masturbated in that severe depressive state, it would have caused something bad to happen. Then after a few months I read on the internet about sex magick and orgasm magick and how people can create events with the power of orgasm. I then felt destroyed, I stoped masturbating, each time I masturbated, I feared that my ocd thoughts could create something bad... sometimes there were events that were pretty linked to my ocd thought when I masturbated and sometimes I avoided having sex with some girls because I feared I would KILL PEOPLE by having sex. (sex magick) It`s been like the 7th girl I dumped when we were about to make sex because instantly bizzare - death related coincidences would struck me before we were to have sex. How can someone explain to me these coincidences ? How could I stop this ? I am going insane, I can't avoid having sex anymore, I will be old one day and I want to have sex... All I feel when I think of sex / masturbation is guilt. Please help me How can I escape this nightmare ? How can I know that sex magick / orgasm magick is not real and my fear will not cause deaths / bad events ?
  4. Does anyone here get intense guilt after a long period of ocd, even with no obsessions ? like, i dont feel having an obsession, but I feel guilty for no reason
  5. I can smile a lot but when I get to meet someone I cannot even move myface when my heat pumps a lot, I don't know why. It's not ocd related and please delete this thread if it's forbidden to post such things here. But it is causing me a lot of pain because I cant smile in those situations. It lasts like 10-20 min after the proper meeting and then it seems I can smile properly. Any ideas ?
  6. That is sarcasm I guess. It is not ocd related
  7. I know it is not striclty ocd related, please forgive me but it's too painful to bear and I want to ask this. Does anyone know what is causing this problem to me ? I am kinda social phobic but not a normal social phobic. Each time I meet people that I haven't met for a long time, I cannot smile. My heart pumps and I feel very nervous. I don't know why I cannot smile. Even if it is about my parents and not a girl or something ! Somehow, my brain blocks the ability to smile and I feel pathetic. Because everyone smiles when they meet each other but I can't. Why ?
  8. Hello everyone, I dont want to post my full obsession here but just a question. Do you think there are traces of blood or sperm on people's smartphones or tablets ? I mean ... not everyone washes them each time they have some blood on their fingers or sperm let`s say, very small amounts of unnoticeable sperm? (sorry for the content)
  9. ya i get it while i do sex, sometimes is annoying. the best way is to ignore the thoughts
  10. What about anxiety, have you guys had anxiety for more than one month regarding one particular compulsion ? example : i go to a job and i feel that someone will happen something bad because I go to that job because I saw a 'bad omen' when i picked this job. (i know the omen is a stupid thing) and i still feel that sometime that person will happen something bad. have you guys got this for a long time ?
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