The Impartial Observer

[Guest Azamour]

I read a very good post on here last week which helped me to understand what the impartial observer mentioned in Brain Lock actually refers to. However it is still quite difficult to put this into practice. I know the idea is to let the thought sit in your mind and to not fight it. Instead you should distance yourself from the thought and in a way not take ownership or responsibility for it. This can be difficult as sometimes my mind says by not accepting the thoughts as my own I am in denial.

Anyway I wanted to ask what methods and mental processes/tricks do people use to help them step away from their OCD thoughts?

[PolarBear]

There's really no trick to it. You just do it. Actually what you do is don't do it.

We get trained by OCD to perform compulsions (often mental compulsions) when we get an obsession (intrusive thought). It becomes automatic. We get a nasty thought, our anxiety rises, we perform a compulsion, our anxiety goes down for a short time. Repeat.

What you need to do is stop doing the compulsions, including mental compulsions. It's not easy at first. As I said, it's automatic. That's why you train yourself to know that such and such a thought is actually OCD, then you force yourself to not perform compulsions. It takes practice. Lots and lots of practice.

[Guest Azamour]

I find it difficult to tell the difference between mental compulsions and obsessions. My OCD is generally around my sexual orientation and most of compulsions are mental so I find it difficult to differentiate these with obsessions. I have some physical ones also such as checking myself in the mirror and Here are some examples:

• I'll see a good looking guy and my mind will think. He's a good looking guy. You fancy him. Do I really fancy him? He is good looking. What would it be like to be intimate with that guy? etc....
• I'll see a good looking girl and I'll think she's nice. Do you really fancy her though? Are you just conditioned by society to think that you fancy her? Are you being true to yourself? There's a good looking guy. What's the actual difference between being with 1 or the other?
• I obsess that people think I'm gay. I go over conversations again and again and think about sub meanings for things people actually said.
• I have a girlfriend who I really like. I question is I really like her and fear. I also think that if my true orientation is gay that I will loose her.

Anyway, how do I differentiate between these obsessions and mental compulsions?

[Guest Azamour]

Bump. Help please!!

[PolarBear]

Obsessions generally pop up first. All the mental chatter that follows is the compulsion.

It can be difficult to figure out what is the obsession and what is the compulsion. Obsessions generally don't last very long. They just pop up and then your mind takes over and starts ruminating about it.

Obsessions cause distress, while compulsions are carried out to alleviate distress. When an obsession hits it generally causes your anxiety to rise or you to feel guilty, fearful. Compulsions include trying to work things out, presenting counter arguments, trying to answer the question the obsession raised.

[Guest Azamour]

Thank PolarBear. I understand what you are saying. So in general I should leave the initial thought settle and pass through my mind but try and fight against ruminating about it afterwards? I heard a good example which is to view it as a train leaving a station but don't get on it.

[PolarBear]

That is exactly it, azamour.

[taurean]

Yes quite.

P

A thought is only a thought unless meaning is given to it.

Wave it goodbye from the station no need to board it.

If thoughts do stick around and you don't give them credence they lose their strength.