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Inanimate Obsessor from Philadelphia


Guest George Bowling

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Guest George Bowling

Hullo fellow OCD'ers. I'm Abhi from Philadelphia and I happened to stumble upon this forum (probably like many others) through the unoriginal method of Google searching. Having lurked for about few hours over various threads this morning, my mind immediately said "yes" to the prospect of signing up and contribution, mainly in hope of either finding a remedy or indulging in creature comforts, and hopefully, without much shame, pity or embarrassment. That's the plan of the active mind anyways whilst some other part carries on with its remorseless rhythms.

This has probably been posted before, but I'm curious - is there anyone here whose mind keeps making pictures of inanimate objects, especially those in the periphery of your eyesight? As an example, to my extreme left is a door knob, the image of which keeps drifting into my imagination from time to time. If I succeed in suppressing that, the pencil to my right appears whilst I desperately struggle to focus on more important tasks. This produces the rather tedious habit of needing to hold the object in my hand for it to stop looping in my head. But then, the old bean finds something else to obsess over, like a ******** apple as I type this out. Probably the entire act of getting this out is feeding into the loop as well. What joy!

This is all still much better than a few years back, when sharper objects such as knives and needles kept floating in and out of my thoughts. The side-product of this is that I find it incredibly tiring to imagine and picture things, as any attempt in that direction also subsequently makes what I've described more intense. Not to mention, the pointless anxieties over events that in all probability won't even occur, the schoolboy-persecution like predicament imminent in social interactions and the odd hypochondriac episodes makes me...well, impotent. The sheer pointlessness of it all is almost amusing in a self-deprecating way.

Well, that's all for now. I hope the rest of you have succeeded in dodging your mindfields!

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Guest PaulE

Hi George , thats very interesting reading. It sounds like you go through hard times on a daily basis. I cant same ive got the same OCD as you and be able to help or give you advice..my OCD is more on the lines of gaving an internal planner and clock in my head. Its more keeping to routines to stop anxiety. In a way we both struggle but in different ways..any way, all the best to you...Paul

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Guest George Bowling

Heya PaulE. Aye, I do suffer almost daily. It's rather peculiar - if I were to do any physical activity, most of this looping of objects inside my head tends to dissipate, like foxes at the sound of nitroglycerin. But any hard thinking especially involving logic and reason often tends to spring this mind bogglingly silly repetition of images back to the forefront, which tends to cloud my brain and I end up being tired and frustrated. I guess the inanimate objects bit is a sort of an evolution from objects of self-harm to a more benign compulsion. I've yet to be diagnosed since I was clueless when I used to live back in my home country (India) and now that I've moved, I could seldom afford it.

Physical routines to keep anxieties down - how often have you tried to simply face those fears or anxieties, whichever they are, head on? Or is it something else that I'm misreading? I used to have terrible social anxieties, stage fright, inability to walk up to my boss and just ask/say things without getting my nerves into a twitter. But I started a routine from Conan Doyle's Brigadier Gerard, the protagonist of which repeats to himself "Courage, my brave boy, courage! You are a picked man, Etienne; a man who has come through more than two hundred affairs, and this little one is surely not going to be the last." Silly and laughable, I know, but something about it dissipates the "all eyes on me" sort of inwardness. But still, one longs for a day when all this time consuming piffle isn't necessary.

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