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Know what the "non-OCD" way is


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Part of my problem with trying to tackle OCD is knowing what a reasonable response would be what I sometimes refer to as what would a non-OCD suffer do/not do, how would they respond in a particular situation or circumstance?

When I have had CBT sessions, read books etc. the approach Im given to take is to not respond to the thought or compulsion but rather allow the anxiety to ebb away, which then in theory allows you to take a response that isnt a response to or fuelled by OCD and/or anxiety (which would relieve the anxiety and so the vicious circle continues). The problem I have is Im never sure what to do after, even when the anxiety over or the situation has passed I still feel like I want to respond (e.g. clean), Im just not anxious about it! Whilst it seems great the anxiety has passed, Im still in the same situation I was in before, its just now the issue is of general concern or worry rather than of an obsessive and/or compulsive nature.

My OCD relate to cleanliness and I have a particular obsession with certain body fluids, and what I describe above has been particularly relevant the past few weeks. I noticed a mark on the front of a bedroom drawer, I wasnt too concerned initially and just wiped it off with a wet cloth. But then I started thinking about what it could have been (particularly when I considered what room it was in without going into detail I think you may be able to appreciate what I worried the mark might be), the mark was gone but was a wet cloth enough to clean it off? So I wiped the surface where it had been with some general cleaner, the surface looked fine but I noticed it felt different like it had been cleaned, and then realised it could be residue left from the cleaning (I cant exactly run it under a tap to rinse it!)

Initially I was quite anxious, the anxiety subsided but Im still left with the thought that the surface is dirty/contaminated to the residue left from wiping and perhaps I should clean it again and take extra steps to ensure removal of any residue. I know it cant cause me any physical harm/injury/illness, but I just feel like it could be contaminated from the residue and touching it and then other things will spread this contamination. If there was contamination for sure left, I think anyone would probably want to clean, but Im stuck at some sort of juncture.

I know seeking reassurance isnt the thing to do if youre trying to overcome OCD, but I do sometimes find myself in situations like this (maybe more or less intense) where I am no longer anxious but some concern remains (as if its now become one of those background concerns or worries of everyday life) and I literally dont know what I should/shouldnt do. I guess its a decision making problem and it often feels like the only way to remove this dilemma is to respond to the initial problem.

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The decision should be to refuse to engage in any further decision-making. You are right to try to normalise this - I suspect most people would now shrug this off without needing to know whatever it was. Maybe it was something icky, maybe it wasn't. So long as you're engaging with the thought of what it was and whether it needs dealing with you're keeping the thought very much alive. If you starve it of attention you will eventually stop needing to know. What it is is not the problem here - it's your need to know that is.

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So your anxiety goes away but you're still stuck wanting to perform compulsions. Nothing weird about that. They're still compulsions and should be resisted.

With your example, you saw a mark and you wiped it off. That was perfectly normal. Everything after that was due to OCD. Using a cleaner on it (after it had already been wiped off) was a compulsion. The desire to wash it further is another compulsion.

You must feel the 'urge' that comes along with compulsions. It's like a tugging that you have to do something to make the situation right. That's your clue that what you're contemplating is a compulsion and should be resisted.

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