Reminder - Language

[Ashley]

Hello all,

Over the years we have tried to moderate the forums lightly, allowing freedom of expression. We know that OCD causes problems all areas of our lives, including a sexual capacity. Talking about OCD fears of a sexual nature is still acceptable, but the wording of those discussions needs to change.

In recent weeks I have seen a huge increase in graphic language to describe some of these situations. In all cases, it is perfectly possible to describe those situations without the use of graphic language.

So to be clear, the situation itself if OCD related can of course be discussed, however we will no longer accept overly graphic language. Posts the moderator's consider inappropriate will be deleted, a second infringement will result in the users account being suspended.

The same with adult language and swearing, whilst we do have swear filters for this, I am fed up of reading threads with constant **** and then another set of **** stars and more ***** every few words. There really is no need for it.

Please don't think we are being prudes, we are not, ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you I swear, but there is a time and place for it, and a place used by children is not it!!!!!

Hopefully, self-moderation will mean we don't ever have to moderate ourselves, please make our job easy.

[gingerbreadgirl]

Fair cop Ashley.

[Ashley]

Fair cop Ashley.

Hopefully a little reminder like this will be all I have to do and I can go back to training rather than moderating in the coming days and weeks

[daisy]

Thank you so much Ashley for highlighting this, as i for one also think that there has been an increase in far too much graphic language used.

[Guest nervous]

Thanks Ashley, I think this is the right direction to steer the forum in.

[OCDCanuck]

That's great Ashley. Some of the posts here have been getting quite ridiculous - especially the one that I assume inspired this reminder.

[Guest Tricia]

I could not agree more and I know of people who have stopped using the forum because of very explicit language.

Yesterday, I logged in and immediately logged out again. It worries me that young people are reading these graphic messages.

[taurean]

Yes its right if course.

I always take a sympathetic view where sexual issues are concerned but lines must be drawn in the sand.

And people should curb their frustrations when they broadcast on the forum and not use swear words.

Edited February 13, 2015 by taurean

[Caramoole]

I could not agree more and I know of people who have stopped using the forum because of very explicit language.

I always take a sympathetic view where sexual issues are concerned but lines must be drawn in the sand.

When moderating the forum we always tread a very fine line. OCD can be very unpleasant in nature and it's important that those fears can be discussed freely without fear or shame. Young children too can experience those very same fears and distressing, intrusive thoughts, age doesn't protect them from having them. It's important that they can identify them (or share them) as part of OCD

BUT....and it's a big but...there are always ways that a problem can be described effectively without the need for detailed and graphic content, whatever it is. If anyone is in doubt or struggles to express themselves, the Moderators are happy to view a post (prior to publishing) and suggest edits to make it acceptable.

Similarly, if another forum user is concerned about content, please contact the Moderating Team.

In general terms it isn't necessary to use expletives....no matter how frustrated we feel. It's important that standards are maintained so the the Forum can be used by (or recommended to) anyone from 8 to 80 years old.

Caramoole

[Guest Saz]

I'm probably going to get told off for this (I hope not though as it's just my opinion) but I think some people feel the need to put every detail down so they get across the full picture/problem to the forum and I guess it can be quite full on or a bit too much for others to read when it's certain themes.

Sorry not wanting to start a debate or cause any trouble at all so please don't think that.

Caramooles idea is good if your worried about the detail in the content x

Edited February 13, 2015 by Saz

[gingerbreadgirl]

I think you're right saz but I think that in itself is a common compulsion x

[Guest Saz]

True x

[Caramoole]

I think you're right saz but I think that in itself is a common compulsion x

Gingerbread's right. It's a compulsion in itself that shouldn't really be encouraged...no matter how driven one feels

[Guest Bumblegirl]

Thank you for writing this. I saw a post the other day which was very graphic and felt it was completely unnecessary but didn't feel I had the right to comment on it xx

[whitebeam]

I often put this forum on my computer while I eat my lunch at work. My line manager came to speak to me and the post (I imagine was the one which was the cause for this) was on the list - I had not opened it , nor planned to - but I nearly died that she may have seen the topic title.

i am never ashamed of the forum or of anyone knowing I use it etc - but that did cause me some discomfort. Thank you for removing it - it did seem too graphic.

[Guest legend]

offense causing offense, describing ones intrusive thoughts . Not nice at all ... but a 12 year old could read it and recognise whats happening inside there brains

descriptive material is natural in a ocd mind , one as a sufferer explains the exact thoughts be it , poo on fingers , sexual , stuff thats the nature of being in the grips of

ocd ... on a ocd forum

Good to see dont explain xyz in graphic detail approach taken by ocduk , draw the line , apreiciate that !!

ocd is ocd same meat just different gravy

Edited February 13, 2015 by legend

[Guest Saz]

Hi legend I was thinking that too x

[Caramoole]

descriptive material is natural in a ocd mind

It is and it isn't.....I think that despite the nature of our thoughts, fears or questions we are still all able to ask ourselves whether what we have written is reasonable or could perhaps be re-phrased somewhat.

Young children too can experience those very same fears and distressing, intrusive thoughts, age doesn't protect them from having them. It's important that they can identify them (or share them) as part of OCD

Not nice at all ... but a 12 year old could read it and recognise whats happening inside there brains

The same point I've raised and it's a point we have to consider....we can't tidy away the nasty, intrusiveness of some thoughts BUT despite that, it can always be done with some sensitivity and consideration. Even a simple self-check like "Would I like my Gran (or 8 year old) to read that?" can help.

