ocd intruding on my life again please help

[tia123]

I haven't been on the site for quite a while but my Ocd is really kicking in today. I moved last May from the other side of the world and have started a totally new life and career. I now work with people that have an intellectual disability and I love what I do, it is so rewarding, However, I'm letting my ocd win by engaging the thoughts etc. It's something that happened last night that is causing anxiety, We went to a disco last night where the clients get to have a good time with their friends. One of the clients was sat next to me. she is tactile and loves touching my hair. She took a hold of my trouser leg above the knee and started rubbing her fingers together with the material in between, like a comforting action. She also started to scratch the back of my leg just above the knee. I didn't really really think anything of it. However one of my work colleagues was sat opposite and she said to the client to keep her hands to herself. Should I have said something?, have I done anything wrong. Loads more questions in my head going around and around.

Please help, I need some advice.

[tia123]

I don't have anyone that I can confine in. My ex partner was the person I could trust, but we split up over two years ago.

[Guest lizinlondon]

I used to work with teenagers with learning disabilities. They were always touching and hugging me. They are often very tactile and affectionate. Sometimes I got thoughts like you are having but I did not let it interfere with my job. The way I reasoned it, was that I knew if any lines between playful and sexual were being crossed, and so I would never let them cross those lines. It is just something I learned to be aware of.

I would leave this thought you are having well alone, don't engage with it or worry about it. You did not do anything wrong. With experience you will learn how to deal with these situations, you have awareness and self control.

You are obviously a caring person, so don't let OCD get in the way of you caring for your clients.

[tia123]

Thank you so much for your reply

I wont dwell on the thought.

I really hate Ocd.

Thanks again

[whitebeam]

Hi Tia

I used to teach in special ed - mostly with very young children but for a short time with 15 - 16 year old children, all with severe learning difficulties. Some of the children were always tactile and used to hug us, put their arms around us, stroke our arms, hair etc - I can't remember details as I am talking about over 20 years ago. We did use to tell them that this was not appropriate but things were different then - and we weren't under the same scrutiny as people are these days.

I don't think you were doing anything wrong - but I would probably suggest that you do explain (I know not easy when these kids/young adults are concerned) that it isn't appropriate and try to stop them. I do believe it is inappropriate - we try to encourage them to behave as we would expect any other teens/young adults etc to behave.

These days, people who work with vulnerable others - or children - are under such scrutiny and allegations can be and are made. People - teachers, carers, and so on - must be so careful and not put themselves into a vulnerable position.

Please don't dwell on what has happened - I know how OCD can twist things. Also, this has happened and can't be changed. I am not in any way saying that you have done anything wrong.

I wonder if you could speak to your supervisor, team leader and ask what their guidance would be? Organisations must have procedures and so on but my advice would be to discourage this tactile behaviour of your clients.

By the way, you have done so well to move and live on the other side of the world.Where are you from? Did you have OCD then or have you since developed it? Good luck with this new career path and enjoy your career - as you say, it can be so rewarding.

Take care

whitebeam

[tia123]

Hello thank you for your reply I am 45 and had ocd since the age of 8 years old, every type that you can think of Ive had it. I have managed to keep it under control for many months now. However this episode has really got me. I feel that I have done something wrong and I am a terrible person. I am 8x 25mg of Clomipramine a day and have been on this medication for many years. I have had counselling before which really didn't help me. The only person that I could you talk to about my ocd was my ex partner, who I split from over two years ago, after being together for 11 years. Thank you so much for replying to me it is greatly appreciated.

[Guest lizinlondon]

Take it easy Tia. You are going through a hard time. My OCD gets worse with stress and loneliness too. Your OCD is making you feel you have done something wrong. That is what OCD does. What you can do is ask your.manager for some.guidance in how to handle these kind of situations. This will give you confidence and make you sure that you did nothing wrong.

You are doing a good thing caring for these clients, don't let OCD distort your perceptiobs and spoil it for you.

[whitebeam]

Bless you, Tia. I am so sorry - i hope I haven't made you feel worse. I really don't think you have done anything wrong - you are not a terrible person.

As Liz has said, speak with your manager for guidance on this issue. My opinoions are only that - my opinions and advice. Your work situation should be under the procedures of your organisation.

OCD is a vicious disorder - i guess you know more than most - since you've had it since you were 8.

Clomipramine (225mg per day) really helped me - saved my life, gave me back my life - I truly hope it does the same for you.

I'm sorry your relationship has ended. Again, i know how difficult this is and I hope you will soon feel stronger and happier and find others to confide in.

Take care

whitebeam

[tia123]

Anymore advice would be appreciated. Ive had a worried, anxious fuelled day.

[Guest legend]

The key to getting better from ocd tia. is gaining knowledge about the disorder , and work at changing the way

we are responding to it , when we do get caught in the grips of ocd

What would you suggest is a wise ,challenging way forwards in this situation ?

[tia123]

To not engage the thought and the obsession? Just to ignore them

[Guest legend]

To not engage the thought and the obsession? Just to ignore them

easier said than done , ( if only ) especially when caught in the grips of the bully

But you can work at changing after the event , and work at recognising the signs when it does happen

[tia123]

Ok I will try my best.

Do you think I have done anything wrong that is what is eating me up at the moment.

[Guest legend]

By asking is , falling into the loops of ocd / reassurance so it wouldnt help to respond to that question ,driven

by the disorder , not you personally x

[PolarBear]

tia, your obsession is that you may have done something wrong that night. Your compulsions include ruminating about it (over thinking the situation and what you may have done wrong).

From the outside it is not the act that occurred that night that is the problem. It is your reaction to it. You keep going over this in your head when most people would have forgotten about it by now.

Legend is quite correct that answering your question, "Have I done wrong," is pointless. That is reassurance seeking and it won't work. The answer may make you feel better temporarily, but you'll end up right back at the place you are now, thinking you may have done something wrong. Then it becomes an endless cycle of reassurance seeking.

What you need to do is change your behavior and your thoughts about the situation that night. I suggest you work on resisting ruminating. You have control over whether you ruminate or not. It takes practice but you can achieve a situation where you don't ruminate. When we ruminate we give attention to the obsession and that reinforces the belief that there was something wrong. Stop giving the obsession attention and it begins to wither.

[Guest lizinlondon]

Tia please try to stop thinking about it now. You do such great work. You are a caring person. Enjoy your job. Don't let OCD destroy things for you.

[tia123]

Thank you all so much

[Guest lizinlondon]

Your welcome, feel free to keep posting for support, that is what we are here for! :original:

[tia123]

I would totally be lost without this forum it is a godsend. Thank you all so very much for your advice and kind words, it means so much

I have had a better day today, it's like something has clicked in my brain. I feel as thought I have started living again and not jut existing, hope that makes sense. One day at a time.

[PolarBear]

That's exactly right, tia. One day at a time. You will have ups and you will have downs. You keep putting one foot in front of the other and work toward wellness.