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Really stressing out..


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I've suffered from lots of different forms of OCD.. But basically I'm convinced I don't love my dog anymore I know that sounds stupid, but I got a new puppy and he's so cute and adorable and now I'm convinced I don't love my dog who I've had for 13 years. It's like I don't know if I do or how I feel? this probably sounds silly to some people but it's making me so stressed and I feel like a horrible person yet again! I've often had thoughts in the past like 'how do I know if I love my family?' Surely you would know if you did love them and you wouldn't have to question it???? I can't cope :( Has anyone else experienced anything like this????? Xx

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Posts aren't always answered within a person's preconceived time limit. Eventually they usually are and a conversation ensues.

Questioning your feelings for another person, or in this case a dog, is fairly common with OCD.

There are two things I suggest you do. First, love your dog. I mean actively do the things that show your live, petting him, giving him an ear scratch, taking care of all his needs.

Secondly, identify your compulsions and resist them. I'm sure you ruminate over this. Work on resisting that. No overthinking the situation.

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I think I love him I mean I never questioned it before I got my new puppy.. I don't know why but it's as thought I need to prove to myself I love him because I don't know if I do.. but I should know how I feel this is why I don't understand why I have to ask myself? I should know! hate my brain =(

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If it's OCD induced, and this seems to be, then it's OCD causing you to question your feelings. That's it. Full stop. Questioning more, trying to figure it out like you just did in your latest post, us ruminating and it needs to stop. It's a compulsion that only serves yo reinforce the obsession and keep it all at the forefront of your thoughts.

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Ruminating is any attempt by you to make yourself feel better, whether by testing something, doing a ritual, trying to work out the problem until you find the "solution" etc.

Notice the urge to fix this problem, that is purely created by a misfiring part of your brain and isn't real, and allow yourself not to know the answer. The reason it's so hard is because of how panicked it makes you feel but if you resist then over time you'll not be so stressed by it and eventually be able to laugh at the thought whenever it comes up.

Chris

Edited by evolve
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Yes but how do you stop ruminating and obsessing?

There is no direct way to stop obsessions. You can ease them and sometimes end them by not performing compulsions.

As much as they seem automatic, compulsions are cognitive in nature... You control them.

It takes practice to stop compulsions. It can seem incredibly difficult at the start. Keep working on it and you'll figure it out.

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Yeah but what if I don't have OCD and maybe I just am a heartless person with no feelings.. because really, no one can guarantee it is OCD!

That's just another "what if?". It's another rumination because you want someone here to tell you something to make it better immediately so you can go "phew, crisis over" until the next time it happens which probably won't be very far away.

We'd love to be able to make you feel better now but it's not how it works and the advice given in this thread is guiding you in the direction you need to go :)

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Guest Daisy_88

Yeah but what if I don't have OCD and maybe I just am a heartless person with no feelings.. because really, no one can guarantee it is OCD!

I could say something but I think that would defeat the object..Like Evolve said: "because you want someone here to tell you something to make it better immediately so you can go "phew, crisis over"

Think about what you have said in the above (the bit I quoted you on). And go and give both your dogs a big belly rub :)

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I'm here now with my dog and I feel so guilty for having these thoughts.. I know to some people I probably seem pathetic because it's just a dog but to me he is my family, I just don't know and need to know how do you know if you love someone? I don't know how I feel and i should, that's what keeps going round in my head, or the fact I would even have this thought at all. I live at home with my mum and I think she thought getting this puppy would help take my mind off things, but it's like another form of OCD has popped up.. I just want to enjoy this rather than constantly stressing and worrying about my thoughts. I've always thought I might be a heartless person so perhaps I am, I'm sure there are people who genuinely don't have feelings or many emotions? maybe I am one of them =[

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Maybe you're a heartless person, maybe you'll never be able to enjoy being with your dog, maybe you'll never love them... these are all ideas that you have to let go and leave unanswered. Trust me, it will get better if you do.

If you want to escape a feeling, escape from having intrusive thoughts, then ocd will always feed off this desperation. Think of it as a kid throwing a tantrum. The more attention you give the more it will continue.

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Ok this has got worse for me.. Can I just ask is there anyone else here who has questioned if they love family/partner etc.. and honestly don't know how you feel? I asked someone earlier today and they said to me well you must know how you feel, but I DON'T. Help

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