If in doubt or struggling...shoot the Moderating Team a PM and we can almost always help re-phrase a post which still gets the message across without causing upset or offence.

Sadly, warnings in thread Titles aren't really enough

[Guest legend]

Yep !!

In the 10 years I've been around on the forums, in general its always been moderated and self moderdated very well, so well done to all ☺

[whitebeam]

I agree with leggy - the forums are great and moderated well - as you say, leggy, self-moderated really well.

I do understand that the forum user was so tied up with the ins and outs of what is and isn't OCD - I understand that only too well - i guess mine was never involving sexual worries so I suppose I hadn't seen how this came about and was probably less tolerant than I might have been - which is bad on my part.

Again, mods - well done for the way you take care of the forum and provide a safe place for us all.

[Guest anatta]

BUT....and it's a big but...there are always ways that a problem can be described effectively without the need for detailed and graphic content, whatever it is. If anyone is in doubt or struggles to express themselves, the Moderators are happy to view a post (prior to publishing) and suggest edits to make it acceptable.

I think this is very important to emphasise, because we have members for whom English is not a native language, and some people struggle to find the right words to express themselves in any language. People with dyslexia, for example, usually have a more general language impairment than simply difficulty reading and spelling. They are often poor at thinking up alternative ways of expressing concepts. So do people with an intellectual disability; let's not forget that people with Down's Syndrome etc. can suffer mental illness just as easily as anyone else, and the fact that someone is able to write messages on a forum and has OCD, doesn't preclude them from having a mild intellectual disability that you can't see.

Then there are people whose language skills might be good but might not intuitively know where the social "line" is in the first place, because of an autistic spectrum disorder or because they're from a less sex-phobic culture where the mere description of harmless sexual activities like masturbation isn't expected to make elderly people have aneurysms or turn children into out-of-control little sex addicts and perverts.

For example, I have very mild Aspergers and for the most part have learned enough do quite well socially by now. But if I had sexual themes, even I would have to rely on watching other people's posts to figure out what level of detail will upset a "family audience". If other people said something and I didn't see them get chastised, I'd assume that's OK for us to say. In some ways I understand people well, because I've read a lot of psychology to compensate, but when it comes to nuanced culture-bound sexual taboos and when it's OK to break them, I just don't naturally absorb these (to my mind) irrational associations and assumptions about things that allegedly causing harm, so they're not intuitive. I have to estimate where the line is based on experiences I can consciously remember, not intuition from societal notions I've absorbed unconsciously.

Now while it's quite possible that none of these demographic factors have played a role in any cases so far anyway, they easily could do. It would be unfortunate for anyone to be automatically suspended for any of these reasons, so I hope judgement is made on a common sense, case-by-case basis and not a zero-tolerance policy.

-Anatta, self-appointed disability and diversity officer, apparently

Edited February 22, 2015 by anatta

[Caramoole]

It would be unfortunate for anyone to be automatically suspended for any of these reasons, so I hope judgement is made on a common sense, case-by-case basis and not a zero-tolerance policy.

This is how it's always been and I feel our judgement has always been pretty sound and fair. I can probably count the few who I've known to be suspended over the last decade and this has generally been for conduct rather than content.

I think this is very important to emphasise, because we have members for whom English is not a native language, and some people struggle to find the right words to express themselves in any language. People with dyslexia, for example, usually have a more general language impairment than simply difficulty reading and spelling. They are often poor at thinking up alternative ways of expressing concepts. So do people with an intellectual disability; let's not forget that people with Down's Syndrome etc. can suffer mental illness just as easily as anyone else, and the fact that someone is able to write messages on a forum and has OCD, doesn't preclude them from having a mild intellectual disability that you can't see.

You do raise some valid points though, ones that I constantly consider. Completely off at a tangent though, the same can apply to users who perhaps do struggle with the written word or comprehension by way of the replies they get. Sometimes there will be users who struggle to absorb the information in the formal (and perhaps technical) manner in which it is written. I think we all perhaps have to consider our writing style and response to others and perhaps adjust it if necessary to help make sure the information can be taken on board.

[Guest anatta]

I probably use formal and technical language quite a lot. Is that why you mention it?

I'm glad you did, because I've never thought of it that way before. When I want to ensure somebody understands something new or complex, I aim for precision and thoroughness, because that's what most often helps ME understand something.

Edited February 22, 2015 by anatta

[Guest anatta]

Definitely a thought I will bear in mind. Taking a moment to judge what style of communication would be most likely to help a given member, instead of speaking to everyone in the manner I prefer to be spoken to in, i.e. precise terms, detail, and spelling out exactly what is meant so there's no ambiguity. Some people won't have the difficulty using context to decipher meaning and so won't need things spelled out in that way - they would just appreciate more commonly heard words.

Edited February 22, 2015 by anatta

[Caramoole]

I probably use formal and technical language quite a lot. Is that why you mention it?

No, not at all. It's just something I have noticed from time to time. We all come from different backgrounds, different educations. We may have different reading abilities, different understanding, some may be very knowledgeable about medical matters others may not, different languages, the list is endless......and a very formal, technical reply will make perfect sense to some and yet may not get the point across for others.

I just felt the the points you raised about peoples ability to express themselves is also relevant to how someone can interpret, understand and benefit from the replies that are offered to them. We're all different in many ways and for many reasons

Caramoole