Confused and need help with pocd :)

[Danoria]

Hello everybody!

I've been ocd-free for a year and that's why it's so scary to return in this condition. I have pure ocd... My spike is pedophilia. I am constantly worrying that I might be a pedo:( Sometimes it goes away and I even work with children because I'm a teacher. But today I saw a naked toddler and it spiked me..
I have no doctor in my country and I do everything myself. I just need some support from people who can understand me..

[PolarBear]

Welcome to the forum, Danaria.

We have had many people on the forum who suffer from the same OCD theme as you. I did for about 35 years. It can be very disheartening to have wicked thoughts about the little people in our lives. I know what it's like.

The good news is that you can learn to make peace with your thoughts. You do so by figuring out what compulsions you perform and resisting/stopping them. I know with that particular OCD theme my biggest compulsion was ruminating -- trying to work out what the thoughts mean and what they say about me as a person. That's something to work on stopping doing.

Remember that you are not responsible for the thoughts popping up. You don't want them and you do nothing that makes them show up. They are thrust upon you. However you need to deal with them.

Take care.

[Danoria]

Hi PolarBear!

Thanks a lot for your reply.. means a lot
Yes everybody can learn to make peace with their thoughts. I haven't had them at all, and if I did, it faded away immedeately. I don't know what happened, but it came back.
Yes, that's my compulsion too) I have GAD too and in dealing with it the clue is just not to argue with the anxiety, let it be, agree with everything. I Know that in OCD it works the same way. But takes time. It all takes time. Wishing it away is a common mistake.

What helped you the most?)
Thanks again

[PolarBear]

Danoria, I was one of the lucky few to have had a great reaction to medications. Taking meds reduced the number of obsessions and the amount of time spent on compulsions by about 80%. That still left 20% of up to hundreds of obsessions a day to deal with and for that I practiced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, along with Exposure and Response Prevention -- the two most recommended therapies for dealing with OCD.

[Danoria]

I've heard about CBT and ERP, but here in my country there are no therapists who heard about it.
Do you think it is possible to do it alone?

[PolarBear]

Yes it is. I know of people here on the forum who have done just that. It's a little harder because you don't have a therapist to rely on but it can be done. You're a teacher. Learn all that you can about CBT/ERP and develop a sound strategy to implement. We can help.

[Danoria]

Actually I've had the strategy that helped me.
On one forum I read one post that helped me. The tips were not to fight the thoughts, not to hide from them, embrace them, click at things that spike you and repeat every single time. Also the books of Claire Weekes are great.. With all these things I managed to recover! I'll do it again)
Just not sitting alone with it and talking to other sufferers helps me a lot)
Thank you