I ruined the first few days of my family weekend

[mummyoftwogirls]

I ruined the first few days of my family weekend as the morning of going away with them I had a major trigger, I feel a little different to everyone on here my triggers are usually something that could be something worrying but usually my mind / fear jumping to the worst conclusion if that makes sense ? But always relates to the original same obsession / thought.

It was almost like I was looking for something??? I’m not sure if its a anxiety I get subconsciously but my mum pointed out that every time I go away I get a major trigger beforehand and she’s right I’m always so worried I’m going to have a trigger and ruin the holiday and then it happens . Is this even possible? My mind twists innocent events into something major that fits into my obsession luckily I’m seeing this trigger now as an exaggeration but its left me on high alert again and unsure. Just feeling so tearful at the moment :-( I wish I had a normal life.

[taurean]

Well, there is some good to this, because if you know that going away is likely to cause a trigger, then perhaps you can work out what is the cause specifically, and seek to suppress blowing it up - which is exagerration/catastophising dysfunctional thinking..

I do this - unwillingly - as well - brains make connections to distress we don't want them to - so we need to look at how to dumb down/ refocus to minimise that.

Edited September 2, 2014 by taurean

[Guest Readyforchange]

Your situation sounds very much like mine and I'm feely very weepy at the moment too.

:hug:

My triggers are also things that 'could' be something worrying but I completely blow them out of proportion and catastrophise that the worst is going to happen. I notice that I tend to get a lot worse when I first wake up and when I'm cuddling up/falling asleep with my baby. I think its because subconsciously thats when I feel at my most vulnerable and then my anxiety makes me 'scan' for danger. And guess what? When I go looking for something to worry about I'll always find something!

I also always go up a level with my GAD and OCD when there is a key event like a holiday/family birthday/family visiting etc which often has a knock effect to those around me too which always just makes me feel so guilty and therefore just adding to my stress.

Are you having any treatment at all?

X

[Running Lover]

I did the exact same thing recently and I do it every time I'm going somewhere I'm looking forward to without fail and have done for as long as I can remember. 18th, 21st, trips travelling overseas, child being born, I've allowed it to destroy some of the best things in life which I spend a lot of time feeling guilty and devastated about. Now it stops me from wanting to plan adventures as I know it will happen. I think I would like more children but won't because I know it will happen and the whole experience is too traumatic. I didn't realise the going away thing was something other people did?? I even start doubting my relationships with loved ones whilst I'm away and feel the need to confess everything and all I want to do is have fun. I feel for you I really do but don't let it do to you what it's done to me.

[mummyoftwogirls]

thanks everyone

[Ascend]

Triggers are the best time to practice what you've learnt. View them as a challenge rather than a dip in recovery.

[Guest Adam Samson]

I’m not sure if its a anxiety I get subconsciously but my mum pointed out that every time I go away I get a major trigger beforehand and she’s right I’m always so worried I’m going to have a trigger and ruin the holiday and then it happens .

This happens with me too. Not when I'm about to go on holiday but when I'm about to eat a meal. I become more vulnerable to triggers just before and during mealtimes. At those times triggers occur more often and they have a bigger impact on me. A tiny thing that I wouldn't think twice about if it occurred any other time seems devastating just before I start eating and I find it hard to just ignore it. I want so much to be able to enjoy food without getting anxious about damaging the inside of my mouth. I've forgotten what it's like to be able to sit back and enjoy a meal in peace. When I eat a meal I am constantly on edge - I'm on the lookout for anything that might worry me and spoil my enjoyment, which of course makes it more likely to happen. I cause it to happen by being so nervous of it happening. I've lost count of the number of times I've been eating my favourite delicious food and it's been totally ruined because I've got myself into a gruelling battle with anxiety. To other people it probably seems like a little problem but the fretting and turmoil it causes me are so intense that sometimes I could gladly give up eating altogether just to avoid the anguish it causes. However, I persevere and overall I am making small steps to improve.

I just wanted to suggest to you that a strong positive approach beforehand makes a difference. The more you cower in trepidation and fear that something will go wrong to spoil your holiday, the more likely it will happen. You and I (in our separate contexts) need to grasp the nettle firmly by the hand and adopt a decisive, confident, positive, and determined attitude that we won't succumb and we will enjoy what we are looking forward to and we refuse to let any triggers get the better of us. (I'm preaching to myself here - I really need to hear this message myself!) The more we are frightened of OCD, the more vulnerable we make ourselves to it. It's called phobophobia (fear of fear), isn't it?