The mentality is what burries us.

[NicoletteCB]

Hey everyone, last night and this morning has been a very enlightening time with my girl. I finally came clean to her 100% and told her what my OCD theme is specifically having to do with my orientation. She has been supportive since day 1 knowing I have OCD. She's done research, and been extremely patient, carring, and loving to me, I couldn't ask for anyone better and her support is what boosts me up at my low points. I never told her about my flavor of OCD though because I believed that she'd view me differently and accuse me of being straight or bisexual. I told her my whole fear and she has been so kind and openminded, understanding, and loving. Also she can clearly see I am gay with OCD. It is honestly such a relief to tell her, it was a huge weight on me.

But anyway her and I were talking and she has told me that although she prefers woman she is open to all sexes and that she acknowledges that anything can happen and she can end up with a guy and she moves on from it. I cannot though..and maybe it's because of my mentality.

I live everyday like my worst fear is around the corner and every little spike is what's going to "turn" me onto guys. It's almost like if you live everyday of your life believing that the sun will not rise the next morning, no matter how many mornings the sun does rise you believe it won't and every sunset every day you cry and prepare to die and dig your grave but then every morning the sun rises again but you continue to have that doubt and that fear so nothing changes because your mentality did not.

I am just thinking maybe the proper way to deal with our fears is to acknowledge they can happen, but it is a slim chance, regardless of whether or not you can provide proof of the chances.

[taurean]

I am just thinking maybe the proper way to deal with our fears is to acknowledge they can happen, but it is a slim chance, regardless of whether or not you can provide proof of the chances.

By Jove I think she's got it .

That is it I think.

[Guest anatta]

Well done for getting the courage to tell her. The first few times I told people what my obsessions were, I felt worse for some reason, and it wasn't because of their reaction. I can't put my finger on why but I think it might have been that saying it out loud made the fear seem even more like a real problem. But lately when I tell people, as I did at work recently, it feels like a weight lifted. Only problem is I can get tempted to use it as an opportunity to seek reassurance, by monitoring their reactions to the subject matter, asking what they think about it and consciously adding their response to my list of evidence that what I fear is not true. Then ruminations can kick in afterwards, making sure that at each point they really did react in the way I would want. Not to me and my problem, but to the theme itself.

Edited February 28, 2015 by anatta