OCD & Intrusive Thoughts?

[Guest jamm]

So I'm 15 and for the past few months I've had bad intrusive thoughts mainly to do with harming off people (family), paedophilia and general things like obsessing over the future and focusing on not having the life I want. I know and I tell myself frequently that no I would never do such things because it disgusts me and anything to do with pedophiles in the past has made me sick to my stomachache and I've never thought about stuff like that before. So the fact I've had harmful thoughts like this scares me to the point of getting really bad anxiety. It comes in bursts and I always manage to convince myself that no that is not me thinking those things because I know I am not capable of doing anything off the type but then when I remember I had the thoughts in the first place it makes me think well anyone who has those thoughts is capable, right? and it starts the cycle over again. I've also started to feel to the extent of depression and thinking of how it would be better if I wasn't alive to have thoughts like this. I went on this site and realised many of the things I'm talking about are all symptoms with OCD and I realised as a child I had thoughts like how 'I swear on my life I will stab someone' and other things that didn't calm down until I told my parents. But now I'm worried how do I approach my parents and say 'I think I have OCD' and try to explain these thoughts without seeming crazy or disturbed. The thought of having OCD for the rest of my life and such terrifying thoughts makes me panic because I don't want them but I also don't want to be in denial. I hope someone can help!

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi jamm, welcome to the forums!

Thank you for being so honest and sharing with us what you are going through at the moment. My son is also 15 and was diagnosed at the age of 10 with OCD. I know he would be able to identify a lot with what you have shared. He struggled with harming thoughts, obsessing over the future, not wanting to waste his life etc., as well as many other fears and obsessions. Thankfully, he was able to share with us how he was feeling. Although it was hard for us to hear, it meant that we were able to get him the right help. We knew something was not right and that he was struggling and to have a diagnosis was a huge help! He had cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and was able to learn how to deal with the OCD and get his life back. Really... OCD is not a big part of his life anymore! You are right... all of us have random thoughts that pop into our head. But with OCD, that thought becomes stuck and becomes huge and you attach too much importance to it and find it hard to let it go. That then produces anxiety and fear and makes you do or think things to counteract the thought. But it is possible to learn how to deal with the anxiety and resist doing the rituals.

Many young people struggle with how to tell their parents... there are some leaflets on our main website that you might find helpful: http://www.ocduk.org/parents-guide-to-ocd that one is for parents. There is a leaflet for young people too: http://www.ocduk.org/young-peoples-ocd-guide which you might find useful to read.

I would really encourage you to talk to them, that way you will be on your way to getting help. Remember your parents love you and will want to support you all they can. Please let us know how you get on.

[Guest jamm]

Hi! I tell my parents everything and decided to tell them last night about how I might have OCD. It was hard to explain but they was saying how everyone gets thoughts but they understand that obsessing over them and obsessing over things like that isn't exactly normal (especially on the worrys of pedophilia) I'm usually really open and not being able to say anything was driving me crazy. I realised I am pretty good with dealing with things so when it started a few months back I haven't picked up on it much since and until I'm left to stew in my own thoughts and that's when the anxiety hits where as usually id just discard it like 'no it's not me'. I told my mum I would prefer it if she did look on this website as reassurance and to get across what I couldn't say and she's booked me a doctors appointment. I'm really worried because I don't in

[Guest jamm]

((Oops I accidentally deleted the last part))

... But yea I'm not sure what to tell the doctor because you can't sugar coat it with them and it's a hard topic to discuss as such. I seem to be ranting but I can relate to your son pretty well in some aspects and I just needed some place I could tell everything, sorry but thanks for reading!!

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi again! Well done on speaking to your parents! I am so glad you have an appointment. It is hard to talk to the doctor but they will have heard very similar things before. If it helps, you could write it all down (or type it out) and give it to the doctor, if you find it hard to say these things out loud. We did that when we saw the psychiatrist with our son.

I am sure your parents will be a huge support to you now they know what you are going through. I look forward to hearing how things go for you. Take care.

[Northern Star]

Hi jamm,

I too am glad that you've told your parents and have a doctor's appointment. I remember the first time I went to the doctor about my OCD I couldn't get my words out and left feeling deflated because I'd wanted to tell her about my symptoms but hadn't managed to. The second time I still couldn't really find the words so I just blurted out, "I think I have OCD," and she referred me to a mental health specialist. I didn't take anyone along with me though, which may be why I found it so hard. Are you going to take your mum or dad with you, or would you find it easier to talk to the doctor alone? I might be wrong, but I think there may be a GP icebreaker sheet on the main OCD-UK website that focusses specifically on intrusive thoughts. If not, there is definitely a general icebreaker that you might find useful.

I wish you the best of luck, it takes a lot of courage to face OCD and I wish I had had your courage when I was your age!!

Edited October 29, 2013 by Northern Star

[Guest romolasgarai]

All I can say is: same.

We'll get better!!!

[Guest thismomentabadwolfburns]

OCD is an embarrassing disorder, especially since most of the topics which your brain thinks about are either disgusting or disturbing or both. It's hard to talk to people because you either think or know they won't understand. And they can't really understand it unless they have it, considering the fact that the thoughts going through the head of an OCD person are not rational. You tell yourself that you don't want to think about these things and that they aren't who you are and to stop worrying but you cant because your brain just doesn't seem to want to listen. I've thought about most of the things you are talking about, jamm, and it's really important to remember that those thoughts aren't you. Through therapy and medication and whatnot, it is possible to control these thoughts and rein them in. They ARE NOT pleasant by any means, but it is possible to keep them out of your head. it just takes tons of practice and an arsenal of techniques. i was so overwhelmed when i first went into therapy, but keeping with the techniques and everything has really helped. You just need to get over the hump.

[Guest thinkingandthinking]

I know this thread is a bit older, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I have thoughts similar (usually I myself am not present within the thought, but it is still very disturbing) and think that I should kill myself to rid the world of potential threat/so I don't have to think anymore. I know I couldn't bring myself to do that just like I could never hurt a child or my family in any way. The doubt still seeps in and I feel guilty if I'm happy or having fun. Keep fighting and I'll be fighting with you!