mental block when walking

[Phili]

I have developed this problem with walking around. As soon as I walk around for more than a few minutes my chest becomes tight, my head spins, I get dizzy and I feel like physically I can't walk, even though I can. Basically I start to get an anxiety attack. I am in a very high state of anxiety at the moment and have had this walking thing before. It got much worse after my panic attack which I got when walking towards the toilet. Can anyone relate? Obviously my OCD is attacking this and also causing a compulsion to get up and walk around

Edited April 21, 2015 by Phili

[Hal]

I don't know what we're going to do with you Phili :original: you posted this a little after five on the 'Challenge' thread:

Not post OCD for 6 hours

It's coming up to seven o'clock and already you've given in and posted.....all of us here know how hard it is ignoring the urge to complete a compulsion, but it has to be done......the hard graft has to be done by you.

We can't keep going on like this and setting your messages as invisible or locking them, I should think you're as tired of it as we are, but how are we going to help you move forward? The forum does seem to have become more of a hindrance than a help to you, would it actually help if we put Moderator Approval on your posts?

It wouldn't be long term, just a couple of days and it would be something as a team along with you we'd have to chat over, but perhaps it would help you break the habit of immediately posting and allow you a breathing space to pause, take stock and implement the advice you've been given over the last week.

It isn't a punishment Phili, as I say, we all know the power that comes with the disorder, but it may just help you take that next step.

What do you think?

Hal :original:

[Phili]

I just wanted advice on how to handle this, it feels like weakness but it doesn't seem to be, its hard to ignore...I do have some weakness because I'm shot after everything...I've been like it before but not with a health phobia, its been since the panic attack...

moderating my posts would not help, it would also make me highly disgruntled, closing threads is one thing, I have to be able to do this on my own...or I will never improve...

I didn't think I was ruminating on this post. I just need rest but my health OCD is attacking me over it...

Edited April 21, 2015 by Phili

[Hal]

I have to be able to do this on my own...or I will never improve...

Absolutely, that's what we're trying to get you to take on board, but so far despite all the advice offered to help you improve, you're still performing the compulsion by rushing to the board and as a result staying stuck.

The way to find rest, is to sit with the anxiety, however horrible it is....don't fight it, let it wash over you, let it fade and refocus on playing with Anne, writing, the things you enjoy doing.

So what's the plan of campaign? Are you going to work much harder to resist the urge to post?

If I'm honest I think at some point Mod Approval might be necessary, but hopefully you'll prove me wrong - put on those boxing gloves Phili and hit the OCD where it hurts.

I've said this before I know, but you have what it takes to do this......all you need to do, is give yourself a fighting chance.

[Phili]

I do feel weak though and trembly. I got used to a lack of stress since my Mum...so this new build up is hard to adjust to

I am fighting, but its hard, its not going to be overnight, the anxiety is constant, I am trying...

[Hal]

I am trying...it's not going to happen overnight

I know you're trying Phili, but you've got to try and dig just that bit deeper with this forum posting thing, no one's saying it's going to be easy....if it were we'd all be free of this hellish disorder relatively quickly, it'll take you time to feel the benefits, but to get to that stage we've each of us got to make a start, to stand any chance of making headway.

You have the knowledge now (tools) Caramoole and the rest of us have suggested you use, it's really a case now of using them for yourself.

Don't forget the other forums are there for you, Central Perk etc, why not post a topic about Anne, how she's getting on, the daft things she gets up? Or maybe a thread about your writing? Japanese culture?

The trick's to try and keep busy in some way and however strong the urge to post on the support forum, remind yourself you're strong enough to bear the anxiety, because you are Phili, we all are.

[Phili]

I made it six hours from my last post.

I got up for the loo, not as bad as usual, chest tight, got light pins and needles everywhere, mostly on the left side as usual...*breaths* I think I'm getting better at this, even my scalp, which now and then also goes numb...Ah, ever since that panic attack I get numbness in new areas

[Phili]

Still feel weak and trembly when standing, was fine until that panic attack now I am suffering fom fatigue. Trembly when I get up, feel bloated and my shoulders feel like they are trying to leave there sockets. Numbness and tingling is down. Still have some in the side of my left arm and little finger and sometimes a lot over both legs and arms and hands when very stressed or anxious. Still having issues with the walking but trying to push past the mental block. If I can keep calm and get rest I should be OK in a couple of weeks but the mental health nurse is coming on Monday...

Challenge - from, this post go seven hours without stating all this again

Get on with my work

Play some games

Edited April 22, 2015 by Phili

[Hal]

Challenge - from, this post go seven hours without stating all this again

:original:

[Caramoole]

Why do you write it down Phili? What's your purpose, thinking or reason behind this?

[Phili]

It makes me feel more safe, otherwise I am just alone in it...It gives me comfort

[Caramoole]

Do you accept it makes you worse in the long run?

This is something we've talked about for many months and if anything, it's increased significantly

[Phili]

...Partially...I understand that it makes me worse...its hard...I feel like a failure

[Caramoole]

I know it's hard. It's something that every person here knows because we've all experienced it in one way or another. None the less, it's something that we have to address and it's not ideal that the forum is used as a direct platform to carry out compulsions.

It is a futile coping method, as are all compulsions and it really has to be worked at and addressed to make improvements or sadly, we have to endure the consequences....but even though it provides momentary comfort, it still doesn't mean that it's healthy to allow you to use the forum in that way.

[Phili]

But I am also using the forum to improve it, going several hours without posting, adding an extra hour each time and sometimes exceeding the amount of time in my challenge so I am addressing it and trying.

I also haven't cancelled my appointment with the mental health nurse

[Caramoole]

I also haven't cancelled my appointment with the mental health nurse

Good, I should hope not. You need to start the ball rolling towards getting some proper treatment to help with this.

But I am also using the forum to improve it

I'm still not happy that the forum is used for this method tbh It is involving others in your compulsions, even though they may not want or agree to be.

I put an analogy the other day about a recovering alcoholic and said that if he wanted to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting but wanted to be able to sip a bottle of brandy to ease his nerves, it just wouldn't be allowed under any circumstances. This is one of the things the Mod Team isn't comfortable with

In a way, this is similar to what's been happening here the last couple of weeks.....not just questions or doubts that you've raised many times but direct compulsions, with the forum being used intentionally for that purpose. That's where a problem lies.

[Phili]

But I'm trying and improving over the last couple of days using this method, instead of posting syptoms every few minutes its only been a few times a day

[Phili]

Trouble is, walking up and down is now turning into a compulsion

[Phili]

It was wind, I rubbed my stomach and it, after a panic attack, started to relieve...I haven't been eating well, all that anxiety, all that ruining my challenge, it makes me so angry. I faced the fear and defeated it, I took my plate in the kitchen, my ear went numb the anxiety was so high, but I am regulating my breathing, went to the loo and stood looking at my brothers video game, I feel pumped and excited for some reason, I guess its the adrenaline

[Phili]

I made it!

My chest is still a little tight, head a little light, numbness barely there

OK, 8 hours from this post

[Guest Heryn.]

Well done for making progress. :original:

[Phili]

13 hours!

I have some mild pain in my chest and a mild numbness

[Phili]

My head is spinning like a ball bearing in the back of my head, I feel sick and my head hurts...