Jump to content

Success story


Guest FormerSufferer

Recommended Posts

Guest FormerSufferer

I want to share my story as when I was struggling with BDD, I wasn't able to find many success stories - I guess because when sufferers get better they are busy with their happy lives and putting their BDD behind them, not often on BDD forums. Sorry to write such a long post, but recovery took a while!

I suffered severely with BDD since puberty. I missed years of school because I couldn't face leaving the house. At times from my teenage years through my early twenties I would go months without leaving the house, only seeing my family. I was a hermit. When I was well enough to go out, I would wake up at the crack of dawn to apply and reapply make-up. I had to allow at least 4 hours. Often I would spend hours getting ready to go out, only to decide I couldn't face it. I would then spend the day feeling guilty, staring at my face in the mirror and picking at my skin. After many, many years I went to the doctor and was prescribed antidepressants. They made me edgy and didn't help, so I stopped after some months. I saw a counsellor. That didn't help. I saw a hypnotist. That didn't help. At one of my lowest points I decided that the life I was leading wasn't worth living. I wanted to make a real effort to get better, and I wasn't sure what I would do if it didn't work. I did a lot of research. I bought a few books - The Broken Mirror and the BDD Workbook and a couple of books on cognitive behavioural therapy generally. The Workbook included lots of practical ways to get better. Based on one of exercises, I created a chart where I had to score a certain number of points each week, and each week the number of points needed increased. I graded the difficulty levels of various activities. For example, going out of my garden gate with no make-up at night would get me 5 points. Going to the supermarket with no make-up would get me 100 points. It was incredibly stressful but I persevered. I actively worked on being "mindful" - every time I had a BDD thought, I stopped and assessed it. For example, if I felt that people were staring at me because I was hideous, I would ask myself a) why would they care that much that there was a hideous stranger and b) do I or anyone I know believe hideous people should stay isolated in their houses. It was important for me that I didn't waste time trying to convince myself that I wasn't hideous - I'd been trying that for years, as had my family, and it hadn't worked. I had to accept that if I was hideous, my family loved me anyway, strangers didn't really care and I was still entitled to a life. The realisation that I'm not hideous came over time, without me forcing it.

I became well enough to socialise and I met my now husband (ten years ago). For over a year he was never allowed to look at me without make-up. I became well enough to get ¬¬¬¬a part time job, but my sickness record was very bad as I often felt too BDD to go into work. I realised that I had reached another plateau and needed to push myself yet again. It was terribly painful, but I decided that I must never ask my boyfriend not to look at me - if my face was red raw from picking at it, if I had terrible spots, whatever - no exception. He didn't run away. His feelings towards me, and the amount he fancied me, didn't lessen. I decided that I must never take time off work because of BDD. I got a full time job.

Things have got better and better since then. I have had a couple of setbacks. I gave up smoking four years ago and that really messed with my mental health for a while. I had a beautiful daughter two years ago, and I found coping with pregnancy hormones hard. But I overcame these things. I never take time off work for BDD. I never cancel social engagements because of BDD. If I planned to go out, I go out. My daughter has no idea I have BDD because I don't act like I have BDD (she copies everything I do and I don't want her worrying about her appearance). It's extremely rare that I have a bad day, and when I do it takes me maybe 45 minutes to get ready to go out. Nothing compared to how it used to be, and probably "normal". I am just about to have my second child and I haven't struggled with BDD the way I did my first pregnancy. I am very rarely preoccupied by my appearance when I am out - maybe a handful of times a year I might wonder if I look ugly - and I wouldn't be surprised if again this was "normal".

You can't diagnose BDD with a blood test. BDD is a set of symptoms. If you act like you don't have BDD, it's almost as if you don't have BDD. I am now 100% sure 100% of the time that I look normal. My life is a million miles from what it was. I'm not transfixed by mirrors. I don't feel ugly or guilty or weak. I have a full and happy life, and I am so grateful for it as I for a long time I thought I would never get these things (children, husband, career). So if you are struggling with BDD, persevere. It is possible.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I am so pleased that you managed to overcome your BDD.Getting those self help books was an excellent idea.I particularly think the point you make where you say "I had to accept that if I was hideous,my family loved me anyway,strangers didn't really care and I was still entitled to a life" is very important and together with making achievable goals is the way to feel better eventually.Thankyou for not forgetting about us

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Foxhill

I read your post with great interest Former Sufferer. My daughter has had BDD for nearly 2 years and won't go out in case people see her. You make me feel there is hope for the future. I do not know anybody else with BDD; my daughter does not want CBT or medication, she just believes very firmly that she needs plastic surgery to cure her ugliness. I am thinking of buying the book you suggested, even if my daughter does not want to know, it may benefit me.

