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impulses? harm ocd


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Hey guys, so this morning I was feeling ok thought wise but felt on edge and restless I get that a lot and it worries me that I'm restless to harm someone, any way I carried as normal mucking about with my hubby and recenmtly my intrusive thoughts have been about snapping necks (hated writing that!! :( ) and well I was sat on his lap mucking about and got what I can only describe as an impules to do snap his neck it wasn't a thoughts as such just the impulse to do it, now it felt extremely real and stopped me in my tracks and I haven't felt the same since I'm worried down but not majorly anxious but I have been thnking of ways to have my arnms cut off! Seriously I have! My ocd is focused around my kids so as you can imagen I'm very worried I'll just gte this impulse again but act the next time, now I know the usual cbt routes etc but to be quite honest they aren't working! I feel doomed and feel as thoiugh the constant thoughts of harming my loved ones has infact changed my brain and I'm now a violent horrible person who is no longer kind compasionate and would literally never even hurt a fly! To this imoral evil person! I'm trying my best to het through this but the thoughts I can deal with but this! No!! Xx

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What you have described is classic ocd. Uncertainty is at the core. You are uncertain as to whether you would act on the impulse. Something to think about is people who do snap necks don't worry about it. They just do it.

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If I asked you to imagine robbing a bank right now, could you? I bet you could, in fact because I mentioned it you probably are. I could too, I could go into great detail about how to do it, what steps to take, etc. In fact I just imagined it. And guess what? I'm not about to go actually rob a bank :)

One thing we OCDers struggle with is the separation of having a thought and taking an action. Having a thought means just that, you thought about something. You can think about lots of things, you do all the time, you've done it your whole life. You've had good thoughts and bad thoughts, but just having a bad thought doesn't mean you'll actually DO the bad thing. Most people at some point in their lives or other want to hit someone when they are angry, but you don't see people pounding on each other all the time. Then you have people like Stephen King who write stories where terrible things happen to people, yet he's not going out and committing crimes like they occur in his books. Having a thought about something and actually WANTING to do it are different. And even wanting to do something and actually DOING it are also different.

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I get this all the time vintage girl, if im stroking my sons arm i get an impulse to snap it, or I get impulses to punch him, its what if thoughts basically. I did a therapy called npr treatment and she told me that basically your brain doesnt realise its not real so you will get feelings in your body that reflect whats happening in your thoughts. Its like when youre watching a scary film, you know its not real but your body acts like it is, ie you jump or react with fear because the primitive part of your brain doesnt know the difference. Hope that helps a bit but dont know if ive explained it too well. I know its scary, it scares me but its ocd, it will make you doubt yourself, im exactly the same x

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Carlleo, you got it. People with ocd have a hard time differentiating between a thought and reality. Most people get intrusive thoughts but others brush them off. We take them as real.

Edited by PolarBear
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