I've just almost had a mental breakdown.

[Guest Anonomous17645]

I've been doing okay for a while now, except this one fear is one that won't go away. I've recently been offered an interview for a new job (which I'm ecstatic about!) but I have my doubts/ general fears. Then add in the ocd fear. I've been feeling anxious and sick all day, to the point where I was almost unable to breathe properly. I knew it was due to anxiety and ocd, but the ocd just kept making it worse. Tonight I've been fearing it my absolute worst, to the point where I just broke down and cried, feeling really down on myself, saying that no one is proud of me, and that I'm not proud of myself anymore. Sounds stupid, but I believe in the afterlife, and I've been asking if my relatives would show me in someway that they are proud of me, and if they would give me some direction, and asking for reassurance. I've give in and started to mentally reassure myself, I can't help it. Feel like I'm about to blow here- I can't cope!

[PolarBear]

The only person whose opinion of you that matters is you.

[Guest Anonomous17645]

The only person whose opinion of you that matters is you.

But my opinion isn't a good one at the moment :/

[legalseagull]

PolarBear is right. Of course it's a bonus if family members say they're proud of you but that can end up being a burden - living up to people's expectations and all that. You need to work on improving your self esteem and self confidence. Not sure how you do this to be honest, I could do with some of that myself.

[Guest lizinlondon]

The best thing for you is to build your self-esteem just as these guys say. You could look up some info on the internet on building self-esteem. After many years of trying to impress my family doing jobs that they wanted me to do, I am finally learning that the only person I need to impress is me!!! I just wish I had learned this sooner and not wasted my energy trying to impress everyone else rather than making myself happy. Good luck!