Link to comment
  • 5 months later...
Guest Starlight505

An episode of BBD last year in combination to OCD anxieties led to my 1st ever suicide attempt. I'm pretty normal looking but the society I live around is so VAIN and obsessed with image, looks, money, cars etc. etc. the standards are way to high that I could not keep up any longer, could not cope and wanted a simpler peaceful life. I sometimes feel like moving away to a simpler less capitalist/materialist society however I don't want to leave my family. You wrote a lovely story. Liking the point system.

Edited by Starlight505
Link to comment
  • 6 months later...
  • 3 months later...
Guest Time to Change

So this is my first post on here and after reading this I'm feeling hopeful. The fact that someone themselves can overcome this by true perseverance despite seeking help is motivating as I find myself in a similar situation.

I want to share my story as when I was struggling with BDD, I wasn't able to find many success stories - I guess because when sufferers get better they are busy with their happy lives and putting their BDD behind them, not often on BDD forums. Sorry to write such a long post, but recovery took a while!
I suffered severely with BDD since puberty. I missed years of school because I couldn't face leaving the house. At times from my teenage years through my early twenties I would go months without leaving the house, only seeing my family. I was a hermit. When I was well enough to go out, I would wake up at the crack of dawn to apply and reapply make-up. I had to allow at least 4 hours. Often I would spend hours getting ready to go out, only to decide I couldn't face it. I would then spend the day feeling guilty, staring at my face in the mirror and picking at my skin. After many, many years I went to the doctor and was prescribed antidepressants. They made me edgy and didn't help, so I stopped after some months. I saw a counsellor. That didn't help. I saw a hypnotist. That didn't help. At one of my lowest points I decided that the life I was leading wasn't worth living. I wanted to make a real effort to get better, and I wasn't sure what I would do if it didn't work. I did a lot of research. I bought a few books - The Broken Mirror and the BDD Workbook and a couple of books on cognitive behavioural therapy generally. The Workbook included lots of practical ways to get better. Based on one of exercises, I created a chart where I had to score a certain number of points each week, and each week the number of points needed increased. I graded the difficulty levels of various activities. For example, going out of my garden gate with no make-up at night would get me 5 points. Going to the supermarket with no make-up would get me 100 points. It was incredibly stressful but I persevered. I actively worked on being "mindful" - every time I had a BDD thought, I stopped and assessed it. For example, if I felt that people were staring at me because I was hideous, I would ask myself a) why would they care that much that there was a hideous stranger and b) do I or anyone I know believe hideous people should stay isolated in their houses. It was important for me that I didn't waste time trying to convince myself that I wasn't hideous - I'd been trying that for years, as had my family, and it hadn't worked. I had to accept that if I was hideous, my family loved me anyway, strangers didn't really care and I was still entitled to a life. The realisation that I'm not hideous came over time, without me forcing it.
I became well enough to socialise and I met my now husband (ten years ago). For over a year he was never allowed to look at me without make-up. I became well enough to get ¬¬¬¬a part time job, but my sickness record was very bad as I often felt too BDD to go into work. I realised that I had reached another plateau and needed to push myself yet again. It was terribly painful, but I decided that I must never ask my boyfriend not to look at me - if my face was red raw from picking at it, if I had terrible spots, whatever - no exception. He didn't run away. His feelings towards me, and the amount he fancied me, didn't lessen. I decided that I must never take time off work because of BDD. I got a full time job.
Things have got better and better since then. I have had a couple of setbacks. I gave up smoking four years ago and that really messed with my mental health for a while. I had a beautiful daughter two years ago, and I found coping with pregnancy hormones hard. But I overcame these things. I never take time off work for BDD. I never cancel social engagements because of BDD. If I planned to go out, I go out. My daughter has no idea I have BDD because I don't act like I have BDD (she copies everything I do and I don't want her worrying about her appearance). It's extremely rare that I have a bad day, and when I do it takes me maybe 45 minutes to get ready to go out. Nothing compared to how it used to be, and probably "normal". I am just about to have my second child and I haven't struggled with BDD the way I did my first pregnancy. I am very rarely preoccupied by my appearance when I am out - maybe a handful of times a year I might wonder if I look ugly - and I wouldn't be surprised if again this was "normal".
You can't diagnose BDD with a blood test. BDD is a set of symptoms. If you act like you don't have BDD, it's almost as if you don't have BDD. I am now 100% sure 100% of the time that I look normal. My life is a million miles from what it was. I'm not transfixed by mirrors. I don't feel ugly or guilty or weak. I have a full and happy life, and I am so grateful for it as I for a long time I thought I would never get these things (children, husband, career). So if you are struggling with BDD, persevere. It is possible.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...