Jump to content

Just a little update x


Guest Saz

Recommended Posts

Still waiting for arrival of baby, she's now 4 days late! Can't even blame it on being a lazy boy either lol ;) x

Been doing good, no ruminating or trying to work out my false memory/intrusive thought and liking the fact that when I'm nice and calm I can help others out too.

I feel like being calm and actually just taking a time out is helping me to see more clearly. I feel like I can ALMOST see this for what it is and I have a better understanding of how this could of came about to begin with. Whats also helped me lately is trusting what you guys say and having belief this is ocd at play.

Having said all of the above I do unfortunately still keep getting the horrible image to do with the night 2 years ago. Is this classic ocd trying to pull me back in? It's like its taunting me saying look at me, im real. I know images can be powerful but I do still worry I'm purposefully trying to forget something.

Any advice for this final hurdle would be very much appreciated. x

Link to comment

Hi Saz,

It's lovely to hear you're doing well. I've started meditation and relaxation myself and I can feel a huge difference in my anxiety. Keep it up - it sounds like you're really winning!

In relation to images, I'd say it sounds to me like you actually know the answer to that one. Really, you're asking us to reaffirm it for you - but you already know the answer! :original:

Good luck

FoosBoo88 x

Link to comment

you're doing sooo well saz, am so impressed!

you've just got to keep doing what you're doing. ocd will get scared and start raising its game, you've just got to stay strong. images, whatever, yes they're powerful but they're part of ocd's desperate tactics! focus on the road ahead and don't get suckered back in to ocd's game no matter what it throws at you X

Link to comment

Thank you foosboo and ginger for your kind replies.

Your right it's like I do know the answer with the images because I get them about other things but im just able to dismiss them much quicker, this should be no different!

I'll keep the positivity up and not let it drag me back in this time. x

Link to comment

It wasn't intended to be Yoda-like (though nice would it be......) but more in keeping with how the prime minister responds at question time, viz!

(" I refer to the answer my honourable friend gave a moment ago").

The "learned" bit is a sop to the fact that, for the majority of the last 20 years of my working life, most of my clients were lawyers!.

Link to comment

When my mother was pregnant with me, and I showed a little reluctance to make my entrance into the world, my uncle suggested taking her for a spin on his motorbike to see if that might move things a long a bit.

I am pleased to say that my mother declined his kind offer, and when I was ready, along I came!

Edited by taurean
Link to comment

Awww PolarBear and Roy :) it means such a lot to me when you say those lovely comments. Gives me even more of a boost and more belief in myself.

This baby is must be very comfortable I tell you! I've tried everything from raspberry tea to pineapple to curry to driving over small speed bumps lol but....nothing! I guess she will arrive when she's ready! x

Link to comment

Gingerbread I think ocd is trying to up its game! I actually feel similar to what you have been feeling-a lingering anxiety in the background.

Another thing I keep doing is almost every piece of negative news I come across, for example, a girl I know has sllit up from her partner, they were due to be married in a few weeks, I apply to me! I think that's what will happen in my future because my intrusive thought will prove to be real!

Now I'm really working hard at not engaging with anything to do with this thought but I'm not sure why I keep thinking like this. It gives the thought so much weight.

Any thoughts guys, been doing sooo well too x

Link to comment

Hi Saz,.

What you are experiencing there is I think what is called "personalisation and blame". It's another form of dysfunctional thinking - there are 10 of these in anxiety disorders - I used to have 3 of them!.

I beat it by recognising what it is and disconnecting from it - not engaging with it.

So, accept that the issues that come along are NOT applicable to you and keep going with distractions - making the cakes - etc

Link to comment

Thank you.

I think the problem is I associate/personalise all these negative things to me because I still think that my 'memory' could be true so it makes it very difficult to dismiss.

I'm pretty sure I've always thought this way even before this major episode but I have in the past been able to dismiss these negative stories and if i personalised them it didn't last long.

I'm ok though, I'm just fed up of ALMOST feeling like the end is in sight bbut not quite getting there.

I know it's only been a few weeks since I've made progress but I'm waiting to be at that point were I can see the thought for what it really is and not let it bother me. At the moment I have to be honest and say it doesn't feel like that will ever happen.

So close guys. .. x

Link to comment

You are close Sarah, you just need to keep that belief, plus following what your knowledgeable forum colleagues say, going.

It's like me being able now to apply The Four Steps to intrusions yesterday when on the way to Croydon, and they went away. I didn't used to be able to do that! But I believe in that OCD management system, and that belief has led to success.

All of us feel see and hear negatives in our daily life - the best way forward is like you say to accept and minimise them, and look to build up the positives. I think that is why the forum has so taken to my "let's look for the positives" thread - which was of course my intention!

Edited by taurean
Link to comment

I'm waiting to be at that point were I can see the thought for what it really is and not let it bother me.

The thing is you need to stop aiming for this magical place of "seeing the thought for what it is" (by which you mean having certainty). You may never get to that point. However you will get to the point of being ok with that. You just need to stop hankering after certainty x

Link to comment

Thanks ginger, that's what I mean - being ok with it all and as you have said in the past to me just knowing that it's to do with the faulty wiring in our brain and nothing more. x

Link to comment

Thanks falcontech, are you feeling better?

I have been doing so well and felt a lot more relaxed and feel like I have gained good knowledge about how all of this works but just getting hit with a few things out of the blue which i hate!

Isn't it funny how one minute we can rationalise and see the thought for what it is yet the next minute its as real and worrisome as its ever been!

Anyway just woke up and feel a cold coming on which isn't good. Baby still not wanting to make an appearance, most likely to be induced now next week. x

Link to comment

Hi Saz

I guessed baby might need to be induced but still time meanwhile (I am a very proud six times Great Uncle!).

Suggest you treat any intrusions same as I did those that popped into my head at Victoria Station on my outbound trip to Croydon.My excellent CBT therapist (herself recovered from OCD, and a great disciple of OCD-UK's patron Paul Salkovskis) told me to treat such unwanted intrusions as "mental chaff" - that sits nicely with me, so I applied distraction and they disappeared!

Keep the faith, apply that belief like I do

Roy

Edited by taurean
Link to comment

It's funny how one intrusive thought can give you so many different intrusive thoughts to go with it but they are all connected.

Feel like a hypocrite today, gave some advice on another thread but feel like I can't take my own. Feel a bit lousy today but still gonna try my best. xxx

Link to comment
Guest jayjay89

Hey Saz,

don't feel lousy, it's always easier to spot OCd at play in others than yourself. Just keep slowly educating yourself and you will get on top of things.'

Fingers crossed your baby comes soon!

Jay

Link to comment

Hi Saz,

Just offering some support. I know how you feel- I've decided to decorate a room today to try and keep busy. My mind keeps wandering and I can't lose the anxiety at the moment.

Hang in there.

Binx

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...